The Family Expansion

It's Booked!

2011-12-23T21:24:00.005-07:00

Things have been pretty quiet on the blog the past three weeks, but definitely not quiet in the house. Although the house was completely decorated for Christmas during the last weekend of November, one of our trees (the big fancy one with all the glass) was taken down two weeks later. Our kitten won the battle when it came to whether he should destroy it or we put it away. One afternoon, I came home to 7 smashed glass ornaments and the bottom three rows of 850 lights on the floor. I saw him stand on his back feet and use both front feet to reach as high as he could to pull down the 8th ornament. That night, the tree was taken down.

Since then, the mood changed around the house. Literally, the next day our minds and hands wanted to continue in the next step. You could say that the cat got the ball rolling around our house. Although the rest of the house remained beautifully decorated for Christmas, we are anxiously counting down to boxing day to put it all away. We finished our Christmas shopping early, as usual, so I began making freezer meals, got baking in the freezer and finally threw my hands in the air and said "I'm packing!".

Four hockey bags and two enormous Rubbermaid totes are stuffed full and weigh in at 48 lbs a piece. Donations for the CAFAC foster home and Compassion school are ready to go. We are not taking clothes this time so those are fully loaded with books, supplies, specifically requested purchases, medicinal items, toys, and even a playpen.

Suitcases are being packed. Mihret's stuff is ready to go. Odds and ends items needed are ready to go. Mikiyas' stuff is almost completely packed, minus the toothbrush! I'm not far behind. Lyle's following closely, itching to get ready too.

Immunizations, Dukoral, prescriptions are all done. Pet sitting arranged. Time off from work set up. Dayhome one-month shut down notice has been given. House care arranged too. Piano teacher and Tae Kwon Do Master notified.

All this done with no travel date. Just an idea of when we'd like to set off.

Finally with news from Nairobi to CAFAC of a "possible" date, with an apology [that never happens] for taking so long, we decided to check in to flights. We didn't plan on booking, but wanted to get a feel for how the flight budget was looking this time of year. Three travel agents later, we accepted the fact that there were literally a handful of flights available. And those were going fast ... and expensively. One agency even told me they couldn't find much of anything for return flights until February! Especially with all of us going. Eventually a flight was found, but not all of us could fit.

Well, welcome to one of the worst days I could have had. No visa. Travel agents with horrible news [limited flights and big money]. I fell flat on my back on the ice [didn't notice the pain until I calmed down a day later and realized how bad I hurt my leg in the fall]. Some cheques deposited to my account were bounced. Not my cheques, but someone else providing me with money. Two hockey bags filled with things to take no longer being usable. My cat managing to knock over gallons of water that soaked down to the basement and ruined papers. Oh how the list goes on .......

Forty-eight hours later [and about ten hours of that on the phone] we booked some flights. Ten minutes after I realized what I just did, I felt like throwing up. My head was pounding. I felt exhausted. But I felt relieved. It took a few hours to settle in that I was FINALLY going to meet my daughter.

So, although the visa has not been issued, Mikiyas, my mother and myself will be leaving soon for Ethiopia. A week and a half later, Lyle and his mother will join us. Two weeks after that, we will return to Calgary with our darling Mihret. We have been assured and supported by CAFAC that we did indeed need to book flights given the circumstances, and that the visa should be given to us with at least a few days to spare before returning home.

I can't believe we are finally this close. The other day I received the news that my cousin is pregnant. Her third pregnancy and fourth child [one set of twins]. She became pregnant the first time shortly after we started this adoption. Realizing that really made me realize how long this has taken! But a big congratulations to them too.

Nairobi

2011-12-01T21:14:00.000-07:00

The next few steps that were needing to be taken apparently happened / are happening. It appears a few things have stepped into high gear. It was only two weeks ago, which in adoption land was a short time ago, we found out MOWA did the letter to request to new birth certificate and passport. Since that time, those have both been issued, all documents have been translated and put together, the file was sent to Nairobi and Nairobi has advised that they are reviewing it.

So not so much is left now. Nairobi has already sent the medical form to Ethiopia for Mihret to be checked by the doctor. The doctor will then forward it to London for the Canadian immigration doctor to review and approve. The doctor will send it back to Nairobi and Nairobi will issue the visa. Nairobi usually advises CAFAC when they are sending the visas on to Ethiopia. When they advise this, we are then told to book our flights so we can arrive in Ethiopia about the same time.

We continue to hurry up and wait. Patiently.

Water Project

2011-11-30T16:27:00.005-07:00

After two years of fundraising [and a little stressing], our family completed the fundraising of $25,000.00 for the spring capping and water supply to a village in Southern Ethiopia. This morning a final donation was received bringing conclusion to an amazing adventure.

This project was an expensive project because it was not just a matter of digging a well and walking away. Although expertise to complete this was needed, the people of the village built it themselves, with proper training being provided, and they therefore own it. I mean this in the sense that there is the sense of ownership for them. This includes lying 3.12km of pipe down. They also received the training to build and repair so that this will last lifetimes over. Proper hygiene and nutrition training was also completed.

The village has increased in numbers since the building was completed. Families have been reunited as members who worked outside of the village have been able to return home to healthy growing crops, healthy clean water and several now-established village committees to look after water management, healthy and environment [including tree planting, protection and watershed management].

Here are some photos:

silt settling tank

spring cap #1

spring cap #2

spring cap #3

one of the water points

We will note that the building completed just prior to the drought so lives were saved from one little boy's dream. THANK YOU SO MUCH TO EVERYONE FOR YOUR CONTRIBUTIONS. Together, we gave life! Thank you for being super heroes.

You should know ...

2011-11-15T13:28:00.000-07:00

We now await the new passport and new birth certificate to be issued. With those two things, a visa will be requested from Nairobi. Nairobi will send a medical form to Haregewain to have completed first. Once that is done and returned, Nairobi will issue a visa and we will be advised to be book flights.

Seems simple, but can still take months to happen. We'll keep praying for a speedy miracle.

The Friday Meeting

2011-11-09T14:34:00.000-07:00

So, what happened with the big important meeting on Friday? Did Haregewain have any headway with MOWA at the meeting that kept us on pins and needles? Are those of us with children from a certain area any further ahead?

No.

We were informed, without apology, that we were misinformed. That the all important meeting was not with MOWA. The pins and needles and hope we all held onto was for not needed.

The meeting was with other people that are involved in processing adoptions. They met to discuss if anyone with adoptions from the certain area were moving ahead. We have been informed that CAFAC "will not be meeting with MOWA, as she has been advised that this would not improve the situation. As an agency we need to proceed very carefully and respect the Ethiopian process. Haregewain continues to be hopeful that the letters will be issued, but has no timeline, we will need to continue to remain patient.".

An Update of Sorts

2011-11-02T15:42:00.000-06:00

It's been almost two months since the last update that wasn't really an update of progress. I figured it's about time I let you know what we've been hearing. First, here's a brief history:

Lyle attended court on July 25. At that time, he was told that they would expect us to go to Ethiopia to pick up Mihret and bring her home for ever at the end of October.

End of October has come and gone.

Delayed. Why?

We were first delayed for one month because our file was locked inside the courthouse and the courthouse was closed for the rainy season / new year. It would have been longer but the head lady from MOWA was able to get into the courthouse to retrieve our file, along with others.

The second delay has been ridiculous. This delay still stands. It has been two months since our file was retrieved, and the days will continue to move for who knows how long. We are waiting for MOWA to issue their form letter advising both Immigration and Vital Statistics that we are legally Mihret's parents. Immigration would then issue a passport and Vital Statistics would issue a birth certificate. Both are required before the Embassy in Nairobi can request / proceed with the medical check on Mihret and visa issuance.

Why is MOWA sitting on their letters?

The reason is pure speculation. Both speculative reasons have been voiced by more than one employee of our agency. Both speculated reasons are legitimate reasons from MOWAs viewpoint to hold up ours, and other people's files.

1. Contact by Canadian families, both waiting in Canada and waiting in Ethiopia, with MOWA is not allowed. Canadian families have made direct contact with MOWA asking them to move things along. MOWA is not impressed.

2. MOWA did not want the adoptions to become legal for those children that came through the orphanage that is now closed. This includes Mihret. The judge overruled MOWAs feelings. MOWA is not impressed.

MOWA can sit on our letters for as long as they want. However, the agency's representative in Ethiopia has met once, and will again this Friday, with the Ministry hoping to get our letters done ASAP.

Please join us, and other families, in prayer as we all want our miracle of having our children home for Christmas. Although Christmas is very soon and the timing is unlikely, we can still pray for the miracles.

Immigration

2011-09-16T10:23:00.000-06:00

We received an update from CAFAC that the approval letter to Vital Statistics and Immigration has not been issued from MOWA yet and delivered to the Embassy. This is needed before Immigration will issue a new birth certificate and passport. The reason is unknown, but a guess has been given that it may simply be because the courts are closed and therefore the head of MOWA has been away a lot during this time. We may or may not see the next step until after courts re-open on October 13.

Court Decree

2011-09-08T10:12:00.000-06:00

Just a quick note of good news. Although the court house has been closed and we have currently been delayed a month so far, we did receive the Adoption Decree today. We will not have to wait until October 13 to obtain it.

From reading the decree, we did see that MOWA objected to following through with the adoption as Mihret did come through an orphanage [name not necessary] that is no longer licensed. However, the Federal First Instance Court dismissed their opinion in this regard as the adoption contract between us and the orphanage was signed before the closing of the orphanage, and it is Mihret's best interest that she been adopted rather than remain an orphan in Ethiopia.

God is good.

Now we await the vital statistics and immigration letter to be issued by MOWA. Once that is completed, the new birth certificate and passport can be requested. Upon receipt of that, the visa can be requested from Nairobi!

Getting closure.

God is good.

Court Closure Has Caused Delay

2011-09-02T10:12:00.000-06:00

Although things were very optimistic for us, in that we would not be affected by court closures, that is not the case. We have been affected. Our file, as with many others, has been delayed.

We passed court. We received our MOWA approval. Both things were the BIG steps needing to be done in order for us to proceed without delays caused by the court date. So why are we delayed? Because MOWA did not physically release the documents before the court closure. Evidently, the next steps cannot be taken without the paperwork. A new birth certificate cannot be issued. A new passport cannot be obtained. Translating all the documents cannot be completed. Thereby, no application for the visa / immigration can be made.

The court is closed until October 13. There is hope that the amazing lady with our agency in Ethiopia will be able to have the head of MOWA get the documents before the court re-opens. The head of MOWA is away right now, but CAFAC is optimistic that she will be able to help upon her return. So there is hope. If not, rushing to have the big court date and MOWA approval before the court closed was not worth the panic.

We received word of our MOWA approval On August 10. It's been wasted time since then. We are not angry. We are not depressed. We are not discouraged. Just annoyed. We will continue to be patient. We will trust that this is still God's perfect timing ~ perhaps even if just to give more post-surgery recovery time to my mother so she can make the trip with us. That alone would make the delay worth it. But, as many steps are still needed to be completed before we can go get Mihret, please continue to pray and hope that the documents will be released soon.

Afrikadey

2011-08-18T08:32:00.001-06:00

Last weekend was the Afrikadey Symposium [Aug 12] and Festival [Aug 13]. Doing the Symposium with Mikiyas was quite the experience. It was held at Calgary's Main Branch Library down town. Over 100 people were there to ~~pass judgement~~ watch and learn.

We got there early for the reception and a chance to meet the other speakers. I was nervous at this part as I knew who some of the big named people were. It felt weird to know that I was meeting some truly professional and learned stars. But after the first introduction and five seconds of chatter, I felt totally at ease. Of course, it helped that she wouldn't look up from her solitaire game on her phone and was shocked to hear that this young boy would be speaking, having no faith in it all with her rude comment. I wanted to smack her. Instead, it made me feel that we could do this and she really was no better than us just because she was famous.

The rest of the night was fantastic. Mikiyas and I were first, which did make me a little nervous. It also made me think "Good, everyone will have gone home forgetting about the little people and our fumbled presentation.". The mediator was hilarious and it helped to make us comfortable on stage as well.

Mikiyas did a fantastic job. Absolutely fantastic, and he kept people laughing. And the woman with little faith, she laughed and thought he did terrific too. Before leaving she gave me a hug and was pleased to see what a difference we can make. [Showed her, didn't we!] I can't upload the video because it's too large.

At one point during my speaking, I wasn't sure if I came across as bragging about what we do. It bothered me for the next two hours of sitting onstage [of which Mikiyas did awesome at in just sitting and waiting for it to end!]. When one woman spoke about how many people she helps etc it made me think I'm not even close to bragging when you hear that! But I was really comforted that our message came across properly when the open question period ended up concluding with questions and very positive comments to Mikiyas and I. It didn't end with the stars. It ended with the little people. I think this is not because of what we do or who we are, but because the people can relate. They can help in smaller ways than building and starting schools. They can help without writing books, singing on stage and touring the world. They can teach their own children now so compassion becomes a part of them as a child, not something to learn as an adult. They can make a difference as a family, not a star. They can relate to doing something one small step at a time.

Don't get me wrong though. The other people on the panel taught amazing things. They gave great encouragement and voiced many very good points. It was quite a treat for everyone in there to be able learn from them. And they are incredibly talented.

After question period and dismissal, we answered many questions from people, giving them further information about specific projects and even advice on how to talk to their own kids. It really was quite the experience. To have the amazing opportunity to teach others and be on the same playing field as incredible stars was quite uplifting. We walked away feeling blessed in so many ways.

The next morning Mikiyas and I went for a walk. We talked a lot about the things we learned. He asked questions about some of the African traditions that were discussed by some of the panel. He asked about men versus women rights. He felt strongly that boys and men should never hurt a woman and that men are not better than women. He concluded our walk with a very insightful statement: "The good and beautiful traditions of Africa should stay and the bad traditions should be punished.".

We headed out to the Festival after our walk. We enjoyed the heat, some music and tried new foods. We were able to buy pure shea butter from Ghana. Mikiyas really had no interest in the music though - he preferred frisbee and spent a huge chunk of the day practicing. He's become quite good at it. He did sit and listen to one musician, and only one. Ara Queen of the Drum. She was on the panel with us the night before. We hit it off with her very well. Ara is from Nigeria and is a beautiful woman, both inside and out. Mikiyas asked if we could go say hi to her so we snuck back stage past security and he was embraced with the biggest hug. "Aunty" Ara is truly wonderful and we will miss her. However, we've already been emailing up a storm and I believe she will be a part of our lives forever.

Although you don't see Lyle's name mentioned above, he was there. He is very much a part of everything that happens [including holding our coats]. He may not be front and center, answering the questions or managing Mikiyas' interview time slots, but he is a crucial and important part of everything. But for him, none of this would have happened.

Happy Birthday Mihret!

2011-08-16T12:24:00.000-06:00

Today Mihret turns one. Well, she actually started her birthday late last night, given the time difference. As we did with Mikiyas, we had a little get together with friends on Sunday. We had an open house filled with food and drinks and lots of conversation. Mihret received some cards and even a few birthday presents.

Thank you to everyone for celebrating our passing of court, MOWA and Mihret's first birthday! Thank you to those who brought food, plates, cups, cards and presents. We appreciate every ounce of kindness from you all. To know that you all hold Mihret dear to you already means so much. One day she will know of your kindness too.

______________________________________________

Mihret, we love you so much. We are sorry that we are unable to spend this special day with you. You are growing up so quickly. We're getting your room ready for you, and it was filled with more treasures and girly clothes on your special day. It was only a few days ago that we learned we received our MOWA Approval. I know you don't know what that means, but it was the best birthday present ever!

Mikiyas can't wait to play with you, show you around your bedroom and teach you so many things. He's a wonderful teaching and you will learn so much from him. Mikiyas loves you incredibly. He is so proud that you are his sister. He spent your birthday wearing his favorite t-shirt "Mess with my sister, you mess with me." Each day he prays for you and asks God to bring you home soon. Mikiyas is learning and preparing himself to have you join our home forever. He asks lots of questions about what you will be able to do with him, and how the best way to help you and teach you is. You are loved by your very protective and caring big brother more than you could ever dream. You are so lucky to have him to watch over you. I think one day our whole town will know to never mess with you or they'll be chased down by Mikiyas.

Papa misses you a lot. He thinks of you everyday. He remembers your touch and how you felt lying in his arms. He remembers your alligator tears and wishes he could wipe away every one of them. Papa loves the big curls in your hair. When he talks about you, he lights up. He misses you and loves you so much that he hasn't once told me to stop buying things for you and your bedroom. He's even finding little pink shoes to be cute! Each day I know it breaks Papa's heart that he can't be with you still, and that it's taking as long as it is to have you home with us. You are forever special to him. You will always be his amazing, gorgeous daughter. He is doing everything he can to get you home. And I'm pretty sure he will do anything for you once you are home. I'm pretty sure you'll have him wrapped around your finger pretty quick.

I think of you every day too, Mihret. There's not a day that goes by where I'm not wondering what you are doing, how your health is and how you are growing. I've been planning your bedroom, but am leaving a lot of the finer details for you to plan out as you grow older and express to us the things you love most. I'm picking out lots of clothes to surprise you with in Ethiopia. I hope you like purple and pink! They are the colors of the little toy your darling big brother bought you so I'm sure you will like them. I love looking at your picture and imagine holding you, doing your hair and giving you lots of snuggles. I can't wait to kiss your cheeks and whisper I love you. God could not have made me happier when he blessed my life with you for a daughter.

One day soon we will be with you. It won't be too long now. Two of your Grandmas will come with us. They can't wait to meet you either. They're feeling pretty special that they get to travel half way around the world to meet you soon. So hold on tight ... we'll be there soon ... and we'll have an even bigger party when you get home. All our love to you!

MOWA Approval

2011-08-10T13:32:00.000-06:00

MOWA approval is a big step. Regardless of whether court has granted custody of the child to you, MOWA can deny it if they see a reason to do so. The court cannot overturn MOWA's decision.

Court closures do affect MOWA approvals as well. Approvals completed by MOWA cannot be processed during court closures. MOWA can give the approval, but the paper work and completion cannot happen if the court is not open. Court closed August 8.

We received news today that MOWA approved our file and it was finalized with the courts on the last day the courts were open.

We are incredibly blessed that we had our file finalized on August 8. We are truly blessed with God's timing.

So what's next?

A new birth certificate has to be issued naming us as parents, and a new passport is generated. Estimated time is 6-8 weeks, however it has been seen to happen quicker on occasion.

Documents are translated. This takes approximately 2 weeks.

Documents are put together and sent to Nairobi requesting a visa to be issued. Nairobi then sends a medical form back to Ethiopia requesting a medical be performed. The medical is done and the form is returned to Nairobi. Nairobi then issues the visa. CAFAC then informs us that the visa is on it's way to Ethiopia for Mihret and we can book our flights. This process takes anywhere from 2-10 weeks, sometimes even longer. [Those doing the citizenship route do not have to do the medical form. We chose the permanent residency route way back when we started because the citizenship route was too new and had glitches.]

In other words, we do not know when we can pick Mihret up. We will not know until it is time to do so. If, after a while, we get annoyed by the question "when", please forgive us. *smile*

Court Closure Part 2

2011-08-07T21:49:00.000-06:00

I was advised this morning that the court closure will not be August 8 to September 19 as I previously stated. That is true for the Ethiopian calendar.

How it affects us is August 8 to October 13. Sorry for the confusion [although some of you may be more confused now].

Airdrie City View

2011-08-05T11:55:00.002-06:00

Covy Moore

Six-year-old Mikiyas Hatton of Airdrie has raised about $21,000 to build a well in Toniya, which is located in southern Ethiopia. He is just shy of his goal of $25,000, the number that will trigger a $50,000 Canadian grant to help build a water system in the nation currently crippled by drought.

Local boy raises money for clean drinking water in Ethiopia

Aug 05, 2011 06:00 am | Trevor Bacque

Airdrie’s Mikiyas Hatton is compelled to aid his home country of Ethiopia to secure clean water for its people.

The six-year-old boy was adopted by Airdrie couple Sheri and Lyle Hatton in May of 2007.

Two years ago, Hatton was watching television with Lyle when he saw a program about the poor water conditions in the East African country.

“I was watching TV and I saw someone picking up dirty water with mud in it,” said Hatton. “I said ‘dad, we need to help those kids’ and that’s how it started. I was non-stop. I asked 100 times.”

A few months later in December, the family attended a dinner function for Hope International, a not-for-profit international development agency. Hatton heard a presenter tell the audience two out of five children in Ethiopia will die due to unsanitary drinking water.

“When you think about the drought (now), thousands of people are dying,” said Sheri.

Now, two years after beginning his journey, Hatton is nearing his goal of clean water for the village of Toniya in the Bonke district of southern Ethiopia.

As of July 2, he has raised about $21,000 towards his goal of $25,000 to build a well in Toniya. Once those funds are in place, the government of Canada will provide an additional $50,000 in grants for the project. The well will also employ and empower local villagers who will help with the installation of the new water system and learn new skills.

Funding has come from friends and family and the Hattons have also put aside funds each month for the project.

When Sheri discovered her adopted son was interested in giving back, she wasn’t surprised. “He has always been filled with compassion for children,” she said. “If there’s a child crying, he goes to them. He has the heart.” Hatton would even go so far as to give away Christmas toys away and had birthday parties where gifts would go directly to Ethiopian kids.

The family also supports international aid projects in Uganda and Zimbabwe.

The couple is currently in the process of adopting a daughter, also from Ethiopia.

Hatton and Lyle will be speaking about the project at the Afrikadey Celebration in Calgary, Aug. 12. The speaking engagement is at the Calgary Public Library, 606 MacLeod Trail S.E.

____________________________________________________________

Only a few mistakes, but a great article nonetheless. The water project is completed in Toniya, it isn't a well, which is why it costs so much and Lyle was shocked to hear that he will apparently be speaking at the Symposium. I told him I'd even let him prepare the presentation this weekend but he wasn't too impressed by my suggestion. I do have to say though, it really does look so much better in the paper than online. And the story is even listed on the front page! Out of the three interviews, this is the first one to make me cry. I'm such a proud mother! Thank you CityView for doing such an awesome job.

CBC - Radio Canada International

2011-08-02T22:11:00.000-06:00

Here is the interview with Frank Rackow, National Reporter for Radio Canada International. It aired this morning, but I didn't know until after. They were so kind to send me an mp3 file of it right away. Do hope you enjoy.

You can hear Mikiyas constantly clearing his throat. That's him dealing with his swollen tonsils. The pictures were added by myself on this clip because I couldn't load an audio file to blogger. It had to be video file so I put a few pictures on to give you something to stare at while listening.

Lyle's Update on Mihret

2011-07-28T21:32:00.002-06:00

Lyle is still recovering from his very quick trip to Ethiopia for court. He spent more time traveling than in Ethiopia so his body is confused with all the changing sleep patterns. Welcome to fatherhood again! Hopefully soon he'll be able to come on himself and write about his trip.

For now, here's an update on Mihret:

She's emotional. It's very understandable given Lyle was a new person to her and Lyle is a man. She doesn't know men at the foster home. But when she finally relaxed, it resulted in her sleeping in his arms.

She's definitely gained weight. She's at 20 lbs now at 11 months. She went from being underweight to overweight. Although she has teeth, they are still feeding her a very high fat protein mix of formula and baby cereal mixed.

Her hair is not as curly as Mikiyas'. More loose curls. While Lyle was there they kept slicking it back with Vaseline or something.

She really enjoys music and can keep a good beat.

She absolutely L.O.V.E.D. the little toy Mikiyas picked for her. She wouldn't put it down.

She, and all the children, are very well taken care of and loved at the foster home.

I don't think there was anything else to add. Lyle's at work and I can't remember now. If there's more, he'll hopefully add it to his post [if it gets done ;)].

Afrikadey

2011-07-26T13:59:00.001-06:00

On another note ... we are hoping you can join us in Calgary for the Afrikadey Celebration. Mikiyas and I will be speaking at the Friday night symposium held at the Library main branch. We have the wonderful opportunity to meet and speak with many award winning professionals. Please come join us Friday, August 12, 2011 at 7:00 pm. Here are some highlights of who will be there, and other things happening:

Angélique Kidjo, Grammy Award-Winner, http://www.kidjo.com/

2010 Crowd Favourite - Nomfusi Gotyana, http://www.myspace.com/nomfusi

Shad K., Juno Award-Winner, www.shadk.com

Kids 12 & under and Seniors 65+ get in free on the August 13th event.

Creative Youth Concert on August 10th, will feature the top youth acts from our Black History Month Creative Youth Concert.

Opening Gala on August 8th will feature a very unique band called Etran Finatawa who perform the Saharan Blues. This event will also feature a special screening of the film "13 Months of David" by Dr. Nic David, a fashion show, African appetizers, dancing, and jazz poetry by Malcolm Mooney and percussionist Luis Tovar.

My Day of Court

2011-07-25T04:24:00.000-06:00

I spent most of Sunday keeping myself busy and not thinking about the fact that Lyle would soon be waking up to attend the all-too-important court date. Mikiyas and I attended the block party in the afternoon. He had a blast and as I kept having to answer questions about court and repetitively telling people that "yes, sometimes court doesn't go through for the adoptive family" I became increasingly psyched out.

Most people are of the assumption that court is easy-breezy and always goes through without a hitch. Yes, the percentage is much higher that it does go through than that it doesn't. However, there are times that families who have accepted their referral, attached themselves to their new child, embraced and prepared themselves in every way, have had the heartbreak of losing their child at the court session for any number of reasons. This recently happened to friends of ours and they have constantly been on my mind since as a reminder that we don't always know the outcome.

Mikiyas and I spent the evening enduring the pain of corn rows. He looks amazing and oh-so-karate kid. This kept my mind off things. I then headed to bed early, expecting that I'd not be able to fall asleep. Miraculously, I was out rather quickly. I woke up about 2:20 am and was done for. Lyle and I texted a couple of times. At 11:47 pm he said "we will be going in soon". I laugh now because it was at 3:03 am that the next text came saying "still waiting to get in to the see the judge". Exactly two minutes later he says "Done court now. I will call in a few minutes from the guest house".

I sat on pins and needles for over half an hour. The phone rings and I hear a strong Ethiopian accent shout into the phone "Calling from Ethiopia. Speak up!".

We went through. Court is successfully done. After all the travel, money, exhaustion, five hours of waiting at the courthouse, Lyle's two minutes before the judge are complete and rewarding. It was worth it! Lyle is headed for lunch and then will be meeting our daughter. Now we lift up our thanks to God.

MOWA is twenty days behind on their cases. So we shall see what God's timing is from here.

Lyle's Gone For Court

2011-07-23T18:19:00.000-06:00

Lyle left for Ethiopia on Thursday [Jul 21'11]. I had next to no kids for the morning so I was able to take those I had to the airport with me. This meant I was able to drive Lyle myself, rather than having someone else go. It was good that Mikiyas and I could say by there, and I could be on standby should any of the bags be over weight. However, everything was allowed through and our scale at home still seems to match that of the airport. Other people in line weren't so lucky. In total, the donations amounted to 93.6 lbs, and we are so thankful for everyone who contributed the various items.

Lyle arrived in Ethiopia about 24 hours later. It was Friday night for him. After the various airport line ups, he arrived safely at the guest house and slept. His Saturday was spent shopping with other families he was staying with. I finally was able to speak to him today [our Saturday noon and his Saturday bed time]. He said he bought A LOT of things, mainly keeping in mind the things we are providing to HOPE International for the fundraising dinner in October. The families also attended the National Museum. This will be something he'll repeat on our next trip as we'd like to take Mikiyas there.

His Sunday he is off to the Portuguese Bridge two hours outside the city. It is apparently fascinating and will be a repeated trip when we go to pick up Mihret. He will likely spend tomorrow evening visiting our dear friend Robel. It has been too long since we've last visited.

So all is going well. We miss him and wish desperately we could be there with him. It is hard being the mom to our soon-to-be-daughter and not being able to meet her or attend the court. It is hard to not be part of what Lyle is doing. The one joy of having the bed to myself was stolen by the cat, the dog and Mikiyas. It seems everyone misses having Lyle home.

The one thing Lyle stressed on the phone today was the overwhelming amount of donations the foster home receives. It appears they are inundated with items. This is not always the case but with the extra trips for court, they are now receiving double loads. So, we will be revamping our donation plans for the big trip we hope to take soon.

Thank you for your continued prayers. I hope to be sharing wonderful news of court in a few days!

Court Closure

2011-07-15T11:51:00.000-06:00

Court closure dates in Ethiopia for 2011 have been released. The Ethiopian Court be closed from August 8 to September 19 for the rainy season.

The dates could change slightly as it is based on Ethiopia's rainy season.

I Learned Something New:

2011-07-11T14:29:00.000-06:00

Apparently the reason Mikiyas gets tired in the afternoons is because it's past his bedtime in Ethiopia.

Calgary Metro News

2011-06-28T14:31:00.001-06:00

Boy, 6, wants to bring clean water to Ethiopia

Katie Turner/Metro

Mikiyas Hatton, 6, wants to prevent kids from dying from

unsanitary water in his home country of Ethiopia.

KATIE TURNER

METRO CALGARY

Published: June 28, 2011

Mikiyas Hatton may be young, but he knew from the age of four that he wanted to help children in his home country of Ethiopia.

Sheri Hatton, Mikiyas’s adopted mom, said she and her husband, Lyle, took their son to a fundraiser for HOPE International two years ago and something stuck with him.

“I said we need to go help them and we need to go help the kids,” said Mikiyas, now 6.

“For the next month he hounded me,” explained Sheri, adding Mikiyas wanted to send their tap water from Airdrie to Ethiopia.

“I was proud that he cared for people back home,” said Lyle. “He does have a compassionate heart, and it’s nice to see him act upon it.”

Shortly after, Sheri said she looked in to partnering with HOPE International to raise $25,000 for a water system for an entire village.

“I went to him and said, ‘This is what we’re going to do because of you,’ and he started crying,” said Sheri of her son’s reaction. “He said, ‘We’re superheroes.’”

Since then, the Hatton’s have raised nearly $17,000 through fundraising and HOPE has gone ahead with sponsoring the permanent water system.

The family will travel to Ethiopia this winter to bring home their adopted daughter Mihret, and potentially visit the village they’ve helped bring life to.

Court Soon To Be In Session

2011-06-24T13:25:00.000-06:00

Caller ID can be an evil thing. When the phone rings and you have Caller ID, you naturally look at it before answering. You can choose to answer it or let it go to a message. When you're waiting days on end of good news, your stomach automatically does a flip when the Caller ID shows their name.

The phone rang and I glanced. My stomach did a flip and I answered with a ... nothing. Nothing came out of my mouth for the first 5 seconds. I finally spurted out a hello. She replied hi back and gave her name. I said "you must have a court date for me". Indeed, she did. I then informed her that my stomach did a flip and she must call more often to alleviate me from getting sick every time they phone me.

Court will happen on July 25. Given the time change, we will actually be asleep while Lyle attends court. Okay, the rest of the world will be asleep. I likely won't be either.

So there we have it ... court is July 25. We are delighted. I actually seemed more excited about court than when I received the referral call!

The court closures will still affect us, but not as bad. They will affect us because after the Judge approves us as parents, MOWA [Ministry of Women's Affairs] has to approve us. They do 1 to 4 weeks after court when they're behind, which they are now. Then the court will process their approval. When MOWA's approval goes through, however, court will be closed and our file will wait until they return after September.

There is still hope of a December arrival, but we must also prepare our hearts that it can be in the New Year of 2012.

What Are We Waiting For?

2011-06-18T09:24:00.000-06:00

We are waiting for court. We are waiting for news that Lyle needs to go to Ethiopia by himself to stand before a judge and be told that we can be Mihret's parents.

It is approximately 4-5 months post referral that parents will attend court. We received our referral in March so court could be July or August.

You generally get 3-5 weeks notice of court. So we could be assigned a court date any day.

However, if we don't get a court date assigned very quickly now, we will have to wait through court closures, which occur for August and September. (Wouldn't it be weird if our courts closed for two months to celebrate New Years?!)

That means we need to be assigned our court date right away to fall into the timeline of traveling in 3-5 weeks before the closure occurs. Only July works because in August they're usually closed.

Our second choice is to be assigned a court date ASAP so that it happens right after courts open in October. If not, we have to wait for courts to open and then be assigned a date for another 3-5 weeks after that.

Travel for pick up occurs 4-5 months post court. If we get a July court date, we could possibly bring Mihret home for Christmas. If we get an October court date that could possibly mean pick up in February or March. And so on and so forth. You can do the math from there.

So, let's all pray for a court date to be assigned ASAP!

*The time estimates have been provided by CAFAC, however, they are all best case time frames. Sometimes paper work glitches, bureaucracy etc can cause further delays.

Pregnancy vs. Adoption

2011-06-01T14:28:00.001-06:00

Not too long ago a friend had asked me how I was handling the referral news. When she was expecting her second child it was overwhelming at times. A big adjustment to think about. It can throw your mind in a muddle knowing that 9 months later you'd be having a second child running around. She had asked if I had accepted the reality yet; whether I was out of sorts in my mind with the news.

A lot of answers rolled through my head. None of them did I really expect her to fully grasp from my perspective. I did tell her that things can happen in different timings during the adoption process. People often attach to their child at different stages simply because the process is much longer than nine months.

Accepting the fact that I had a daughter was never an issue for me. I've always known that I have had one. We have never said "when we have one" or "if we have one". We've also said "we have a daughter in Ethiopia right now" when having to discuss our family. We've always had a daughter; Mikiyas has always had a sister. She just isn't home. So the news that we have a daughter was not shocking. It was not overwhelming. It did not make me feel out of sorts knowing that I'd be having another child enter my home. It was a fact we already knew. Perhaps that is why I didn't freak out when we got our referral. Why I was so calm.

We have been on this journey for three and a half years now. The news that we have a daughter is nothing new; it's not a surprise. The only difference at this point is that we have a name and a photograph. We now know a little more information about our daughter we've always had.

Attaching to her? It is different. I can say that I am attached to this beautiful little girl. I'm loving her more each day. I'm accepting her and embracing the reality that she will be home. Bonding and deep attachment will come and grow as we spend each and every day with her.

So things happen in different timing. But to compare adoption and pregnancy, I think of it like this:

Starting the adoption process is like finding out you are already expecting. The excitement and joy in knowing that you are now going to have a new child is in full force. Yahoo!

Once you receive your referral it's like having your first ultra sound and seeing your baby growing. The true reality and butterflies come. But you already knew you were pregnant. Now it's just that much more real. It just takes much, MUCH longer to reach that "ultrasound / referral stage" for adoptive families.

Waiting for court to make you the legal parents of your expected child is like waiting through the first trimester. Confirmation that it "stuck"; that the danger period is over. You're now safe to tell all the other people you haven't already told. You're now able to say with confidence "I AM EXPECTING". And you can even feel confident in telling the approximate due date. Of course, even pregnancy due dates can be off. Kids can be early or late.

Traveling hours on end to a third world country, embracing a new culture, language, food, people etc. is called labor. Contractions can be painful as you go through multiple security checks and lack of sleep and continue to complete mounds of paper work.

Coming home with a huge amount of jet lag and a child that doesn't know you, the house, the food, the smells, the pets, the voices, the language .... that's like coming home from the hospital. It isn't much different. And even if the adopted child is not a newborn, it sure isn't easy. Mikiyas was almost three and I had months of sleepless nights. Different reasonings than a newborn but same results. What can be different is the view outsiders have: the adopted child isn't newborn so there's no need to offer help cleaning or meals or coming by so mom can have a nap. No matter the age, the process and being home with a brand new child is exhausting.

So is pregnancy and adoption much different? Yes and no. All depends on how you look at it.

Confession Monday: Tuesday Edition

2011-05-31T07:24:00.001-06:00

I confess that...

... I'm not near my computer enough to even do blog posts. My blackberry works for email, facebook [for the most part] and twitter that unless I have work to do, I'm not at my computer. And when it's work time, I've usually only made enough time to get the work done and therefore can't do the extras, like blog posts.

... last night I may have ear-witnessed a car theft. I woke Lyle up and we both jumped to the window but saw nothing as they'd already vanished. Very loud truck followed by a car alarm that managed to fade quickly as if being driven away.

... we went camping in Drumheller for the May long weekend. As we were packing up we had to call 911 as the man across from us was abusing his son. It was an older boy, maybe twelve. It was heart-breaking.

... Mikiyas finished grade one two weeks ago. He doesn't know yet. I've been giving him extra things to do so he doesn't distract the preschoolers while they do their activities.

... I received a most beautiful and heart-felt surprise from a friend the other day. It shocked me to say the least. This friend and I do business together and there's always that feeling of "I need to do something in return". Receiving this gift really made me realize even more that we're not just business friends, but really, truly friends.

... we went for Ethiopian on the weekend for a birthday dinner for Lyle. It really made me miss Ethiopia and it's culture. I can't wait to go back. Maybe another 10 months??

... this morning Mikiyas said he really wants his sister home. I thought that was sweet. But then he followed it up with "so we can get my brother home after".

... we've been enjoying the friendship of someone out here. We don't see each other near enough. But the friendship reminds me of a friend in BC. They are nothing alike and have nothing in common, but the type of friendship reminds me of a BC friend. I've missed that type of friendship.

... I've learned just how much the way I raise my son is watched because of dayhome. I feel like I will never be able to raise my son correctly. That every time something is done wrong or simply because he's a 6-year-old boy, judgement is made. I suspected it was happening, but really hearing it from the horse's mouth made me cringe. Now I feel like I'm under a microscope, and Mikiyas even more, when we're around them. I feel like I need him to be perfect around them, and not just a 6-year-old boy. My job has brought this pressure and I don't like it. But, I've know in my heart and in my mind that I can't let that negative attention happen so I'm trying my best to ignore it. He has every right to be a 6-year-old boy learning the ways of life, just like everyone else, regardless of my job.

... while walking through a large store recently, someone asked if there was no school as Mikiyas was with me. He said he is homeschooled. The horror on the woman's face was priceless as she stammered out "Adopted and homeschooled? You really are screwing this one up.". Next time, freedom of speech may be followed by a fist but I was too stunned to move that quickly.

... I received an awesome [and very expensive] hand-me-down gift from a cousin on Lyle's side. It was nice to finally meet her as we've only known each other on facebook. And it was so wonderful receiving a Chariot bike wagon. Considering she was offered a lot of money for it, and she chose to give it to us, really meant a lot!

... we have an ant farm and a worm farm in our kitchen. Here's hoping they don't escape!

Confession Monday

2011-05-09T19:01:00.000-06:00

I confess that ...

... I've never been a runner. I have exercised induced asthma that has limited my running since junior high.

... I ran today so fast I shocked myself and my shoes.

... I didn't die.

... I only ran a short ways.

... a retriever of some sort almost lost his life today after it bee-lined across a field and took out Mikiyas while he was riding his brand new bike.

... although it was not an off-leash area, and the retriever was off-leash, I bent down and unhooked my dog's leash so he could go be the protective, loyal pet she is to Mikiyas around the retriever.

... my dog is incredibly fast.

... my dog can scare off big dogs.

... although a stranger spoke to Mikiyas, I am glad the landscaper of the area happened to be very close to Mikiyas and assisted him.

... I love my son's bike helmet. He hit his head on the cement pathway. If not for the helmet, we would have been calling 911.

... I believe I may need to buy a new helmet. Are helmets like car seats? Only good for one crash.

... I am really hoping my husband can fix Mikiyas' bike. It's brand new and although a good deal, it's not like we have cash growing in the garden to pay for extra repairs. The teenager with the loose dog apologized and got out before I was done checking over Mikiyas. I didn't check the bike before he left because Mikiyas was more important.

... all other confessions have been forgotten as my mind is still thinking of the crazy dog / son / bike collision.

... I will end with this confession: I have been a very moody-out-of-my-mind woman the last week. I think my mom needs to come back for a visit.

Need I Say More? No.

2011-05-03T18:30:00.000-06:00

"I mourn the loss of thousands of precious lives, but I will not rejoice in the death of one, not even an enemy. Returning hate for hate multiplies hate, adding deeper darkness to a night already devoid of stars. Darkness cannot drive out darkness: only light can do that. Hate cannot drive out hate: only love can do that." ~ Martin Luther King, Jr.

Confession Monday

2011-05-02T10:38:00.000-06:00

I confess that...

... We received a photo update of Mihret last week. She looks much healthier.

... I managed to drive to and from 100 Mile House for Easter weekend with Mikiyas and I didn't fall asleep while doing so. Miracles do happen!

... Easter candy is becoming an enemy of mine. We bought Mikiyas one thing. Everyone else bought him loads. I wish he would eat it so I don't want to. He keeps telling me to eat it, and although I've managed to restrain thus far, because I'm eating all my own, I will run out soon.

... I should really throw out his Halloween candy now. He never even finished the ten pieces he chose from the bucket, let alone all the rest he got.

... As much as it is good news that Osama is not personally a threat anymore, I'm not thrilled about his death. I'm not one of the ones partying and shouting for joy. Now I'm just wondering how much retaliation his followers will bring on. And honestly, no matter the crime, since when do we celebrate a person's death?

... I find it interesting that Osama's death is the anniversary of "Mission Accomplished" and also the day it went public that Hitler had died the day prior.

... I was more nervous than Mikiyas was at his Taekwondo test on Friday. Tonight he will hopefully receive his next belt at the presentation ceremony.

... I was appalled to see an 18 month old child watching a full on action flick at the theater the other day. Every time gun fire went off, he screamed. Babysitting is expensive, but children should be trumping entertainment. Parents: take the hint and leave!

... I have a full To Do list today and I better get on it. It includes another long drive to the dental surgeon for my 5 minute check on the implant. Ugh!

... I have to book an eye appointment. Receiving a boomerang in the eye last week was not the best thing for me.

... I no longer fear potty training. I have 3 2-year-olds potty training in my house right now.

Third Day Continues to Rock!

2011-04-19T21:27:00.000-06:00

Saw this on another blog. I've always enjoyed this song but had not seen the video. The video speaks volumes. Love it!

Confession Monday

2011-04-18T17:09:00.000-06:00

I confess that ...

... I don't know what to post about today. I can't come up with anything. I am sure I have many things to "confess" as I'm not perfect, but I just can't think of things to type here.

... hmm ... I'm packing.

... I'm looking forward to Easter weekend.

... I'm already enjoying Easter candy.

... I loved watching the new movie "Rio" yesterday. I really enjoyed being able to confirm with Mikiyas that he figured out the boy at the end of the movie was adopted by the couple. Another inter-racial adoption to celebrate!

... I'm looking forward to Easter Egg Hunts.

... I still hesitate a little with accepting Mihret as my daughter. It's not legal. I was much further along in the accepting stage when Mikiyas' referral came. From the moment I received the referral I accepted and KNEW he was my son. With Mihret, I'm a little more hesitant. I've seen a lot more adoptions fall through over the past few years. People have lost referrals due to health, biological family coming forward etc. I kind of feel like I did during two of my pregnancies following a miscarriage. I'm a little nervous to attach in case it goes awry. I want her to be my daughter. Trust me, I do. I just feel hesitant to tattoo it until it's legal. :)

... Yes, it'll be tattooed.

What Do You Get When ...

2011-04-14T08:34:00.003-06:00

Let me begin by saying I wasn't going to post about this at all, especially on the public blog. I changed my mind though. When I originally started the blog oh-so-many years ago, I hoped that I'd not only keep our family and friends up-to-date with things, but also help people learn more as there wasn't always enough information out there. I was one of a handful of blogs out there in the beginning. Of course, times have changed and there's a million blog resources out there now.

So this morning when I was pondering on whether to share, I was reminded of continuing to use what we go through to help others. Even without going into specifics on some things, it can be done. I find a lot of times, once children are home, blogs go private or those that remain public focus on the wonderful things that happen. I put our blog private and shared A LOT about some of the trials we went through after Mikiyas came home. People relished in the honesty and realization that it ain't always easy. And that they weren't alone.

I decided to do this post public, without a ton of specifics, to remind people to be prepared. And that once the child is home, it doesn't mean the journey is over. It's life long. It's happy and joyous, and sometimes quite painful. Also, I know that Mikiyas has a HUGE heart of gold. He has a teaching instinct built into his mind. He is overflowing with compassion. I know that if we share enough to help one person, he is comfortable with the embarrassment of people knowing. So no, I'm not a terrible mother sharing the privacy of my son.

But, for all you waiting parents, not every adoptive family goes through this either. Some children are affected in no way. Some are affected differently. Each child is unique.

So, what do you get when ...

... it's the month before your Gotchya Day anniversary and your sub-conscious works overtime. You don't know what to do with the emotions that come from nowhere. One area of your life regresses back into a toddler stage. Every year it's the same, but you still catch everyone by surprise, including yourself. You don't know what your mind is going through. Your body confuses you. You're unsure how to verbalize.

... your family gets a referral for a new sister. You are over the moon excited, but right now? At the same time you are already confused about your own situation? Life needs to be about you right now. More questions arise. The waiting isn't helping. Why is mom always doing adoption papers all of a sudden? Why is she complaining about the bank? She has a different Ethiopia mommy? Why? What happened?

... these two crazy things are making me think about my Ethiopia family. All the questions. All these new thoughts. All these crazy feelings.

You get Mikiyas. You get our son expressing some rage. You hear very hurtful words come from his mouth that you know he doesn't mean. You know it's not personal. You know come morning it will all be as if it didn't happen. You deal with it as best as you can. As much as you want to get angry back and yell and cry and let him know just how much it hurts, you don't. You take a deep breath and talk in the calmest way you can. You share love. And you be patient. So much patience. You wait for him to let it out and be ready to listen to your own loving words. You wait for him to allow you to hold him and accept everything you have to offer. And you never, ever blame.

And then you wait for it to happen again. Maybe tomorrow. Maybe next week. Maybe this year's pain is over and it's done until next anniversary. But you hope it never comes back. But you wait, just in case.

I share this, not looking for sympathy. I share this, in hopes that you other parents going through things like this privately, may know that you are not alone. You are not a horrible parent. You are not doing a bad job raising your child. Your child is not evil. It just happens to some of us. And, as all things work for the good to those who believe, amazing things will come from this. It will make you and your child stronger. It may just be the thing that allows your child to be a very gifted person in a different way from somebody else.

When I was young, I went through something very crappy. I never understood why. I tried to figure out why I deserved it. Many years later I was working on the streets of Vancouver with homeless teens. No one could reach this one girl. I finally grasped and told her of this thing in my life. She finally grabbed on for help. And she went home, to her family. My story was never told again. But I knew at that moment that had I not gone through it, I wouldn't have reached her deep down where she needed it. And, for me, it made my pain worth it. I can only hope and pray that Mikiyas' pain and hurt will be part of what continues to mold him into the most compassionate child I've ever met.

Mikiyas and His Adorable Mail

2011-04-13T14:26:00.002-06:00

Mikiyas is really starting to enjoy checking the mail. He seems to rake in such wonders. Today, he got the mail and we were all surprised to find an exciting package. Some very special friends sent him and Mihret a present. After opening it, he said "I really can't wait for her to come home now! I want to wear my new T-shirt!!".

Thanks friends. You guys know just the perfect things.

I finally got some fun mail too. Not just bills, although there was another adoption bill in the bundle today too. Thanks to some very important twins from BC for my froggy card. How did you know that we were looking at the life cycle of a frog for science? So thoughtful.

Confession Monday

2011-04-11T10:20:00.000-06:00

I confess that ...

... after seeing just how much we spend in a year on haircuts [and we don't pay a dime for Mikiyas'], I actually wondered if I should go back to school to become a hairdresser. Ridiculous. And we don't even go to one of those fancy smancy salons. Nor do I dye my hair.

... I am really looking forward to Easter weekend. So is Mikiyas!

... I think I like Ethiopian food more than Canadian.

... I sent off all our paperwork and LOADS of dollars to CAFAC on Saturday.

... I have a fear of losing my cat, Sandi, now that I've already lost Carmin. I need to call the vet about her eye but I'm nervous I'll get bad news.

... I need April to be over.

... I am still in my pajamas trying to be motivated at 10:00am. I need to get a move on things before the day is wasted!

... I used to parent quite well without yelling at all. Over the last year I've become a parent who yells. Not all the time but definitely enough that I feel guilty and hate myself for it. Mikiyas let's it go, but I don't. I need to. And I need to go back to the way it was. Habits are hard to break!

... I look forward to when my dog is a little older. I'm hoping she'll be a little easier to walk. But I am sure enjoying the walks I am getting in with her now that the weather is getting nicer. I've been trying to go for an hour every evening. Her and I both love it.

... I still have bought nothing for Mihret. I am so proud.

Passport Delivered

2011-04-07T13:39:00.000-06:00

Our Canada Post lady is becoming a favorite of mine. She was delighted to bring to us a third passport envelope today. Yes, Mikiyas' passport came and we are quite happy about this. No hiccups. No long drawn out explanations. No struggles. No frustrations.

Finally, a government document that came without a problem! And quickly too!

Congratulations to Us!

2011-04-05T06:30:00.000-06:00

Yesterday we received our very first baby card for Mihret from my brother and sister-in-law.

Last week we received a Groovy Girls doll for Mihret from my dear friend.

Thanks guys! It brings us excitement in knowing you're excited too.

Confession Monday

2011-04-04T10:10:00.000-06:00

I confess that...

... today is my first Monday off work in a long time and I'm loving every moment of it. However, my body decided that it would wake up at the normal designated time. Had I set my alarm and had to work, I'd not been able to pull myself out of bed. Why do we always do that?

... I didn't do a confessional last Monday because, ironically enough, as my last Monday of work I was maxed out with a house FULL of children, instead of the usual one. I also had to do all our referral acceptance signing and phone calls.

... I felt guilty for a few days after the referral. I didn't cry or get freaky excited like I did with Mikiyas' referral. I kept thinking of all the referral stories out there and how I was so calm and complacent. Also didn't help my guilt that the first thought in my mind was "Crap - potty training" when I heard her age.

... I considered that my subconscious was actually feeling a little bothered by the adoption, without me having any idea. Duh - that's what subconscious means right? This week I have had a renewed feeling towards my dayhome / preschool program. But that could also come from knowing I no longer work Mondays! I really do think it's the latter. I only said I considered the former.

... I've been posting five things I'm grateful for each day on Twitter. It's fun. I usually think of so many things now, but at the same time, my first instinct is to always post the same, more obvious things. There's many things to be thankful for and I forcing myself to look past the obvious continues to teach me about the huge amount of things we really do have to be thankful for.

... Mikiyas and I may both be starting piano lessons. I've always dreamed of learning to play. Mikiyas has always wanted to but, still being a child, we will see if that leads beyond a few months of plunking away.

... I'm jealous of how much fun mail Mikiyas gets. I get crap.

... I almost booked a trip to Disneyland. We would love SO much to give that to Mikiyas as part of his final months of being an only child. As part of his final years without a little sibling following him around, or limiting what rides he could go on. He's, of course, never been. But hitting the next step in the adoption definitely calls for more funds. We didn't book the trip. If anyone happens to win the lottery and wants to send us, feel free.

... I typed some of this on an iPad just to see what it'd be like to type on.

... I had quite a laugh when I ended up buying a size 0 pants at one store followed by a size 8 pants at a store just down the hall last week. One store makes you feel very good, while the other depresses you. I laughed further when I found out the store with size 0 also has size 00.

... I feel guilty every time I hear of just how much people incorporate organic and natural items into their homes, especially people who do everything organic. I do some things but I can't afford to do it all, nor do I understand all the ingredients on labels. And no I don't have time to start researching and memorizing what the ingredients mean. I'd need to walk around a store with a computer to look each thing up. Can you imagine how long it would take me to buy all my groceries!? I'm just thankful our family has food.

Mail Bag

2011-04-01T16:16:00.000-06:00

Today we actually had mail delivered to the door. This never happens here as everything goes to the mail box down the street. The lady said that it seemed I was extra important today as I had four registered mail items, all requiring signatures. Normally signatures mean a trip to the post office. She was being extra nice!

We received our Letter or No Objection from the Government of Alberta. Seriously, I had not heard of that office doing anything quickly. Maybe some sucking up is happening since they had lost our file during our home study update.

We also received all the Referral Acceptance papers from CAFAC. These are different than Monday's acceptance papers done for the Province.

In addition, Lyle and I both received our new passports. Until I get Mikiyas' passport, I won't completely relax about this subject. The charge has gone through on the credit card but, I'm still expecting something to go wrong.

So the mail was triumphantly successful today. I am pleased.

Update: Health and Name

2011-03-30T20:42:00.002-06:00

HEALTH:

Today we received some updated news on how Mihret is doing. She has gained weight, shrunk in length [obviously a measurement error somewhere], and chest and head have grown as well. Her respiratory infection / pneumonia is completely clear. They are going to still do the iron test for us to see if numbers have increased.

In addition, her development is moving along. She's smiling at caregivers, starting on more solid food, rolling around and sitting up with support. Mihret is doing wonderfully.

That about sums it up.

NAME:

We have decided to pronounce Mihret's name as what CAFAC has been calling her in Ethiopia. She will be most used to that when we embrace her, and it is easier for all you Westerners that can't roll your tongue. It will also be easier for kids to pronounce. So here it is:

Mih as in mirror. Not Me as in melt. Not Mi as in Mike.

Ret as in retribution. Not Ret as in return.

Hopefully that helps. Mikiyas will continue to pronounce it the "Mi-he-ret" way, with a beautiful roll of the tongue that comes so naturally to him. He wasn't impressed that we decided to do it the way we are until I pointed out that everyone calls him Miki, which is a shortened, easier way of saying Mikiyas. And we did not change any spelling or take away how it is pronounced in Ethiopia. We just did it the easier of the two ways. Mikiyas is slowly accepting this.

Referral Story

2011-03-29T13:41:00.000-06:00

Question 11 - for Sharla: Are you going to tell us more about the day you got THE CALL?

Well the story isn't too fancy. Nothing epic to say the least. I had the dayhome going full swing. Lyle was at work and Mikiyas was upstairs playing with his friend. I was talking with one of the moms as she was at the house picking up her children. The phone rang with an unknown name on the caller ID. Just a phone number. I assumed it was another mom calling about pick up times.

As soon as the caller said her name and where she was calling from I knew what it was about. Why else would we get a random call from them. Aside from that, do you remember me posting on my February 27, 2011 Confessional that I received some wonderful words regarding our adoption? "... something special was said by someone I hardly know. But this something made me excited about our adoption again. It's amazing how just the right words, the most unexpected words, from an unknown person rather than those spoken to so often, can make a world of difference." Well, those words that were spoke were during prayer time. He said that we would receive our referral within the next 3 months. The neat thing about prophetic prayer is that he doesn't recall that he said that. So we've been expecting a call to come.

The social worker simply asked if she could come over an hour later to go over a child proposal. I said "Really?!". That was it. When I was on the phone with the SW, the mom that was here quickly caught on to my side of the conversation. She had tears while I calmly spoke. I was told nothing over the phone, other than prying out of her that it was for one child, not two. I wanted to know that much so I could prepare Mikiyas. We had never really spoken to him much about the possibility of two kids coming. If necessary, I needed time to prepare him before the SW came to the house.

I called Lyle right away to ask him to come home right after work - scheduled time - rather than staying a little late as he often does. He asked if everything was okay and I said "the SW is coming - understand?" and he did.

Meanwhile, the mom was still here, asking lots of questions. She didn't understand why I was so calm when she was so emotional. Other moms were coming to pick up kids too so she composed herself and left knowing to keep it quiet until otherwise told.

One mom was here when Lyle got home. She asked right away why he was here so early. She thought it odd and I said "family time tonight".

The house was immaculately clean as, oddly enough, I spent the morning doing an overhaul. Emptying closets, the pantry, boot room and reorganizing and cleaning. Vacuuming, dusting .... obviously I was nesting.

Lyle and I didn't say much to each other. Just sat around waiting for the SW, who was 15 minutes later than expected. We warned Mikiyas he'd be missing Taekwondo as we would be with the SW. He was fine. As soon as she sat down at our table, he accosted her for photos. Usually she leaves those to the end, but she gave them to him first given his demand. Lyle did most of the talking with her about medical etc. I spent my time staring at her age and name. The age shocked us and the first thing I said was "I might not be missing potty training with this one." I had my laptop ready to find the name meaning.

That about sums it up. We ended the meeting with the social worker asking questions about the next adoption. Yes, we are weird.

A Little More Detail Please?

2011-03-28T09:47:00.000-06:00

So the brief tidbit about the referral is out. You got the important stuff. Now for a little more detail sicne the questions are rolling in.

1. Is she healthy?

Yes, Mihret is healthy. She will have the usual parasites going through her system and malnourishment. In addition, she has had a bout with pneumonia, likely when she was about two months old. The lab work we have is from when she was recovering so it shows a high white blood count and very low iron. Requests for current lab work has been done. With low iron, which is not really a result of pneumonia, can indicate a trait called Thalassemia so we need to know if the low iron was from something else underlying that has passed, or if it's a long term thing. A new lab report will tell us if the iron has built back up with the iron supplements she is on. At the time she was recovering from pneumonia, she was quite malnourished too so her weight was just under the 3 percentile. Her height was at the 97 percentile. Long and lean. The pictures we received show her at 7 months old so it's obvious she's gained weight and gotten much healthier. New measurements have been requested as well. In short, nothing crazy or unusual. She's a healthy little girl.

2. Did we expect so young?

Absolutely not. Having quite an open age range, we expected an older child as a higher number of people request younger than older. There are a higher number of young ones being placed as of late, and it is suspected that it is because of the failing economy and people have to relinquish sooner.

3. How are we staying so calm?

This seems to be a very common question. We just are. We have about another year to go before we get her. It's been three and half years so far. We've learned patience. Plus we've been through this before so we know that freaking out and wanting her tomorrow will get us nowhere except depressed.

4. Have we been shopping?

No. And we won't be for a long time. We learned our lesson with Mikiyas. We'll get what we need to get started before she comes home, but a lot of things we'll get once she is here.

5. When do we get her?

Optimistically, ten to twelve months. With the recent news of MOWA cutting back their processing of files by 90%, no one has felt the effects of that taking place yet. CAFAC advised me this morning that MOWA works the files about two weeks before the parent court date. It's such a recent decision that they don't know how much of a delay will be caused. Right now, the parent court dates happen three to five months post referral. That could change and then make the whole post-referral process longer than ten to twelve months. We shall see.

6. Is Mikiyas excited?

Beyond excited. He was shaking with excitement. But he knows it's a long wait yet and he is content.

7. Will we be fundraising to help with our adoption costs?

We are undecided. Although it would be helpful, there are many other causes and people that need more than we do.

8. Will we make her name easier to say, or as some people say it, "What are you doing with that"?

Mihret can be pronounced two different ways. Most commonly, it is Mih-he-ret, with a slight roll of the tongue on ret. The other way is Mir-ret, like it is spelled, also with a slight roll. CAFAC has been calling her Mir-ret so that will likely be what she will be used to. We've also been considering calling her a shortened version, just like Miki is short for Mikiyas. We are not fully decided on it, but will get back to you.

9. What happened to her parents? or Why was she placed for adoption?

As it was / is with Mikiyas, we will not be sharing the personal details of the kids' adoption stories. It is their story, some of which they don't fully know or fully understand. When they understand it and are ready to share it, then it can be their decision to tell you.

10. Are they brother and sister?

Because I know what the question means, I will say that they are not biologically related. But to answer the question as stated, YES. And once everything is legal, that will be the only way we answer the question as stated.

Referral News!!

2011-03-25T19:24:00.000-06:00

Our referral came today. My cousin's birthday is today too. I'm sure I'll never forget her birthday now knowing that March 25, 2011 is the day we received the referral.

Someone asked me how come I was so calm. We are calm. Our house is calm. It has been busy with phone calls and emails since the social worker left about an hour ago so we're celebrating with macaroni and cheese with hotdogs. Not exactly the celebratory dinner. It's quick and easy.

We're beyond excited. We're happy. We're delighted. But we're calm and just going on about the night as normal. After waiting 3 1/2 years the reality of actually receiving a referral hasn't fully set in. It will.

She is beautiful. She looks so much like Mikiyas, although her curly hair isn't nearly as tight as Mikiyas'. She is 7 months old. Much younger than we expected as we asked for under 3 years and usually referrals come through at the higher end of the age request. So the age is a surprise.

She is stunning. She's healthy, cute and has a beautiful name.

When we started Mikiyas' adoption, I always felt that we would end up with a child filled with compassion. And boy - did that become reality!! Since we started this adoption, I always felt that our little girl would be filled with grace. Her given name suits her well. Mihret [meaning forgiveness]. We have given her her middle name: Desta [meaning joy].

In short: We welcome to our hearts [and one day our house] Mihret Desta. And we are so blessed and in love with her beauty.

Another Primetime: What Would You Say?

2011-03-24T11:17:00.000-06:00

The other day I finally got around to watching another episode of Primetime: What Would You Say?. It aired February 25.

It was about two friends meeting for lunch. One of the friends showed up with her newly adopted daughter [probably age 5 or 6]. When it's two black women, it's a white daughter. When it's two white women, it's a black daughter.

The friend was horrified to see her friend having adopted a child of the opposite race. Remember, these are actors. The show is to see if / how bystanders in the restaurant will respond. The friend was loud, obnoxious and played the part well. Well enough that it made me angry, mainly because it recalled feelings of how I've felt when some people have said rude or obnoxious things to me.

What was said a couple of times from both black and white people was: "Blackbirds stay with blackbirds, doves stay with doves."

What was nice is seeing some real people defending the adoptions. Even one lady said she wouldn't do it, and that races should stay together, however, the friend should be supportive regardless. One gentleman said one of his sons is from his wife's previous marriage and he is black. He was very supportive and gave a lot of encouragement.

Passports

2011-03-23T12:37:00.000-06:00

About two weeks ago I sent in our passport applications. I mailed them. A part of me was nervous given Mikiyas' DOB issues in the past, but since it was all legal now I was hoping that I could try something the way a normal person might. Complete an application, provide credit card information and pop it in the mail.

Today I get a phone call. I see the call display as "Passport Canada" and I cringe. "Crap! I guess it wasn't going to be an easy task." is what ran through my head.

But alas! The man simply wanted to confirm the city in Ethiopia Mikiyas was born in. Seriously? That's it? Could it be? He thanked me and advised that we should have his passport in the next ten to twenty days.

In the almost four years we've had Mikiyas, a government application was FINALLY easy. Hallelujah! That was easier than soccer registration.

Confession Monday

2011-03-21T19:56:00.000-06:00

I confess that ...

... I finally did some satisfying shopping over the last couple of weeks. My greatest find was done today. A pair of Scarpa shoes, regular 179.00. I bought them for 39.00. So cozy!

... I had an absolute blast dressing up in green with fun hats and decorating the house for St. Patrick's Day. Days like that are so much better when there are kids involved. When Mikiyas was really young, days like St. Patrick's Day wasn't a big deal but now that he's a bit older, it's definitely fun to get into things. Dayhome kids help too.

... I have fallen in love with a new musical artist, Y*rum@. Thank you S for sharing his talent with me. It is very relaxing and the kids have enjoyed hearing play throughout the house too.

... I still love snow. But I am starting to wonder if we will have days this year without it. At least the -25 and colder weather seems to be done for a while. Apparently.

... I joined Twitter. Not really sure why. Lyle is on it and seems to have the most interesting tidbits of news and information. I'm on it now following a few people / companies. It is intriguing. Considering I don't watch the news, listen to the radio or read papers, I'm now more knowledgeable on current events.

... in learning of Mikiyas' very swollen tonsils today and the possibility of him having to have them removed, I became a little nervous. I had mine removed when I was four or five. My experience ended in a blood transfusion.

... I am over the moon proud of Mikiyas and how well he reads and how well his math is.

... after having a fabulous family day today, it made me so thankful that we are able to homeschool so Mikiyas can be part of adventures any day of the week.

Confession Monday

2011-03-14T17:48:00.000-06:00

Yup. It seems that I'm a Confession Monday kind of girl. Yes mom, I always have to be different. [:p this is me sticking my tongue out at you.] So, Confession Monday it is.

I confess that:

... after way too many hours with my head in the world of Tw*l*ght last weekend, I found myself going through withdrawal. After being consumed for hours on end with their lives, it was hard to not think about the books. They still appear when I'm dreaming, but at least they don't veer of story. Even my dreams are replaying the books perfectly. Ugh!

... I have found some new music that I am enjoying. It's a little different than what I'm used to, but I'm really enjoying it. Gr3g Scz3b3l and Just*n3 Allynn. Music plays in my house from 7:00 am until about 6:00 pm. I love it and needed something new.

... I've also been enjoying Tw*l*ght soundtracks. No, I'm not helping the withdrawal, I know.

... After spending last weekend reading that [do I dare type the word again?] series, I found it very hard to shift my mind to read N3lson M@nd3l@'s Conv3rs@tions with Mys3lf. I've gone from reading pages way too fast to reading the same page over and over again for days. I haven't made it past page one yet. Not that it's not a good book. I trust that it is. I've heard great things. I'm just not ready for the drastic transition of books quite yet.

... I've been enjoying moving furniture around and redecorating. Not really spending money doing it so that's a total bonus. I find I have to do this about once in a year. I enjoy change. I embrace change.

... I am confused as to what to do with photos. I haven't developed any photos in over two years now. Do I or don't I? I always like photo albums. Two years worth of developing is a lot of money followed by a lot of time putting in albums. Hmm...

... I loved taking my dog for a walk this afternoon. I was wonderful to do again. Our dear Pugsly has a condition with her leg. When it's below zero, her back legs locks up from the cold and she can't walk. One day she went out for a very quick pee in the backyard. She got stuck on the stairs coming back inside. She was just wailing. It's been a long winter of exercising her indoors in a small space.

... I worry that my son is growing up way too fast. I know. It sounds cliche and most moms feel that their kids grow up way too fast. But I'm actually concerned. His bedroom looks like a teenager lives there. Seriously, what are toys for? He even tends to his plant daily. His music taste is very adult-like. He's into cologne, trendy clothes and even deodorant. I seriously feel like I live with a teenager. His compassion for others is beyond most adults - this I love! He is honestly wise beyond his years. Does this mean he'll move out soon?

... I find it crazy that in two and a half months my son will be dine grade 1. Yup - we get three months of summer. The joy of homeschool!!

... I've eaten a granola bar and a cinnamon bun today. That's it. It's almost dinner time and I only had one child, plus my own today. Is this a sign of what my week will bring me? [No mom, I don't do this everyday!!]

... I love doing laundry. But I hate ironing. I try not to buy items [when we actually buy clothes!] that need ironing. I leave ironing to my aunt! I just wish she could live here and do mine for me. For now, we continue to wear the occasion wrinkled shirt.

... I'm proud of Lyle and his job. I just don't like his rotating schedule to include shifts where he doesn't get home until 6:30 pm.

... I received a phone call from a friend in BC today. It was pure joy. Thanks for calling! Miss you!

... it really sucks having to wait so long for your child through adoption. I feel that EVERY SINGLE DAY. But the other day I actually felt guilty for my mom. She's watched her brothers become grandpas over and over and over while she just waits.

... I had to remind myself that if I wasn't prepared to accept the adoption rollercoaster and the lengthy journey that goes with it, that we could have taken the easier route and had biological children. It's not just about getting any child from anywhere. It's about getting the specific child[ren] meant for our family from a specific place. It's about doing God's will, not the fastest or easiest route just for the sake of having children.

... my grumpy and emotional adoption days are pretty few and far between. Yes I think about how slow it is or that the newest country update is a real pain in the @$$, but I find the things rarely actually upset me. God is my strength.

Confession Monday

2011-03-07T17:31:00.001-07:00

Confession Monday. Maybe that works better for me. Fridays I'm usually too busy.

I confess that:

... I spent my weekend reading all four books of the Tw*l*ght series. All 2,444 pages. Yes, I did manage to still get cleaning, laundry, eating done. We even had dinner guests one evening, so I didn't completely negate my responsibilities.

... I am thankful to Lyle for giving me a most relaxing weekend of reading.

... I was not a ga-ga Tw*l*ght fan, but I did enjoy the movies. Now that I've read all the books, the movies aren't near as good. Perhaps I ruined the movies for myself.

... I stayed home reading which meant I didn't spend any money this weekend!

... I laughed hearing my son tell me that I didn't need to worry that there were many woman much prettier than me.

... my stomach is rather nauseous and I'm making a creamy celery and fennel soup from scratch. This means my already upset stomach is smelling black licorice [yech] and staring at a pot of bright green slop. Will I eat tonight?

... I read our Country Update today from CAFAC. I was upset enough that I felt like throwing in the towel. If not for the fact that we have put more than three years into this adoption already, I would! Good thing I felt quite relaxed when the email came. I could have made a very bad, spontaneous phone call out of anger.

Confession Friday, Late As Usual

2011-02-27T21:16:00.000-07:00

I confess that ...

... I haven't done this in a few weeks because I let my Fridays fly by in a flurry each week. Each Friday was filled to the brim.

... I spent February 18 trying to arrange a last minute trip to BC for Mikiyas and I since we had a long weekend. It didn't work out.

... I spent the morning of February 25 sitting in a dentist's chair freaking out. Again. At one point, I felt so much pain I had tears streaming down my face. I almost walked out, damn in place and all. Seriously, they think those damns are such wonderful things but they're not. I was ready to give them my definition for their "damn" things.

... I have given my notice to my clients that I will be taking Mondays off work again to focus better on Mikiyas himself, Mikiyas' schooling and Mikiyas' alone time with me. He shares me so much that he deserves to be a little more selfish in this area.

... I found a recipe for Ravioli Lasagna. I loved it so much I made it twice in one week. Quick, easy and delicious!

... we finally did Mikiyas' grade 1 school pictures. A few months late, but right on time when comparing to last years schedule. He was much harder to photograph this year than last. He tried so hard to do the perfect picture that in most takes he looked frightened or shocked.

... we finally did our passport photos and filled out applications. Soon we will each have a valid passport. Maybe one day we'll use them for travel!

... I love our passionate caregroup. Prayer time is so phenomenal. I'm so excited for growing with this group of people. And I'm so excited that it just so happens that there are others there from various countries of Africa. I can get help with hair!

... something special was said by someone I hardly know. But this something made me excited about our adoption again. It's amazing how just the right words, the most unexpected words, from an unknown person rather than those spoken to so often, can make a world of difference.

... my son fills me with so much pride that I feel like I'm bursting. Some how, in the same day, he can also fill me with an abounding amount of frustration and / or guilt.

... I love my husbands passion for serving others. He is inspiring. I love that God synchronized our passions to make an awesome team.

... my mom went on a vacation and I can't call her whenever I want to have my BFF chats. I'm missing her and want her to either get home or extend her vacation so it includes a visit to my house.

... I learned that I am a huge over achiever and it's okay for an over achiever to occasionally quit something when it benefits other areas of life. Shhh.... don't tell.

... after a long hiatus of reading due to busyness, I finally finished a book and have even started reading another one! Phew!

Confession Friday

2011-02-11T15:13:00.000-07:00

I confess that ...

... I took the shirt off my friend's back last week. Literally. I walked in her house, said nice shirt, and she immediately took it off and gave it to me. What a wonderful friend.

... I have natural highlights in my hair. It's called GREY!

... I'm no longer craving Coke and seem to be past the whole withdrawal thing. I've had Root Beer the past three days in a row. Umm, this isn't how it's supposed to work is it?

... I am feeling very frustrated about homeschool today. Mikiyas' schooling isn't lacking in the fact that he is learning, but I know that the process and the joy of it could be much better. I'm frustrated because we are not a family that can survive off of one income. I have to work. I'm working full time. This is not allowing me to concentrate better on his schooling. This is not allowing us to go to any homeschool activities during the week. This is not allowing us to even meet other homeschool families. This is frustrating.

... I use my Friday Confessionals as a way of doing mini blog posts all at once so I don't have to do them during the week to update my family.

... my dog smells like stale popcorn when she sleeps and I love it. I now call her popcorn just for fun.

... I love baking. I'm so glad my mom taught me while I was young.

... I love having a PVR probably more than I should.

... enjoyed playing Rock Band, after a 2 1/2 year hiatus. It's so fun watching Mikiyas and Lyle play drums together.

... I am delighted that after nine years of pain and being told by BC people one thing, I've finally been told by AB people that I have sciatica, the thing I always suspected I had but was told wrong. After nine years of not getting better, one night of a diagnosis and treatment gave me such amazing relief. It only took me being able to barely walk from the pain last night to finally get a diagnosis.

Oh My Gosh! Too Funny!

2011-02-07T07:02:00.000-07:00

Volkswagen Commercial

Confession Friday, Late Again

2011-02-06T12:21:00.000-07:00

I confess that...

... there was a whole lot of sickness in this house over the past week. Colds, flues, early onset pneumonia... I'm seriously shocked that our family has stayed healthy through it all.

... I don't enjoy walking down three flights of stairs to find a shirt to wear while the enormous hole in my closet apparently takes a week to fix. Tomorrow... tomorrow... maybe tomorrow... yeah, you keep saying that.

... although I'm so thankful that we have a bed to sleep on, I've grown a love-hate relationship with my bed. I'm tired of waking up with back pain.

... I also dislike bed shopping. Every bed feels better than the one I've got so how am I supposed to know which one to buy. There seems to be way too many choices these days.

... Valentine's Day is next week and although we usually don't do anything for Valentine's Day, we are this year. It's called buying a new bed!

... big thoughts have been moving through my mind regarding the future growth of our family. No, I will not share. You're lucky you now know that I even have thoughts moving.

... although it was hard hearing kids were sick last week and couldn't come to my house, I sure enjoyed being able to take Mikiyas out on a play date and have a terrific visit with a dear friend at her house for a change.

... after years of doing one, I didn't write out my two-week menu and grocery list when I should have. I did the menu a few days late and it was the oddest thing. I didn't handle not knowing what was for dinner very well.

... I will walk across the room or to the bottom/top of the stairs to flick the light switch rather than the one right beside me so that the light switch is up if on and down if off. It's a compulsion. The fact that there is a light switch installed upside down in my house still drives me bananas whenever I use that light.

... I dream of having a vacation almost daily. I'm praying that on Saturday night we win one. Maybe it'll be us that gets the draw prize. Maybe. Maybe. Maybe.

What Would You Say?

2011-01-29T08:21:00.002-07:00

Last night I watched this episode of Primetime: What Would You Say?. It was about bi-racial families. First, a black man with a white daughter was accosted by a white waiter in a cafe. Then the reversal of a white man with a black daughter. All five of those people were actors. What the test was, was how the people in the cafe seeing it happen would respond.

The black man was supported by both white and black onlookers. People were very upset that the white waiter would be so racist. They were disgusted. People were brought to tears and stood up for him, defending him until told it was for a TV show.

The white man was unsupported. Although the waiter was rude and very disrespectful, as he was with the black man, he was the one being supported. At two different times, 9-1-1 was called. The white man was doubted that the black daughter was his. There was a high level of fear among everyone that he was with a child not his own. No one accused the white waiter of racism, but rather supported the doubt that the child was his.

The responses from people were completely opposite. People felt so bad about the racism to the black man, but not the same thing for the white man. Granted, the personalities of each father were different; the white man coming across a bit more aggressive. But viewers seemed to see it more normal for the black man to have a white daughter than a white man to have a black daughter.

As the little girl put it at the end, it's good for people to see this "to tell people color just doesn't even matter".

It reminded me of a year and a half ago when Lyle was accosted when leaving a playground for kidnapping our son. White man with a black child. He was accused of kidnapping, taken to security, phone calls made, including to me. Mikiyas had to watch the whole thing.

Makes you think....

[Disclaimer: I use "white" and "black" for ease in typing the story; not meant out of disrespect for either Caucasian of African ...]

Confession Friday? Already? Crap!

2011-01-28T20:17:00.001-07:00

I confess that...

... it wasn't until I saw someone else's post about Confession Friday that I realized it was Friday and I needed to do mine.

... I felt pretty mentally crappy this week, but am over it now. At first I didn't know exactly what it was that was bothering me, besides "everything". Literally, everything seemed to be a bother to me and I couldn't figure out any particular reason for it. Then, it hit me. It was the realization that there is no boundary between my work life and my home life. There is no separation. Given my job I cook, clean and parent 24/7. As a stay-at-home mother, I would find this role more satisfying, rewarding and also have the ability to tell them to leave me alone / go play in your room / or take a lazy pajama day telling them to slack off and watch movies or something. As a child care provider, my parental and legal obligations do not allow that. I am a homeschool teacher to my son, and a teacher to many other children. Although not certified, I teach educational stuff, but more importantly, I teach life skills and social skills etc. Add to that the most annoying dog on earth this week, I felt overwhelmed. And because all this happens where I live, I can't go to work to get away from home responsibilities or to have some adult conversation. And I can't go home to get away from work. I live and breathe a combined work / home life. I don't get "mental health days". Once the realization of needing a breather in my day hit me, I felt immediately better about everything. Just knowing made me better. And since that moment, I've been making a conscious effort to take even just 10 minutes to shut the world out, my family out, my pet responsibilities and relax. It was so rewarding the first time, all I could picture in my mind was the photo of the cat. And then I found it on google and smiled!

... during my week of lacking happiness, Oprah puts on a show about happiness. I never watch Oprah and it happens to be the one I turn on. I couldn't watch it as I had to get Mikiyas out the door so I taped it. I watched it this evening. Tidbits:

- you need to earn an extra $40,000.00 a year to make up for commuting 1 hour each way, each day;

- having children is a second full time job for woman and therefore makes it harder for woman to be happy;

- 34% of happiness can be gained by knowing your neighbors [I better get on that!];

- 50% of happiness is genetic;

- 40% of your happiness can be learned;

- taking even 10 minutes each day, starting at 1 minute a day and increasing it as you can, improves your happiness and you can see a difference within ten days;

- the four happiest careers are clergy, special education teacher, fire fighter and travel agent because of social interaction. On average, not one of those four jobs earns more than $50,000.00 a year. They are happiest careers because the happiest people spend minimum 8 hours a day socializing;

- for a family of four you do not need to earn more than $75,000.00 a year. More money causes more frivolous spending and buying things that won't give you long term happiness. It also increases your debt load;

- life experience gifts bring more happiness than material things.

... I was absolutely elated to order more books from Chapters. They're all kids books, but they're kids books I want. I did it the afternoon I felt crappy. I just love books.

... I think I'm almost over my Coke withdrawal. It's been eleven days.

... I love that my MDX gets amazing gas mileage in comparison to the Expedition. I get more kilometers on a tank of gas that's half the size of the Expedition's tank. And even though it takes premium gas, the mileage is so amazing for mind set that I don't care. Plus it helps that Costco's premium price is cheaper than the regular price at every other station.

... my stitches in my mouth annoy me and I can't help continually playing with them with my tongue.

... Pugsly jumped onto our bed at about 3:00 am the other night. He laid down in Carmin's spot, right against my leg. It brought back a beautiful feeling.

Oh come on!

2011-01-27T18:06:00.000-07:00

So I heard some news last night through the oh-so-wonderful-how-do-we-live-without-it facebook that Ethiopia was not accepting any more applications due to the now seven-year wait. I learned during the first adoption [seems like eons ago] that when there's a rumor, call CAFAC and find out right out away what's truth. So I went to bed not stressing about it. Didn't stop me from dreaming about Cyclops running all over the campground we were at and M*rk W*hlb*rg killing it with with his one-eyed siberian tiger. Can you tell what we learned about in Mikiyas' social studies yesterday?

I got on the phone this morning with CAFAC. They'd not heard that rumor yet and as they'd just returned from Ethiopia on the weekend, they were positive it was a false rumor. But, they checked into it and came back to say that indeed it is not true.

Since I was on the phone I asked where we were sitting regarding a referral. She laughed saying "You returning adopting families are supposed to be able to handle the wait easier?" I laughed back sarcastically and said "In the over three years we've been waiting so far, this is my first request for knowledge!". So where are we at? "Very near the top of the list."

With that knowledge, I was also advised that it is unlikely we will get siblings, as requested. We will likely get a referral for one. And, although we'll likely get that referral in 2011 [LIKELY?! HELLO!!] and may go for court in 2011, we will likely not be able to bring home until 2012. But, they still are unsure of how long the process takes from the parent-attending-court-date until pick up as their first parent-attending-court-date was only in December.

And on that note, it may become even more likely that we will not proceed with a third adoption. But, we will not confirm that as God's will over powers our doubt and discouragement.

Right now, I really want a vacation. We have not had a vacation or time off since Christmas 2004. We had to bank holidays and save pennies for when we went to Ethiopia for Mikiyas. Now, we do that for this adoption. And being that each year we hope and expect it to happen, we don't take vacation time. If we take the time and use money for it and we do get a referral, we're screwed. And this adoption takes two trips to Ethiopia. Vacations aren't everything, but we'd like to take Mikiyas on one sometime before he graduates!

So, here's hoping we get a referral soon so we can be united with one of our beloved children and here's hoping we win a vacation and free vacation time from Lyle's work.

Confession Friday Gone Monday

2011-01-24T13:36:00.003-07:00

I confess that...

... I didn't do this Friday because I was too busy looking after kids and getting final packing etc. done for our first mini-vacation in 2011. With all my excitement I didn't want to spill the beans that we wouldn't be home for a few days as that could lead to break-ins.

... I'm starting this post Sunday night because I can't sleep. I'm overly tired but too nervous about a dentist appointment first thing in the morning.

... I hate dentist appointments.

... I am missing Carmin a lot. He is thought of daily. I still picture him around the house and can imagine and feel him walking across the bed to cuddle. Sometimes, like now, when I can't sleep I go to the couch so not to keep Lyle awake. Carmin was always so faithful to follow me and stay with me. He's not with me right now.

... I felt guilty vacuuming. I felt like I was removing even more of Carmin from our house.

... I hate dentist appointments.

... I had a fabulous weekend at Lake Louise, filled with snow shoeing, night time skating through the trees under the Christmas lights, swimming, eating, relaxing, more skating, ice sculptures .... It was truly an awesome weekend.

... I enjoyed skating most because I just let my dog pull me across the ice. No work for me!

... I was dissapointed we didn't connect with any homeschool families in Lake Louise when apparently there was eighteen of us families at that hotel.

... Although we planned to take the dog with us, I insisted we take Sandi too. It may have been more for my benefit than hers, but it turned out wonderfully. Sandi has never been alone in her 13 years of life. Now that Carmin is gone she occasionally cries out and wanders. Leaving her all alone so close to his death would have been hard. So we took her and it turned out good, forcing her to socialize in a confined area with the dog and with our aunts that came with us.

... I hate dentist appointments.

... I love the snow. Even when I walked ended up in waist high snow while trying out the snow shoes!

... Love being outdoors. I'm usually too lazy to do the process of getting there so I'll miss out on things, but when I do do it, I never regret it.

... I have an addiction to Coke and snack food. I've been enjoying both too often lately. I can control it when I choose to, but usually I choose not to.

... We have considered and discussed the possibility that we won't proceed with the planned third adoption because this second one is taking far too long. Yesterday was 3 years and 2 months.

... I get jealous of friendships. I need to give that up and not care but it's hard.

... I hate dentist appointments.

... After both Lyle andI looked all over the house for hiding Mikiyas [closets, under beds, in showers etc.), we laughed hysterically to find him in a more obvious place. He was hiding behind a half inch thick lamp pole.

_________________________________________________________

Post Dental Surgery Confessions:

I confess that:

... I was so freaked out. Much like a scared cat at the door to the vet. I can smell the horror. I should've pushed harder for sleeping through this when they said no.

... If I had been driving, I'd have pulled a U-turn and gone home, even if it meant still paying the full $2,500.00.

... During the drive I felt like puking. Once I got there, I almost did.

... Walking to the doors, I wanted to keep going and break out in a run.

... During the payment process I was nervous I couldn't stop talking.

... During prescription paperwork I started shaking and crying. They brought me Ativan.

... I'd never taken Ativan before. It helped some. But they had to bring me two extra heat blankets to get me to stop nervous shivering.

... When putting the needle of freezing into my mouth, I pushed myself so far up the table they had to hold me down. They remind me to breathe. Tell me to breathe. Still not breathing. Yell at me to breathe. That worked.

... I work hard at keeping my teeth healthy. Brushing, flossing, mouth wash, fluoride .... This dental work is a result of an over-sensitive tooth turned into a horrible root canal job turned bridge job. Those steps done through two different dentists. All was fine again until the bridge popped of July 1, 2010. Apparently that kind of work isn't done these days and it wasn't done well to begin with. So it's not an easy fix. I'm stuck with a titanium rod in there. Tomorrow a temporary bridge goes back on for three months. Next week, they tweak the rod. Three months from now they twist it and make sure my body hasn't rejected it. I'll then be released to have it completed with a cap. My confession here? I hated Lyle and his no-problem teeth this morning that never give him trouble when he doesn't go to all the healthy work I do. Hmph.

... I am happy that I'm allowed to still have Coke and snacks on occasion because I apparently have great teeth. Although the shady root canal / bridge job was a botch, the surgeon said I did a terrific job at keeping the bones around it healthy. Had I not, the titanium rod fix wouldn't have worked either.

Confession Friday

2011-01-14T09:18:00.004-07:00

I confess that ...

... as much as I hated everything about social studies when I was in school, and even college, and still refuse to watch the news etc., I am really enjoying learning ancient history with Mikiyas in his homeschooling.

... I am fighting a battle with Revenue Canada. I may win. I hope I win. I don't want to pay them thousands of dollars that shouldn't be theirs. After 11 1/2 years of marriage, 4 prior audits, we've hit our 5th audit with the 2009 taxes. Why do we always get audited? Who knows. Have we ever been wrong? No, they've always ended with a letter acknowledging no errors. Are we wrong this time? Technically, no. But some things they may win in simply because we cannot get the documents from outside sources to support our claims. They tell us they are correct expenses but we need letters from others to confirm. That's what we're currently struggling with. Will we win? This time, I really don't know.

... I loved having snow day on Monday. I wish I could have more snow days but they generally don't affect me. This time, I got one. I baked granola bars, muffins, cookies, had crock pot stew for lunch and made a homemade chicken and rice soup for dinner. Also did some dealings with Revenue Canada and had the builders come cut a hole in my kitchen ceiling.

... I'm jealous Mikiyas is in Taekwondo. I've always wanted to do kickboxing. Maybe one day.

... I'm jealous that Mikiyas is already a better swimmer than I am.

... I shouldn't be jealous.

... Last night after the cremator and the vet left with Carmin, I sobbed so hard. I don't remember sobbing that hard since our first miscarriage. It felt good, but left me with the most insane headache and back ache. Now I'm struggling with uncontrollable moments of crying as I walk into a room of the house and remember seeing Carmin. I miss him so much already. I'm glad I had the time to hold him up to his favorite window to watch outside and listen to a barely-there purr. He then died peacefully in my arms, on his favorite blanket, on my bed, his favorite place in the house.

... I am amazed once again with Mikiyas in how he handled Carmin's death and the questions he has about God and Heaven.

... As much as I need the distraction today, and must get on with things, I'd like today a tiny bit more if there were no kids coming. I'd curl up on the couch with a blanket, Sandi [who keeps looking for Carmin] and a good movie or two. Must not forget a Coke and some M&Ms. I could also go to the chiropractor.

... I have procrastinated terribly long in renewing Lyle's and my passports, obtaining one for Mikiyas, getting family photos arranged and doing Mikiyas' grade one photos. Maybe someday before grade two starts.

... After discussing our childrens' bum sizes and the lack of jeans that properly fit them, I was reminded of a time my child made me laugh hysterically. We've always called his bum his bootie and therefore he has always called it that too. One day in a store, he came up to me, slapped me in the bum and said "Nice bootie!". Those around us were horrified not realizing that this child said this to his own mother. Not looking a whole lot alike, it was assumed he did this to some random stranger, that stranger being me.

Not Prepared

2011-01-12T20:11:00.000-07:00

All the pictures are at least two years old, except this one. It was taken last month.

Tomorrow we lose one of our family members. We will say good-bye to Carmin. For those that don't know, he is dying of lymphoma, diagnosed in November. The vet did not expect him to go much more than a week, if that. He's survived another two months. During that time, he gained wait, increased his energy and returned the attitude we've come to love. He also lived to see his 13th birthday! But, as quickly as he lost weight the first time around, it's happened again. In the course of a weekend, the weight he gained disappeared and took with it some more.

Since his diagnosis, I told Carmin that he had to tell me when it was time to go. He came to me yesterday and in his own way, he told me. I cried and snuggled. Tomorrow evening [Jan 13] at 5:00 pm the vet and the cremator will come to the house. We chose to have him put to sleep at the house because it is where he will be the most comfortable. [No, he will not be cremated at the house.] He despises vets, car rides and most other people [really, he is an amazingly gentle and loving cat!] so taking him into all three during his last moments just doesn't seem fair. This way too, I can be with him. But yes, I'm horrified. I've lost pets before, but never like this. They died without me around or knowing what happened [farm life]. I will never be prepared for losing a pet so close.


He loved sleeping in Mikiyas' crib before he came home.

I am already worrying a little about Sandi. She's from the same litter as Carmin and has never been alone before. Hopefully she'll grieve and grow stronger through it all.

I'm Done. I Just Can't Finish It!

2011-01-11T09:11:00.000-07:00

Disclaimer - this is my opinion, not something to be taken as fact.

I can't finish The Secret Daughter. It sucks. I can't stand it. I had heard that the author is apparently adopted. But I've also heard not. But seriously!!! She does not use any proper adoption language. If she really is adopted then she must have almost next to nothing in respect for her adoptive mother. She leaves the reader, thus far, assuming that adopted children are incomplete. That they do not find satisfaction or fulfillment in being adopted. That they will always wonder who they are. Well ... politely put, PISH POSH!

There's the feeling that an adoptive mother will always long for their "real" child and that the adoptive child will always long for their "true" family.

And I really don't like that the adoptive mother pretty much doesn't even allow anything culturally related to that of her husband and adoptive daughter into her life, or even her home. Talk about self centered.

I like to read to relax in the evening. I've been avoiding reading for weeks because I hate this book. I'm not finishing this book. So perhaps the ending is something worth reading to, but at this point in my very busy life, I'd rather forget about it and read something else more fulfilling to me.

Confession Friday, I Mean Monday ... Again

2011-01-10T09:37:00.001-07:00

I confess that...

... I am once again doing Friday's confession on a Monday, and I don't care if you think I'm lazy. Laziness for the blog just means I'm not being lazy in my other duties as a mother, wife, homemaker, homeschool teacher, child care provider, unofficial preschool teacher .....

... I was so proud that my son knew his Bible stories so well as he ~~taught~~ preached to other kids, but was jealous that he knows them way better than I do. I think as adults we sit in church learning about the Bible in very small segments. We listen to the pastor take apart a verse or two for an hour while forgetting the "stories" within the Bible. I am a story reader. I am not a text book reader. I think I need to go back to my own Children's Bible and read it like a child so I can embrace the stories again.

... I miss and love Ethiopia so much. I long to be back there. I dream of it. Not just because I have more children there, but because Africa has been a part of me for the last twenty-four years, and Ethiopia specifically for the last five years. Being with Ethiopians on Friday night reminded me again how much I miss the people and culture. I long to be there.

... a part of me was disappointed that we did not see one other adoptive family at the Ethiopian restaurant on Friday to celebrate Ethiopian Christmas. We know there are many out there celebrating in their own ways, but we had hoped to see some at the restaurant.

... I was very bummed out that we did not get a single donation / offer / bid on the 250.00 satellite radio system we were auctioning off to raise money for the water system in Ethiopia. If not for our friend in Manitoba guilting some of his friends into donating we would not have had even one bid. Sadly, it went for $40.00. Thankfully, our friend was able to convince the other two bidders to still donate their bids even though they didn't win. He raised $105.00. Better than nothing and I need to be thankful.

... I spent an evening on this website: http://www.damnyoucorrect.com/ and laughed myself to tears. Twice the dog came over to see what was wrong with me!

... I am in love with our new truck but I feel like I don't deserve such a beautiful vehicle. And I drive down the road proud, but at the same time wanting to hide my face that I have something so valuable when there's children ... you know the story.

... I love listening to my dog snore. It's a little snore and sounds so cute.

... I love the smell of pets sleeping. Both the cats and the dog. It's a sweet [perhaps sweaty] smell and I like it. I know - weird!

... I find it ?? I can't think of the word. People going through or thinking about adoption related topics post things on their blogs. People get excited and relate well and think it's a marvelous topic. I go back and realize I posted the same thing three or four years ago. I realize no one reads old posts and no one reads my blog anymore. They've moved on to more current / voiced blogs. I have less to type about this time around because I've already posted it once before.

... I am considering shutting down my blogs. There are so few readers out there now. The public blog [the quiet one as our adoption is so quiet] still seems to get many hits, but I spend more time marking comments as spam than I do typing on it, so I think they're not "real" hits. The private blog is lacking motivation because I'm only writing for maybe five people now, all of which I talk to anyway. My family gets the posts the easy way [email] and I think it's why we rarely get phone calls from many of them as they're somewhat updated on our lives. The people who do read it are friends who I chat or email with so what's the point?

That Was a Bit of a Bomb!

2011-01-09T23:59:00.000-07:00

So the auction for the Satellite Radio did not go very well at all. Perhaps because it was so soon after Christmas. If not for a dear friend in Manitoba extending the deadline and pretty much guilting people into donating, we'd not have had a single vote. But he got three and he even got them to commit to donating their vote, regardless of whether they won. So the highest bid was $40.00. I'm pretty sure it's going to cost me more to ship it there.

Thanks to Tova too for doing a little advertising on her blog. Hopefully next time we do a fundraiser it'll go off better.

Fundraiser for Permanent Water System Being Built in Ethiopia

2011-01-02T21:11:00.001-07:00

Highest bidder receives this package. Bidding closes midnight Friday January 7, 2011!!

Audiovox Xpress Belkin Boombox Bundle with Vehicle Kit

List price $249.99 USD

This complete Xpress Boombox Bundle with Vehicle Kit Package includes:

Audiovox Xpress XM Receiver
Belkin F5X007 XM Audio System Boombox
Audiovox Xpress Vehicle Adaptor Kit

XM programming: Enjoy over 170 digital-quality channels of music, news, sports and entertainment from coast-to-coast.
Easily transportable: With the use of home and car docking kits, you can use the receiver in your office, home, car, boat and more.
SureConnect FM Modulation Hookup (What Is SureConnect?)
6-line display: Offers channel name and number, category, artist name, song title and time simultaneously.
30 station presets: Store your favorite channels for easy access with just the push of a button.
InfoExtra feature: Offers a personal stock and sports ticker so you can keep up with all the latest news and your favorite teams.
TuneSelect: Enter up to 24 of your favorite songs and the receiver will alert you when they are playing on any of the music channels.
Car kit included: It comes with everything you need to listen in your car—a roof-mount antenna, docking cradle with a built-in wireless FM modulator, adjustable mounting bracket and cigarette lighter power adapter.
Auxiliary Input: Auxiliary input jack allows you to add support for iPod or other audio device.
Xpress Features:

XM programming: Enjoy over 170 digital-quality channels of music, news, sports and entertainment from coast-to-coast.
Easily transportable: With the use of home and car docking kits, you can use the receiver in your office, home, car, boat and more.
"Tune & Press" tuning knob: Just twist the knob for easy navigation to all XM has to offer.
Auxiliary input: You can use the Xpress unit as an adapter for your MP3 player or other portable audio device.
5-line display: Offers channel name and number, category, artist name, song title and time simultaneously.
Extra features: Offers a personal stock ticker, sports ticker, clock and more to keep up with all the latest news and your favorite teams. There is also a jump button that goes directly to you favorite station.
SureConnect FM Modulation Hookup (What Is SureConnect?)
TuneSelect: Enter your favorite songs and the receiver will alert you when they are playing on any of the music channels.

Belkin XM Audio System Key Features:

Turns your Plug-and-Play XM radio into a portable receiver
Features 2-way speaker system: 5W RMS/channel with 4 in. woofers and 13mm tweeters
Features built-in handle and water-resistant cover
Includes built-in antenna
Includes AC power supply
Includes remote control
Comes with a 1-Year Belkin Warranty
Approximate Size: 18” (W) x 9” (H) x 5.75” (D)

XMC10 Vehicle Kit Features:

docking station
roof-mount antenna with 22.5-foot cable
DC power adapter
warranty: 1 year

Confession Friday

2010-12-31T22:29:00.000-07:00

I confess that...

... it appears I only do blog posts for Confession Fridays now. I just don't have anything to write about. It's disappointing. But, no one reads this anyway...

... I haven't done a Christmas blog post and in 1 hour and 45 minutes we'll be into 2011. Whoops.

... we found out on Tuesday that our Expedition needed a lot of work. Enough work that it would cost more to fix it than we would get if we sold it fixed. So, wanting to put some feelers out there and see how the market was, we listed it on kijiji with a high price late Tuesday night. We were in no rush to sell as we had not planned to sell it, had no back up vehicle, no money for a new vehicle and the seating in the Expedition was needed for dayhome the following week.

... panicked a little when less than twelve hours later the Expedition was sold.

... the speed of which things happened with vehicles this week barely left room for snacking on Christmas chocolates and baking, but I managed to fit that in too.

... cried in the General Manager's office of Honda when he put together the most amazing deal for us for a used Acura MDX, fully loaded beyond anything I could dream. It does help that Lyle works there [for all of three weeks].

... I packed up Christmas before New Years this year.

... I felt really odd watching my six-year-old buy himself cologne and deodorant from the Body Shop with some of his Christmas money. Seriously, it's what he really wanted. And he truly understood it meant less money in his wallet for toys, which was fine because he doesn't really play with toys anyway.

... For the last three and a half years I've wished I could figure out a way to get my son to play with toys. I go through stages of accepting that he just doesn't. But sometimes I wish he would. Quite frankly though, it has probably saved us loads of money.

... I was so proud of my son for saying "Yes" when the cashier at The Body Shop asked if he'd like to make a $5.00 donation to stop child trafficking. In exchange he got 30% off his purchase, but he didn't get that part. He just wanted to help the kids.

... My sweet cat Carmin has survived Christmas and will make it through New Years. I am delighted and relieved.

... I am continuing to read "The Secret Daughter" although I find it tedious. Many ladies that are not touched by adoption tell me it's a wonderful story, but I'm not finding that. I find it just a story with odd happenings. It moves too fast. Some language is wrong. But the author was adopted so perhaps some of it is reality for her, although it's fiction. Perhaps it's "wonderfulness" will come. Have any of you adoptive mom's read it and can share your thoughts?

... I am entering into 2011 with peace and contentment. I am so proud of and always amazed with my son. I am so proud of and in love with my husband. I am excited to receive a referral and hopefully go to Ethiopia this year. I am back to enjoying my work and homeschooling, even though it can be exhausting. I miss many friends from BC, but am blessed to be growing new relationships here. I am in awe of God's faithfulness and never-ending grace.

Confession Friday

2010-12-24T10:49:00.000-07:00

I confess that...

... I went to start my Confession Friday, even though I haven't done it for two weeks, and realized that I wrote one three weeks ago and forgot to publish it. If you scroll down to December 3 you can see what I confessed there.

... It's Christmas Eve and I feel excited. I think I'm more excited than I have been for years. It's our first Christmas in our own house for many years. And it's our first Christmas in our own house since Mikiyas! Time has flown a little too fast.

... We've spent a fair amount of time in front of the TV this month watching Christmas movies. It's been so much fun. The best was actually watching Mikiyas while he watched Home Alone for the first time. He couldn't get enough. "Rewind, rewind!"

... I'm looking forward to watching National Lampoon's Christmas Vacation tonight!

... I've been enjoying the wonderful gifts dayhome families have been giving me. Some have even been for the whole family. There are some very generous people out there!

... I bought a $10.00 gift card at McDonalds the other night simply to help the cashier attempt to win a contest with another coworker - who can get to $100.00 in gift cards the fastest!

... After having some fears about Carmin dying at Christmas, I'm settling down. The fact that when I called the Vet for a refill on his steroids and she was shocked, to say the least, that he was alive, gave me hope. Not only is he alive, he's gained a little weight and will now walk down the hallway to another bedroom.

... The other night I wanted to ring Carmin's neck. The kitty litter is in our ensuite because he can no longer make it to the basement to relieve himself. Around 2:00 am he found the energy for about an hour to dig noisily. I figured he was going to China. Lyle figures he was trying to build a sand castle. With the energy he had, I don't think he was digging his own grave!

... For the first time ever in history, I do not have the time between Christmas and New Years off work. I find it strange and regretful. It's so weird!

... I'm so proud of Lyle and his fantastic new job. He's really proving his worth there and everyone is acknowledging it, as they should. I'm also proud of him for sticking out the crap until this one came along for him.

... We moved the cable box down to the basement TV. We all seem to enjoy it better there, and there's way less TV happening because it's not in the main living area.

... I love my basement set up but can't stand being in it without wishing that it was done. It is so cold and unfinished.

... I'm PMSing my way through Christmas. All the Christmas baking I did is going to come in handy!!

Metaphorical Adoption Maternity Portrait Series

2010-12-18T21:45:00.001-07:00

Had to post this link a friend of mine sent me. Very cool story to go with the pictures, so don't just look at the pictures or you won't quite get it.

Metaphorical Adoption Maternity Portrait Series

Confession Friday

2010-12-03T08:56:00.000-07:00

I confess that...

... I am writing this Thursday night for two reasons. One, I am procrastinating on doing legal documents for someone. Two, I know tomorrow will be too busy to do it.

... I am wearing a Snuggie while doing this because our unfinished basement is too cold.

... I have finished all my Christmas baking. This week I made sugar cookies, shortbread, milk chocolate almond bark, white chocolate almond bark, ginger snaps, Skor shortbread bars, almond biscotti, peanut butter cups, unbaked chocolate fudge cookies and marshmallow squares. Yum. I pulled off baking both almond barks today while holding a child that refused to be put down. I may just have to try the lapa with her one day.

... In addition to running the household, homeschooling, running dayhome and teaching preschool, I am now back to doing computer work for a few months for a company in Richmond. I am looking forward to doing something that doesn't involve diapers and screaming. However, if you can imagine it, blog posts may get less for a bit.

... I have entered December with a new daily schedule and am already loving it. Being day two is now complete, let's see if the novelty wears off.

... I laughed hysterically last night when my child yelled: "For the sake of goodness!". I must say "for goodness sake" too much.

... I am so delighted that Lyle has a new job. He starts in a week and a half. We will see him more!!

... After eleven and a half years of marriage, I am happy that I can still be excited to see my spouse more.

... In addition to my brother pointing out my gray hair last week, and going to the BC Royal Tyrrell Museum only to see toys I played with on display, saying I've been married for eleven and a half years makes me feel old.

... I have finally hit absolute insanity. I am hosting the kids' Christmas party in my house tomorrow ... eleven children!!!! Yes, I will have mom volunteers but still!

... I was hit with a wave of disappointment. After many years of always taking a week off at Christmas, I realized I do not get any time off this Christmas. It falls on a weekend AND apparently children still need child care. Hmph.

... The above was written December 3. I forgot about it and am now publishing it December 23! Whoops!

Confession Friday, I Mean Monday

2010-11-29T10:10:00.000-07:00

I confess that:

1. I am writing this Monday because doing it Friday seems to be a difficult task for me. I'm too busy Fridays.

2. I have steroids in the house and they're used daily. Carmin [cat] is doing very well on steroids. His strength has increased and he's eating now. Doesn't eat much, but the food is going in. And for those that care and ridicule us, no we haven't added a second mortgage to the house to help our cat. It was a whopping $24.00 for three weeks!

3. I have let myself wonder if people think I'm screwed up because I'm so upset about the cat. But I've tossed those thoughts aside numerous times as I don't really care. For me, and I know for many other people, pets are family members. So I can't care what others think. And I'm not the only one who has cried over our cat's lymphoma.

4. I was going to send out a few Christmas cards to people but have held off in hopes that I can add my daughter's name to the card. We decided to cut down on Christmas cards BIG time this year and donated the money, but a few people will still get a card. Or perhaps they won't. Depends on if I choose to write out cards without a referral name.

5. We went to Ikea and bought Mikiyas a desk for his bedroom. He requested it so he could do school work away from dayhome kids. We obliged. I find it weird that my six-year old has a desk and laptop in his bedroom. What will he "need" when he's ten?!

6. I had such wonderful joy watching my son be overly happy the past two days. He's been down in the dumps as of late, and he hasn't been able to figure out why. It was joyous seeing him find happiness again.

7. Having had quiet an emotionally draining week due to the cat and some other unforeseen reasons, I have found great solace in my husband. He has been an amazing support and has shown a whole lot of patience.

8. I have eaten so much chocolate the last week I've probably used the entire grocery budget. OK. Not really. Sure is close though.

9. I was very close to cursing when the light fixture poured water onto my floor again the other day. Sorry plumber, you were wrong. You didn't fix the leak with a tiny little spacer in the bathroom shower faucet on the other end of the house. I was right. You were wrong. Today you start tearing holes in drywall.

10. I feel greedy in needing more happy thoughts when I'm blessed with my amazing family, pets, a terrific home beautifully decorated for Christmas ........ I feel greedy but I need more happy thoughts.

November 23, 2010 is

2010-11-23T09:37:00.000-07:00

three years and five years.

November 23, 2005 we signed the contracts to start Mikiyas' adoption. Exactly eighteen months later [May 23, 2007] we met Mikiyas for the first time.

November 23, 2007 we signed the contracts to start the second adoption. I remember writing a blog that day saying each day will feel like an eternity, but it will happen so fast. The years are flying by. I lied. It's not happening fast!

Three years ... good grief!

Confession Friday

2010-11-13T11:33:00.000-07:00

Today, I confess that:

1. Our line of credit balance is much too high. Did I just admit that? Yes, I did. UGH!

2. Have I mentioned how much I hate going to the dentist? Yes, numerous times. I just had a consult with a second dental surgeon for surgery number two, scheduled for January 2011. Ergo number 1.

3. I was annoyed with myself that I let a comment from someone make me feel guilty [even if only for a few minutes] for going to Grease without Lyle. I'm glad my husband doesn't see it that way. He's so awesome! While I was at Grease, he enjoyed a great guy's night out.

4. I'm struggling in the area of guilt. I am a strong person in many areas, but I am easily controlled with guilt. You lay guilt on me, I will feel horrible forever and you can control me. Recently, I was controlled through guilt while trying to make the best decision for my family. I'm learning, with Lyle's and my mom's assistance, to not let guilt run me over. I get physically ill, run down, tired, emotional and won't easily say no to anyone for fear of feeling guilty. So, as in number 3, if someone says something the wrong way, I am lead to feel guilty and then harbor bad feelings too long. Please don't abuse my vulnerability here by using guilt against me now.

5. Mikiyas has two chocolate bars in the pantry from Halloween. I really want to eat them, but haven't.

6. I hate it when people forget that we are expecting. I know adoption takes so long. I know we have no growing belly to prove it. I know it gets tiring hearing "no news". But it bothers me that people don't think of adoptive families as expecting families. Please refer to this post on my adoption blog.

7. I'm posting this on Saturday because I didn't have time on Friday to write the referred to blog post in number 6.

What Not to Expect When You're Expecting

2010-11-13T11:31:00.004-07:00

Nope, this post isn't about the acclaimed book teaching you about pregnancy, birth and that first year with your newborn. This is for all those prospective adoptive parents out there. I hate it that expecting adoptive parents are not given the same glory and stature as expecting biological parents. So, here's my two bits:

Don't expect everyone to remember that you are expecting a child. You never forget. You feel it every day in a variety of emotions as the wait gets lengthy. Others don't and they tend to forget that you are pregnant in your own way.

Especially for the ladies, don't forget that your friend, sister, aunt ... is expecting a child. She may not be getting a fat belly. She may still be able to give herself her own pedicure. But she is expecting. Adoptions are getting longer and longer so it's easy to forget. Expecting mothers get discouraged often as the wait drags on. Let them know that you support them not just in the exciting times like homestudy completions, referral times, travel times, but you also remember during the long, silent months. You don't have to do anything outrageous or spend tons of money on them to show you remember. Just let them know, you never forget. But each expecting mother is different so also be sensitive to whether they want you decorating their nursery for them, seeing a picture frame you thought they'd like, buying them a rose on Mother's Day or just letting them know your praying for their child.

Don't expect baby showers. They do happen for adoptive parents, but not always. But do enjoy it when it does happen. Or, just throw yourself one - you know you deserve it!

Come on friends and families. Throw some parties. It is more preferred by adoptive parents to have a shower before the child comes home, just like pregnant mothers, or long after they're home and into a routine. It helps in providing for the necessary items, like clothes, diapers, blankets, monitors, toys ... Adoptions cost so much that to leave the burden of also having parents buy all the stuff on their own is just mean. You know you'd throw them a party before they give birth!

Don't expect flowers and baby balloons, but relish in them when they do come.

If you're greeting your loved ones at the airport, bring treats for them to show your excitement. If you're not, have something delivered. If you feel a need to deliver a treat yourself, don't expect to stay for a lengthy visit or cuddles with the new addition. Drop off, congratulate and wait for the invitation to come visit later.

Don't expect meals being dropped off when you first arrive home with your new bundle of joy. Because you don't have a newborn in your arms, people expect that life continues on as normal for you. And the older the child you have, the less you will receive of anything.

When adoptive parents return home with their new addition [sometimes 2!!], so much needs to happen. Aside from feeding, clothing, cleaning, and playing with the new child, no matter the age, other things are happening that are often taken for granted. Attachment and bonding does NOT come as natural for adoptive children. No matter the age, the children are traumatized. Some have many feelings they need to deal with and no way of knowing how to in a healthy manner. The world they just new disappeared and now they've entered a new one with complete strangers. So prepare some meals. Even freezer meals. Make it a little easier for your friend / family member. Be really organized and get a few people to do up a schedule to provide two weeks or more of meals! You'll be thanked more than you can imagine.

Don't expect people to come clean your house or offer to run a few errands for you. You may wish it, but you may have to ask.

This is the most hardest ones for many newly adoptive parents, especially internationally adoptive parents because of the travel involved. I know from our own experience that combining jet lag and thirty-one hours of travel with having a brand new traumatized addition was exhausting. So doing two weeks worth of travel laundry, vacuuming, grocery shopping, dishes etc. was not enjoyable. So friends and family, offer to come by to help out. Let the new family nap. Let them go for a relaxing walk. Do some work around the house for them. Even just offer to come by to pick up their grocery list and money [unless you're offering to pay]. Do you honestly think that their milk, bread, eggs, veggies and fruit really stayed current in the fridge while they were away? Do you think when they arrived home late that first day that they really wanted to go grocery shopping?

Don't expect that everyone will be willing to honor the no touch rule, if you've instilled that.

This is different for every family. Not everyone does this. Some plan to do it, and find they don't. Some don't plan to do it, and find they need to. This rule is the hardest for the female relatives, especially new grandmas. But it is an important one. Many children come from orphanages, having many different caregivers everyday. They don't understand what a parent is for. They don't understand that one or two people can and will provide for their every need. Many have never had a male figure in their life and now they may have someone they call dad. The children need to learn who they should seek their needs and comfort from first, before everyone else starts contributing. But again, this is different for every family.

Don't expect everyone to treat your family the same.

Especially bi-racial families, they will be stared at. They will be asked tough questions. They will be asked if they're the nanny or babysitter, even when the child calls them mom or dad. The children will likely be introduced differently at some point in their life. One of my friends has both biological and adoptive children. Even in family gatherings they are treated differently. They're introduced differently. "These are the adoptive kids". You know you've seen it in the tabloids, especially Angelina and the biological / own kids vs. adopted kids, listing each country they're from. I've even had our son introduced as "He's adopted" and "He's from Ethiopia". Really, people can't tell by looking at him that he's adopted? They need the label said out loud? Lyle was even accused and accosted for kidnapping our own son from the playground! So friends and family, steer far, far away from labeling the children. They will get it enough from the world that they won't need you referring to them differently. I've heard my son referred to as the "orphan" and the "poor kid". If you're a grandparent with your brag book, don't go through the list of grandkids all the same and then introduce them as "this is our adopted granddaughter". You'll make them feel special in a healthy way by giving them your love and treating them no differently than the others. They don't need the negative special feelings.

Adoptive Parents: If you think of other things that should be added, make a comment or send me an email. I'd love to add it to the list.

a word to the wise

2010-11-11T20:06:00.001-07:00

I know I've posted a few times about crazy things people have asked us or said to us regarding our family. I came across THIS BLOG POST today and seriously laughed out loud. Everyone needs to read it, memorize it and honor it!

Good News, But Not THE News

2010-11-10T19:29:00.000-07:00

Nope, we did not receive our referral, but we did receive news worthy of noting. A few days ago we received the Country Update from CAFAC. Here's a few points that made us breathe again:

- Referrals this month: 1

- Number of court approvals: 1

- Families with documents in Nairobi: 19

- Visas issued: 13

- Families traveling in October: 6

- There are a number of child and family files in various stages of application for court. We will be reporting individually to families on their status. Now that court is open and the visa issuance review is over applications to court and referrals are our focus.

- We have been advised that there will be referrals coming in the next month.

So what does all this mean? It means things are finally moving! It's been slow for a while, with court closure and the visa issuance review. So many families in all stages have been just sitting and stressing. We continue to sit and wait and hope and pray ... along with so many others.

Confession Friday

2010-11-05T11:14:00.000-06:00

Today, I confess that:

1. I'm loving my morning with only three children in the house, including my darling Mikiyas.

2. I was starting to consider a country change when we received a more positive Country Update. We'll save the country change for later.

3. I'm almost all done Christmas shopping.

4. We are not sending out near as many Christmas cards this year. Spending 85.00 on stamps and cards last year was ridiculous. This year, the money went to children in Uganda needing much more than a useless Christmas card.

5. My dog has brought me daytime calmness and serenity amongst the chaos. My cats continue to bring me evening relaxation. I love my pets.

6. I ate chocolate for breakfast. But I did have healthy omelets and smoothies with spinach for dinner last night.

7. I've set a goal for September 2011. I'm hoping it's not unrealistic. I'm learning to trust God more on this one, but I'm scared that it's not a realistic goal.

8. I'm working on a legal case for a family member. Each time there's a task at hand I hate it and it makes me nervous because it's been too long since I've done that kind of legal work. But each time I complete the task, it makes me feel good again.

9. I know nothing about politics, especially the recent elections here. I didn't vote simply because I knew/know zero about what was/is going on.

10. When Mikiyas was unloading the dishwasher yesterday he dropped and broke a large glass on floor. I took a deep breath, counted and cleaned up. I didn't get mad. We discussed being careful, not letting the dog distract us ... Two minutes later, he dropped a glass bowl and it too broke on the floor. I then got mad. I had to be reminded that more important than dents in the floor, broken dishes, my time cleaning up, his not paying attention etc., Mikiyas was not hurt. We both apologized.

Confession Friday

2010-10-29T18:55:00.000-06:00

Didn't I just do last week's confessions? Yes I did. Just the other day, while under some sort of influence. Well, here goes this week's. I confess that:

1. I'm tired of hearing how perfectly well everyone else feels after getting their wisdom teeth pulled. People, please remember that we all handle surgeries differently. And also note that my teeth weren't just pulled. They were half way out, while the other half was sideways impacted into my jaw.

2. I aged another year on Wednesday. I don't feel different. Maybe I've been on too many muscle relaxants.

3. I felt like I put my jaw out when I tried to bite into a delicious cupcake my son made for my birthday. I stretched too far trying to eat something I wasn't necessarily supposed to. Served me right.

4. I used some of my birthday money to pay some things off.

5. I had an urge to go to the mall and just spend money on anything I wanted, no matter the cost. Thank the Lord I took kids with me to make it too difficult to shop. I walked out only spending enough to get my son and his friend each a T-shirt on sale from the newly opened Disney Store.

6. I've occasionally felt like our adoption is going so slow that Mikiyas will grow up being an only child. Really. Not just words I'm saying. I've honestly felt that he'll always have imaginary siblings.

7. I've found comfort for number 6 in bringing a dog into our lives. Oh how she makes me happy!

8. After eating more mashed potatoes and desperately wanting something more, I walked over to the fridge, pulled out a tub of Cool-Whip, stuck my whole hand in it and pulled out a large mound. I walked over to the table where Mikiyas had his back to me and as he was mid-sentence talking to Lyle, I shoved my Cool-Whipped hand all over his face. We laughed hysterically! I told him he just had dessert. He ate every ounce and begged me not to clean his face off until he had indeed eaten every ounce.

9. I've forgotten how to do blog posts in the past two weeks of chaos. I have to remind myself of the importance in doing them. Not only does some of my family appreciate the updates, but I find it somewhat therapeutic among the insanity.

she wanted to be me, not the other way around!!

2010-10-15T16:57:00.002-06:00

She is so much like me. I'm not like her. She wants to do what I do. Seriously.

Comments still occasionally come that I'm doing what Angelina Jolie did. Adoption. I even get occasional comments that I look like her, which I find so hard to believe. Regardless, I can now joke a little more that she is doing what I do. She is following in my footsteps. Why?

Firstly, we actually started Mikiyas' adoption before her first adoption, that being Ethiopia, went public. Perhaps even before she started, but who knows that timeline. She just received her daughter far quicker and it appeared that we were following her.

Secondly, I requested from my family, and received, my Akawelle necklace for Valentine's 2009. This summer, Angelina bought one too. And apparently she bought one for all her kids. Sorry kids, my bank account isn't quite as larger as hers. See here.

So, she's taking after me. Right?! Ha-ha. In all seriousness, I don't mind if people feel such a need to express that I'm like her. She has done amazing things for children and adults around the world. Go Angelina!

Confession Friday

2010-10-15T12:56:00.000-06:00

I confess that ...

1. I had such a frazzled afternoon yesterday that when the new dog ran out the door and kept going, I didn't blame her and really just wanted to join her.

2. I have mastered the art of tuning out children that sometimes I miss the important yells, cries and whimpers.

3. I'm already feeling far too lazy to take Mikiyas to both swimming and soccer tomorrow.

4. we paid more than asking price for our wonderful dog, simply because we wanted to be put to the top of the list rather than the bottom of the list of people inquiring. That being said, we still paid 700.00 less than normal asking price for this breed.

5. watching the snow fall this morning made me so thrilled, until I remembered that we now have a dog that will still need to be walked regardless of whether ... and I know that walker is ME!

6. I am overwhelmed by Mikiyas' science text book [because I don't know anything in it!!] that I haven't been teaching him Science. I always find a valid reason to skip it.

7. I use Mikiyas' kite as if it were mine, not his, because I think I found a new form of relaxation.

8. relaxing by flying said kite makes me feel lazy yet pathetic that I have nothing except a kite and an hour of TV at night as my only source of relaxation. I used to relax with cooking but now that I have to cook for dayhome, of which parents pay me to feed kids healthy food, I sometimes hate trying to find only healthy stuff to serve 9 different children with 9 different pickynesses for fear of being ridiculed if I feed them something below standards. Cooking became a chore and is no longer a relaxation.

9. I am tired of feeling tired. It's to the point that when Lyle asked Mikiyas what I'm good at, Mikiyas said "being tired!". Thankfully, he also said I'm good at cooking, dayhome and teaching. Phew!

Welcome to the Family!!

2010-10-13T11:54:00.001-06:00

Give a warm smile to Mikiyas and his new dog, Pugsly.

She's one year old. She's a "purebread" Pug and Beagle cross.

Citizenship DOB Change Requires ...

2010-10-12T16:33:00.000-06:00

So, I've received lots of emails regarding what is needed to change the date of birth of an adopted child with citizenship. In other words ... what do we do to make the age we say legal?

Before I start, let me remind you that after two years I had the MP of our are make inquiries. To this day, I've never met nor even spoken to our MP personally. I only phoned his office, spoke to his assistant, and sent emails back and forth. I never had to show them a single document or try to prove the correct age. They trusted me and sent a couple of faxes to inquire.

Once his office made the status inquiry, we received our legal DOB change. Although he didn't have to do anything really, I doubt that it would've gone through without the inquiry he made. I feel this way because we received our rejection from citizenship while his inquiry was making it's way to citizenship's office. After his inquiry, they withdrew the rejection and processed the approval very quickly. Regardless of his assistance, you will be required to send citizenship the following:

- Citizenship application for change, found here [read through page one, click next page and form is listed]

- $75.00 fee paid, and receipt showing online transaction paid

- new citizenship ID photos to be used on new ID card

- original citizenship card and certificate [this left us with zero legal ID for Mikiyas so have something else in your wallet first, like a medical card]

- letter from Record of Landing indicating that they cannot change the DOB and that you must go through citizenship [this is a must and the form can be obtained here]

- notarized copy of Ethiopian birth certificate [it'll have all the wrong dates, but it shows you as parents]

- copies of adoption paperwork

- Record of Landing ID card

- copy of Change of Name Certificate, if you've legally changed your child's name

- copy of medical card as an additional form of legal ID

- copies of both parents ID [we sent birth certificates and marriage certificate since we had them on hand as it was required for the adoption process]

- copy of the Ethiopian passport you were given, now invalid

- any supporting medical documentation you can get [we sent pediatric dentistry report with dental x-rays; wrist x-rays; Infant Development Assessment report; Pediatric Doctor report; Family Doctor letter]

- letter from us requesting the change and outlining your supporting documentation

- most people won't have this, but we did send an email report from the private investigator we hired in Ethiopia advising that birth family was contacted and they confirmed Mikiyas' correct DOB

With all that, we did get the rejection after two years of waiting. So, if you send in your application, tell your MP right from the start and have his/her involvement. After initial inquiry, the MP's office gave me this contact information as to where to send things directly. I suggest sending your application directly to this person/address as well. Maybe then they'll get the picture to get the department up and running in a timely manner.

Attention: Simonne Luedey

CIC - Citizenship Cards

PO Box 12000

Sydney, Nova Scotia

B1P 7C2

When you send in your application, send it by registered mail so you get a tracking number. Give that tracking number to your MP's office and let them do the rest of the follow ups.

Hope that helps in making this a more successful request for everyone!

Blog Subscription

2010-10-08T08:51:00.000-06:00

I've put a Subscribe to this Blog option on the right. If you don't want to have to wait around for updates from me, you can subscribe now so you get it emailed right to you. I believe it gives you the option to comment right from your email too.

Those few family members that I do email the update to, I'm leaving it up to you to subscribe. It won't automatically be emailing out anymore.

Confession Friday

2010-10-08T07:19:00.001-06:00

1. I missed last Confession Friday. No good excuse. Simply forgot.

2. I despise the dentist.

3. I hate that I can't use my backyard to let the kids play outside, especially when they need to be outside. Yet, I secretly am happy that there's one place in my house that is just for our family. It's our little oasis. Too bad we didn't get the Summer the enjoy. The workman sure did!

4. I need to find a new GP for way too many reasons, one of which is so I can find a new ObGyn. No, I'm not pregnant. My endometriosis needs to be defeated once again. I'm sick of doctor searching, appointments and treatment that I'd rather live with the pain and frustration sometimes. Sunday I had to have Mikiyas make his own lunch as I laid in the fetal position in our hallway. He brought me a throw-up bucket thinking I had a tummy ache. I let him believe that for his own sanity.

5. I despise the dentist.

6. I bought a ~~second~~ third blender. Not out of necessity, but out of want. I have a small one-cupper one but I always want more than one cup of fruit smoothie. I have a beautiful large blender, but it is more hassle than it's worth. I fight with that thing every time it needs to be put together. It is like a 1000-piece, one color, double-sided puzzle. I hate it to the point that I've left it sitting on the counter for Lyle to put together, skipping using the thing altogether. I finally bought my dream blender. I'm in love [to which Lyle said I was more excited about that than I am about him, to which I say he's always reliable and dependable and I'll get over my blender honeymoon soon enough]. It's a one piece blender. No more lining it up, screwing it together and hoping that the threads are just right so I don't have a disaster to clean up. Oh, how I hated that thing!

7. I love it when it's freezing cold out. Then I don't feel bad for not taking the kids outside.

8. I'm fighting a losing battle with the electric company. I know I'll never win, but I'll keep fighting. I'm actually finding the battle harder than the two-year battle with citizenship. It's only been four days!

9. I despise the dentist. It scares me more than bears ever could. Yet, here I am looking forward to full on dental surgery because it will give me an extra day off work and force my mom to come look after me.

10. I no longer remember the password to access Tova's private posts. Whoops.

11. I writing this on a Thursday so I don't miss posting it on a Friday.

Back in Session

2010-10-06T19:26:00.000-06:00

The Courts in Ethiopia have re-opened. We are pleased to know that there will be Canadian families, specifically with CAFAC, now starting to go through court dates in person. This means we aren't one of the first to experience. CAFAC and future families can learn from those going this month forward. So I big SHOUT-OUT of THANKS to those first families enduring this step for all of us. We wish you all the best.

Courts re-opening is also good news because once court approvals go through, visas etc. can be issues and then children can be picked up. Once children are united with their forever families, more room will be had in the CAFAC foster home, meaning more kids can be brought in and referred to waiting families. We are, of course, one of the many waiting families.

So what's our status?

Our dossier went May of 2008. There are eleven dossiers waiting for referrals that went before May 2008. In May 2008, there are still nine of us waiting. Ours went in a large batch on May 31 so it's hard to say what number we are on the list, but it doesn't matter anyway. People are often skipped depending on child requests.

How long have we been waiting now? I seriously have to think and count twice to be sure now. It's too insane. I can't believe I have to count that high.

We are almost three years since we started this second adoption. SERIOUSLY! And we are over twenty-eight months in waiting for the referral. So much for that eighteen month estimate! I feel really sorry for the family on the wait list that I keep seeing: Dossier to Ethiopia: August 2007. Whoever you are, we feel so bad for you! Hugs to you.

Can't Love Them

2010-09-29T07:37:00.000-06:00

I went out for dinner the other night with a friend from college. We did some reminiscing and updated each other on our mutual friends, old roommates and such. We went to college 14 years ago! Wow.

One of our mutual friends we had both run into at different times, her more recently than I. When I had last spoken to them, they were struggling with infertility and looking at adoption. I emailed them a ton of stuff, but then never heard from them. I have now been updated that they still do not have children, and won't be adopting either. Reason? They cannot love them like their own.

Right there I no longer felt sorry for them. At that instant I was thankful they didn't go through it. But then, after more thought, I was feeling sorry for them again, mostly because they can't experience what I do everyday. At least they "admitted" it, for lack of a better word, and didn't do adoption just for the sake of having children when they knew deep down they could never love them like their own.

I've posted before about loving adopted children enough. Four years ago, before having any children, I wrote this:

A blood link isn't what makes a family. It is hearts being united that make a family. It is the connection. Just think of the number of people you have said "he was like a brother to me" or "they're like family". Yet they look nothing like you. They don't share your blood line. Even in-laws are family - a hard pill for some of you to swallow. One definition off the internet says a family is "a domestic group of people".

For those of you have not or will not be adopting, and for those who plan to adopt but question whether you can love a non-biological child as if it were "your own", YOU CAN!! To be honest, I had questioned it early on in the adoption process too. It was a soon-to-pass fear that I wouldn't love my adopted child like I would if he/she were biological. Here's reality for you skeptics: There is no difference in loving a biological child or loving an adopted child unless you make up a difference! That in itself is a choice.

My step-dad loves me unconditionally. That was, and continues to be, his choice. He could have treated me and my brother differently than his biological son - my step-brother. He could have been my worst nightmare. Instead he chose to love me and share a piece of his heart with me. Do I doubt his words ... never.

It is a question that comes to mind for pretty much all adoptive parents at one time. It's a rollercoaster of an adventure, and when nerves hit you do wonder those things.

Loving adoptive children is an amazing and beautiful gift. I can't actually imagine loving my child more than I do. I can't imagine knowing a more profound love. Granted, I don't have biological children to personally compare with, but I am a biological child and a step-child. I am a receiver of biological and non-biological parental love. I can't see, feel or determine any difference.

But, if you really know deep down that you can't do it. That's it's too drastic of a comparison for children for you. That you would always look at the child and think "You're not really mine" than definitely don't do it. And thank you for admitting it and not doing it. As much as there's always children needing roofs over their heads, more importantly, those children need love. They don't deserve to grow up in a loveless house. I knew a family, although I haven't seen them for years, where the dad consciously chose not to love his step-daughter the same as his biological child. It was disgusting. And he verbalized it no matter who was there. Knowing we were adopting, he said some things he strongly felt, but we were disgusted with. The friendship ended there. But he honestly thought the step-daughter would never know the difference. HELLO! THEY KNOW!! They feel it. They see it. They hear it. They know! We saw sadness in her eyes every time we saw her. Her eyes were missing a spark. She was alone in her world.

So thank you to all those step-parents, foster parents and other styles of parents, who embrace their non-biological children as their own. They can all be a very difficult roads. Thank you to those of you who don't compare; who don't have strings attached; who love all your children as your own, just as God has chosen to love all His children as his own!

Confession Friday

2010-09-24T10:03:00.002-06:00

My dear friend T, whom I miss too much, does a fun, yet therapeutic, thing every Friday. I'm going to take a wing at it and see how I do. Confession Friday begins today:

1. I had Monday off work. By Tuesday 10:30 am I had to resort to a spoonful of icing from the kitchen to feel functionable!

2. I have been looking for about three years for a pair of high heeled, just below the knees, dressy boots. Next weekend I am going to Mamma Mia with a girl-friend. I finally became desperate to own a pair of these boots as they would go perfectly with the black and white mini-dress I bought 3 years ago! Monday, I finally found some boots, but not in my size. They're a 1/2 size too small. Maybe a full size. I bought them anyway. I've been wearing them every night with 3 pairs of wool socks to stretch them out. They fit beautifully now.

3. I skipped teaching Mikiyas Social Studies on Monday to buy said boots.

4. Wednesday, a dayhome mom brought donuts for Mikiyas' birthday and brought me a hot chocolate. I succumbed to have just that for breakfast.

5. I will go to a store multiple times in less than a week to save money. Not a bad thing I suppose. Last year at season end, I sought out a pair of brown winter boots I loved at Mark's WorkWear House. They searched across Canada for a pair in my size and there were none left. So I bought them in black. I knew they were priced wrong but didn't admit it and got them for an amazing deal. They were 99.00 and I paid 39.00. I felt guilty and returned them. Besides, they weren't brown anyway. This year, they are back!

Not having unpacked my winter wear yet, I forgot my desire to have brown boots. I bought them in black. They were under the wrong sale sign, which I knew. I expected to pay full price, now being 109.99. The teller knew too and offered to give them to me for 25% off. Sweet! I also had a gift card for 25.00. I walked out paying 61.61 for them.

I returned the next day with a 10.50 coupon. They told me the day before they'd honor it if I found it at home. I was now down to 51.11.

Having received a light snow fall on Tuesday, I decided I should start looking for the winter wear. I pulled out my brown jacket and went "duh!" I wanted brown! Yesterday Mikiyas had gymnastics and I would have time to go back to the store again and see if they had brown in my size. I did just that. I ended up waiting in line FOREVER because it was the 20% off everything sale. Without asking, they honored that for me too. I paid 35.89 TOTAL for my boots priced at 109.99.

This year, I don't feel guilty. Just a woman who doesn't know where she found the time for all that!

5. Woke up to Mikiyas having a blood shot eye. I panicked thinking pink eye!! First thought? We'd have to cancel his birthday party tomorrow as it's highly contagious. Less work for me!! YAY! In the end, I'm so glad it's not pink eye, but I am thinking of all the party work.

Okay. That's all I can think of. Hopefully I'm doing this right. T, let me know.

Country Update

2010-09-07T16:01:00.000-06:00

The Country Update came from CAFAC today. I was very excited to see that fifteen referrals were given during the last month. It was a pleasant surprise. I skipped over to the last page to see where we were on the list ... only to see that we are at about number twenty-four. Fifteen referrals and we went from 31 to 24?

For those not in the adoption world that don't understand the math, it's because families can be skipped over if their referral request doesn't match. We're wanting at least one girl so if a bunch of referrals came for boys, we'd be skipped over. Comprende?

The courts are now closed for the Ethiopian New Year. That means that things pretty much slow down now. People can't get Visas or pick up their children until they've passed court.

The first of the families attending court, as per the new legislation that came to pass in May, will be in November. It will be interesting to see how that progresses. I'm glad we're not one of the first families to have to endure that. I'm also very thankful that CAFAC is still able to attend court before us to do all the paperwork with the courts. If they couldn't do that, we'd have to attend multiple court dates ourselves.

So the news pretty much sums up that we'll be lucky if anything happens for our family in year 2010. So much for the assumption that we'd be bringing home our daughter in year 2009!! Now we'll be lucky for 2011. Referrals can't be given when the foster home is full. The foster home won't empty out too much with no court dates happening. There is still potential for a referral before 2010 ends but, even that's slim.

Am I depressed and upset? Surprisingly, right now I'm not. It's pretty much old news about anything happening in 2010. I'm still hugely surprised to hear that fifteen referrals happened in August! Woo hoo!! Congratulations everyone!

Jealousy

2010-09-01T15:48:00.002-06:00

Admit it. You've been there. You've been waiting for your referral and someone else you know gets theirs. You are excited for them. Elated with joy. You write a congratulatory comment or email to them. Maybe both. You might even share your heartfelt excitement with a phone call and/or gift. But deep down, you hate them. You maybe even shed some tears of anger. You're filled with jealousy. You wonder how you'll manage seeing them in person without wanting to throw something at them.

My love/hate relationship? We met in Ethiopia. We received our amazing son and they received their amazing daughter. Over the last few years, we've shared many phone calls, emails, snail mail items and even reunion visits. Without knowing what the other was doing, we applied for our second adoption. It wasn't until we both shared the exciting news that our dossier left Canada that we realized what happened. Our dossiers went to Ethiopia in the same docket envelope. How cool was that! We laughed, and prayed, that we'd be having a reunion in Ethiopia as we each picked up our second child.

Quite a few months ago, about five or six months now [I've lost track of time], they received their referral. Their request? An infant boy under 12 months. Our request? A girl under three years of age, being open to siblings if. As we all know, infants take a long time to receive a referral for. So do girls. We were both on the slow track to uniting.

So when they received their referral I was elated. I was thrilled. After a week went by I realized that the jealousy was brewing. I'm over it now, of course, but I did need to get a grip on it. I needed to make sure the words "I hate you for this!" didn't spill out.

Thank goodness we are such good friends and honesty can be had. They know it's not personal for me to be jealous of the situation, and I know it's not like they went out and did it to spite us. We're all good. We're full of hugs. We still miss them and hope to see them soon. They too understand and love us for hating them.

But jealousy can really overwhelm you in this process. All those referrals that happen and as you get closer to the top it still seems so far away. Half way through you wonder if you should be switching countries because another program started. Those families have started and finished with kids at home in less time than a referral wait! Then there's all those people having biological children, leaving you in the dust. Some have two or three kids come home from the hospital while you keep waiting. Theirs only taking 9 months and the whole time they know their due date. When are our due dates?! There's no end date. The time between referral and travel is now just as long as a pregnancy! So once you do get your referral, you really have no idea as to when you get to hold your child in your arms and whisper "I love you".

So yes. Jealousy is a common emotion that rides the adoption rollercoaster with you. Admit it. I know I'm not remotely alone.

PS - for those family members [MOM!] reading this, do not be concerned. I'm doing just fine and jealousy is not a factor at the moment. I'm just talking about realities.

Putting Keyboard to Screen

2010-08-31T22:21:00.000-06:00

Nesting has hit perhaps? I'm not sure. I'm scared of what is happening to me. What does it mean? It's not like I don't have enough on my plate trying to keep house, be a wife, enjoy motherhood, run a dayhome, teach preschool, get my ducks in a row to homeschool grade 1 ... It's now that I finally find the time to sit at the computer and write blog posts? Maybe it's not "find" the time, but "force" the time. Still doesn't seem right though.

This adoption has taken so insanely long. Stop. Has taken? IS TAKING! I think that for the last ~~few months~~ year I have pushed away the blog world. I've posted when needed to, on things like Mikiyas' DOB change or the Provincial lack of approval. Those were solidified events that occurred. They weren't thoughts and dreams. I pretty much ignored the family happenings blog too. I really only kept it up because it's the only way to keep most of the family somewhat in touch with what's going on over here since we seriously don't talk enough.

So why now am I all of a sudden coming up with blog posts again? Why now is my mind filling with ideas of things to write about? Hopefully I find the time to put keyboard to screen before they all disappear. Why now am I starting to not just click on other peoples' blogs to see if there's referrals or anything exciting, but reading them through with heartfelt interest and actually commenting again?

Is it my version of nesting? Is a referral maybe going to happen? As I type those words, this lopsided frown appears on my face and the words "Yeah right!" run through my mind. I don't know. Perhaps. Or maybe I just needed insane busyness again to force me to sit down and empty my thoughts into the blogging world. A form a relaxation? Yeah, that's probably it.

God Found Us You

2010-08-28T13:31:00.000-06:00

Mikiyas has always had a very deep understanding about many things. He has the heart of a man inside of him when it comes to some of the important things, like Family, Adoption, Ethiopia, Hurts of Children, Africa, even AIDS. His knowledge and ability to grasp what every adult should but ~~can't~~ won't when it comes to these things is profound.

I was excited when we received a new children's book from Grandma Hatton. I love children's books. Love them. I have over 400 children's books in my house, and I value them all. But this one brought tears to my eyes and melted my heart. In every perfect way, it describes adoption. It's pages are filled with all the thoughts, reasonings, feelings, words ... that I've not been able to put into the perfect picture that this book displayed. I was excited to share the book with Mikiyas. He asked many questions throughout the reading to be sure that he fully understood what was being said.

God Found Us You is a book about adoption. It is the conversation of a Mama Fox and her Son Fox. They discuss his adoption. How she waited and waited through seasons for him. How it sometimes was hard to see other families together as she waited. How she'd stare off in the distant imaging how he looked, smelled, sounded. How sometimes she felt like giving up but she knew that God just hadn't found him for her yet. And how it was so joyous when God did find him, in his perfect timing. It also explained how his bio-mom [not that term] loved him so much that she made a choice and that they must have prayed so hard for each other as this all happened. It is beautiful.

It is a book I recommend to any adopted family, especially those who truly feel that God perfectly formed your family together. We love it!

Public Again

2010-08-11T12:43:00.002-06:00

This blog has gone public again. Why, because there is a lot of informative information for people new to the adoption world in old posts, especially the Ethiopia process, and many people have emailed me requesting the information again. I've made some changes to the settings and am hoping that my hiatus from the public world will have helped in decreasing all the spam comments. We shall see.

So public world, the blog is back. Please respect it.

PS - encourage me and my blog writing by leaving a comment occasionally to let me know it's still read. Maybe then I'll start posting more often again on this one and the other one.

Country Update

2010-08-05T07:43:00.004-06:00

We received the Country Update from CAFAC today. UGH!! Can we say FULL of bad news?!

Aside from the fact that there has been no movement with respect to court dates, referrals and pick ups in the last month, thereby keeping us at approximately number 29 on the list waiting for a referral, the adoption fees have been substantially increased [in USD] per child.

I understand the increase. It is very thoroughly explained and needed. The main reason is the time between referral and picking up your child has lengthened. You used to be able to pick up your child withing 4 to 6 months after referral. Now, it's generally 6 to 10 months after referral. Fees need to be increased to have the extended care paid for. In addition, inflation rates have destroyed the economy there.

However, it is quite the blow to swallow. Adoptions are ferociously expensive to begin with. But it was only a few months ago that Ethiopia High Courts announced that adoptive parents must attend court. We just wrapped that huge increase in costs around our heads [having to make two trips to Ethiopia per adoption] ... and now to be hit with this.

The frustration is definitely there for us. But, we're not closing the door. We're not walking away. We'll come up with the funds one way or another ... I believe the word is CREDIT! Banks do love adoptive families.

God has and is always faithful and we believe he will continue to provide for this adoption.

Snails

2010-07-09T19:45:00.005-06:00

It's July 9 today. I can't believe that our Dossier has been in Ethiopia for a whopping 25 months. Amazingly, the sadness, depression, frustration etc. is a pretty rare feeling. The days fly by so fast that it's only when I look at the calendar and think of how long it's been that I want to yell at the wall.

So what does July 9 signify? It means that today ... finally ... we got our provincial approval in the mail.

How long ago did we move to Alberta? 19 1/2 months ago

How long ago did we do our homestudy update? one year ago to the day

It appears that everything in this adoption is moving slower than a snail. However, given that snails generally live between 5 to 25 years, I do hope we pick up speed.

Reviewing the past few months of country updates from CAFAC, we estimated the other day that a referral could possibly come in approximately 3 to 4 months. However, that doesn't mean that it'll happen right at that point. We all know we should never bother estimating because all that does is break your heart. We're hoping sooner than 3 to 4 months [duh!], but we know it could also happen next year. And so could the rapture.

So that's where we're at. TWENTY-FIVE months and counting since DTE. THIRTY months and counting since we started this adoption.

But, we are blessed with the wonderful news that our provincial approval arrived today. That's a much needed, and very delayed, step in all of this. Now, to send it and all the other stale-dated information off to CAFAC! Will do that first thing Monday morning.

some joy brings sadness with it

2010-06-14T13:18:00.004-06:00

I received some very delightful news from a cousin of mine. And I say cousin, but she's not just my cousin. We are friends. She is a very wonderful person who holds a special spot in my life. So when I received her special news that she is pregnant again, I was thrilled. I even let out a little squeal. I kind of expected it would happen soon, but even then, it still is exciting.

But with it came some sadness. My sadness. And it didn't take to set in. I didn't shed a tear; I didn't mope about [surprisingly]; I just pondered.

Her parents will become grandparents FIVE times over in the time it has taken me to bring ONE child home. Hard to believe some times. Mind you, the grandparents have two daughters giving them these beautiful grandchildren, and I am just one, but even still. It was a statistic I didn't like realizing.

So now that the two year mark has come and gone since our DTE and we're working on the 25th month, I have a heart ache. The heart ache has finally set in. I'm out of paperwork to shuffle for the umpteenth time. I'm out of updates to magically get together in minimum time. I'm out of things to mail to agencies and appointments to attend.

This too shall pass....

TWO YEARS

2010-05-31T02:10:00.003-06:00

May 31, 2010 marks a few anniversaries:

1. Lyle's gets another year older ... of course, more candles than two.

2. Three years since Mikiyas arrived to Canada ... home forever!

3. Two and a half years since we started adoption 2.

4. Two years since our dossier arrived on Ethiopian soil and our referral wait officially began.

May 31 appears to be quite a special day. A mixed bag of emotions if I must say.

So now that our DOB change for Mikiyas is legal, there's hasn't been much to post about on here [like I've had the time anyway!]. We are STILL working on getting our paperwork updated for the province. Having to re-do our medical report meant finding a new doctor that would be willing to fill it out knowing nothing about us. We found one successfully, but in order for him to honestly complete the report, it meant reviewing past records from our previous doctor, doing complete physicals and lab work ...... and we're still waiting for the reports.

But, although it's been a complete headache, and annoyance, there's been a ray of sunshine behind the ugly curtain. Having passed two years in the referral wait means all the paperwork in Ethiopia has to be updated as it's stale dated. So it just meant that we got a head start on re-doing it all.

HOWEVER, re-doing paperwork for Ethiopia would not hinder a referral. Re-doing paperwork for the province and their lost file does. So yes, we're still very much annoyed by that.

Longing for Citizenship Changes

2010-05-25T10:04:00.003-06:00

I'm a little late in getting this link posted up as we were away. Our family, along with several other Canadian adoptive families, with researcher / reporter Darcie Buzelle, have been working together to share our experiences with citizenship in hopes that changes can be made in international adoptions.

Full Article: CANADIANS ADOPTING ABROAD
Just our story: SHERI & LYLE

Please visit the link and spread it around. You can read our story, and the stories of others being stuck in adoption nightmares. And really, our story of an age dispute is really nothing in comparison to what some people have been enduring.

It is finished!!

2010-04-26T12:54:00.003-06:00

The battle with Citizenship over Mikiyas' age is done. Woo hoo. He is now legally five years old. He'll legally turn six in September. This is very exciting. If not for the MP involvement though, I know it wouldn't have finished like it did.

But, all the steps that I did take, needed to be done.

There were quite a few people at one point that were waiting to hear how my "adventure" would end so they could take the same road. If you're still out there, let me know. If anyone needs to know the steps and what has to be sent, I'll post it up.

April showers bring May flowers.

2010-04-13T22:01:00.000-06:00

Really? Apparently not in Airdrie. April snow storms bring what? Yes, we have snow storms. Lots of wind too.

So aside from weather, what else has April been bringing?

April brought us news from the MP that CIC will finally acknowledge Mikiyas' correct DOB, and they will be making it legal. Hopefully, they will follow through with their words! Until I see it, I still struggle with accepting it.

April brought us crap news in the Provincial round of paperwork. Hopefully May will produce flowers in that department. However, we may have to wait until June since we can't even get in to see a doctor we've never seen before to do our medical checks until May. This puts us behind by at least two months. Seriously! CAFAC has assured us they will do everything they can to make sure we are not bypassed on our referral. If one should come in from Ethiopia, they will contact the province directly to try to assist in pushing things along. However, all of this, with the additional court date / extra trip has made us realize that it will be unlikely we will actually bring our child[ren] home during the year 2010.

April brought us Easter. One of the greatest times to celebrate life, love, forgiveness and grace.

April brought us a visit with Grandma Tractor.

April has brought us the yearly anxieties. We're coming up on having Mikiyas home 3 years. There are days that it feels like yesterday, and there are days that seem like it's been forever. But it's been perfect. Every day is a gift from God. Every year is a miracle. It is those pleasantries that I try to recall during the moments the anxieties take over. It is especially noticeable at bed time. For those of you who don't remember, or never read our other blog, Mikiyas struggled severely with falling asleep when he came home. There were some heavy fears and anxieties associated with that. Every April, they resurface in his subconscious. He doesn't realize it, and until it happens and we question "what's up with that boy?!", we tend to forget that it happens. As mid-May comes, things get worse [Gotchya Day was May 23]. Come the end of the May, things usually return to normal [we arrived home on May 31]. We are people who try not to read into everything as 'adoption related' but some things just are. Some children don't go through things like this, some do.

Welcome to April! MONTH 23. THAT'S RIGHT. MONTH 23. Didn't they say we'd receive a referral between the 18th and 23rd month?!

May flowers. May flowers. May flowers. May flowers. May flowers. May flowers. May flowers. May flowers. May flowers. May flowers. May flowers. May flowers. May flowers. May flowers. May flowers. May flowers. May flowers. May flowers. May flowers. May flowers. May flowers. May flowers. May flowers.

I'm Beyond FRUSTRATED

2010-04-08T17:17:00.002-06:00

So yes, earlier today the post went up about how we received good news about the Court trip to Ethiopia.

Leave it to the government to change my mood!!

The Province ... Oh The Province.

We've lived in Alberta for 16 months now.
We signed on with an adoption agency 15 1/2 months ago.
We did all our background checks in Spring and early Summer of last year.
We had our homestudy update done 9 months ago.

I posted previously about the late provincial approval, but that we were finally approved to be parents in the province of Alberta. Well ... I TAKE IT ALL BACK!!! I left some holes, but basically I politely let on that the Province had lost our paperwork and that was the reason for the delay and the reason our agency had to do a SECOND HOMESTUDY REPORT JUST LAST MONTH.

I AM NO LONGER WANTING TO BE POLITE. I AM SO PO'D!!!

So although they said they'd send the letter, they didn't. Although they said we were approved, I guess we're not.

They now want another set of criminal record checks, intervention checks and medical reports done. THE LAST ONES WERE DONE LESS THAN A YEAR AGO!!! Well, except for the medical reports. So because they lost the stuff, we have to do it all again. WE'RE THE ONES WHO HAVE TO ENDURE THE STRESS, THE PAPERWORK, AND SPEND EVEN MORE MONEY!! WE DON'T EVEN HAVE A DOCTOR TO DO A MEDICAL REPORT ON OUR HISTORY! They lost it all so it all became outdated.

I can't type anymore..... you get where I'm coming from. Good thing the blog went private!

Two trips to Ethiopia

2010-04-08T13:46:00.002-06:00

I had been going over in my mind, over and over, a blog post and how I felt about two trips to Ethiopia for this adoption ... something I had never dreamed of doing.

Lyle and I have been praying and hoping that only one person would need to attend the court hearing. That would be much more cost effective and a much less hardship on our employments. We discussed and ... surprise ... we figured Lyle would be the one to go to court, if we were allowed to have just one parent. Two reasons:

1. He's earned the holidays now at work, and can afford to take a week off to attend court. He would also still be able to take the three weeks off needed to return to Ethiopia to pick up our child[ren]. I have dayhome families and it's not so easy to find temporary replacements for each of them, especially without running the risk of returning and not having any clients at all.

2. If I go, Mikiyas has to come with me or be put in a dayhome for a week. Ugh to both! More importantly, being a mom, I will find it completely unbearable to meet our child[ren] and have to return home without her/them. I said to Lyle "Sorry, but you can suffer with that! I can't.".

But, since no referral has come yet, we decided it was not worth the stress and frustration to worry about it yet. So we didn't bother to check in with CAFAC on whether both or one parent could attend court. Besides, they said once they heard more they'd let us know. We've lost no sleep.

Today, we got the word from CAFAC, without even prodding them. Only one parent needs to attend court. YAY! This is very good news.

Now, what about the possibility of repeated court dates if birth family / police / orphanage directors / paperwork etc. doesn't show up at court??? That was a big concern I initially had. Well, this was addressed too. There will be two court processes:

- Part 1 of the court process will be attended as applicable by birth family, orphanage director, witnesses, police, MOWA, and any other persons or entities that can attest to the child being relinquished, abandoned, or orphaned.

- Part 2 of the court process will follow in approximately 6 weeks. The Adoptive Family will be required to attend this court date.

This means court will only happen once for the traveling parent. YAY. Another answer to prayer.

So although this court attendance brings about financial frustration and such, we are prepared and ready to deal with it. We're comfortable with the news now. We wish it didn't have to happen just because adoptions are expensive to begin with, but nonetheless, we move forward.

Someone had asked me how far in we were in financially for this adoption. I couldn't help but wonder ... are they asking because they think I should back out so not to incur the additional expense of this second trip to Ethiopia. Well, to answer the question for anyone else wondering, we are not even considering that and never have. I am sure some families that do have to consider this, and may have to even cancel their adoption because it is SO expensive. But Lyle and I have arrangements in place with our bank that we will not have to withdraw our adoption. It's called DEBT and if we have to go further in it to bring our family together, we're willing to do that.

So that's the update ... now where is that referral? It's been more than 22 months!

Citizenship DOB Change Update

2010-04-02T13:33:00.002-06:00

Another update ... and hopefully there will only be one more after this!!

The MP has had success. CIC has agreed to fix Mikiyas age on the Citizenship card. I had to ask - fix the new card to be the "correct incorrect date" or fix the new card to be the "correct real date".

They're going to make Mikiyas legally his real age!! They're going to give him his September birth date!! They're going to make my life easier!! Who would have thought? After two years of battling this, we are going to have success.

So, before they issue the newest card and make it all legal, I had to send them back the most recent Citizenship card. They cannot have two cards floating about for one person. Can't say I blame them really with all the fraud that happens these days.

When I got the news, I wanted to cry, scream, shout and hug every person in that office. This is an exhilarating feeling. So next update will hopefully be to say it's officially legal. A part of me is still expecting another screw up ......... think positive!!

Court Dates in Ethiopia

2010-04-01T19:29:00.004-06:00

Here is the updated info we received from our agency. It's not exactly pleasant news:

We have had an update on the court meetings that were held in Addis Ababa on March 31, 2010 with adoption agencies and the court present as well as other parties to the Adoption process.

The court has determined that May 9th, 2010 will be the start date for adoptive parents having to report to court. The full details on exactly how this will be arranged etc have not been forwarded yet. Certainly this is going to create more forward planning for families and CAFAC staff to coordinate.