Tuesday February 21 was the night of our first parenting course. It was canceled. The instructor was in a skiing accident so the start date has been postponed by one week.
Sunday February 26 was to be our second last meeting with our social worker. That has been canceled and will not be rescheduled. Our next meeting is on March 11 and it is still scheduled to be our last meeting. She has a lot of faith in us and thinks we're just marvelous people. In reality, after reviewing what was left to go over with us, only one more meeting is required.
Last night we had our annual general meeting for the Strata in our townhouse complex. We advised the group that we were adopting and our plans for the garage sale. We had a great response and a lot of support from our neighbours. It will be a blessing bringing our child home to grow up in this area. Oh and I am now on the strata council.
Punjabi is going well. I am really enjoying learning another language. Once I know enough I will start using it at work. It will be a great feeling in the stores once I start picking up on what people are saying around me. I'll start to feel accomplishments. Right now the alphabet, numbers and a few phrases isn't getting me much.
Saturday we have our second day of the Transracial Parenting seminar. We have completed the Sunrise educational component [HALLELUJAH!]. I have finished my one essay and Lyle is finishing up his. We just have our joint essay to complete and half of our CAFAC educational component now. Once our CAFAC education is completed we actually receive a certificate. After the seven week parenting course we will be done learning everything required for the adoption at this stage.
We have now gathered all the materials required of us for our dossier. The only outstanding items that are still needed before it goes to Ethiopia are the homestudy report from our social worker and the provincial approval letter from our agency. Once those items are done / received the dossier package goes to CAFAC in Manitoba. They make sure everything is perfect and have documents stamped / approved in Ottawa. Ottawa returns those documents to CAFAC and off to Ethiopia the dossier is shipped. We are hoping and praying that this process will be completed by June 2006. We then wait and pray for our child referral. This can take as long as a year. The longest psychological pregnancy around! It'd be a blessing to receive our referral for Christmas. How ironic. Our two longest pregnancies and most dramatic miscarriages occurred at Christmas. Could God's timing perhaps heal so many wounds at once? We can only pray.
We need to remember to look at our life's experiences as good things, not always bad things. They can be very rough to go through. They can rip your heart in two and make you wonder if it's worth living. But, you can make them good. Those experiences can only be what you make of them. We are the final deciders of whether those experiences were / will be good or bad. Once we see the lessons God is giving us, we can take the lessons and apply them to our lives. How we apply them is up to each of us as individuals. It's usually when we least expect it that we realize "it is finished".
By no means am I perfectly optimistic - just ask Lyle, my mother or the girls I work with. Every time I go through something horrible though, like my miscarriages, I have to remind myself that God really does have something better on the other side. Look at us now ... dreams are in the midst of being fulfilled.
During my fourth miscarriage I experienced an odd situation bringing contentment to me in a way I had never expected. I was put on twenty-four hour watch so I had to stay at someone's house as there was not enough beds at the hospital and Lyle was working four jobs to pay the bills. The lady I stayed with was not a Christian. I was reading a Max Lucado book that was so encouraging about God's plan. I sat in the chair by the fire place staring at the Christmas tree. At the same time as understanding what I was reading and God's timing in it, I was truly angry at the world and God once again. Why should I not be? Why do all these unwanted pregnancies happen? Why do all these people raise kids they really don't want? Why should someone like me, desiring to have a family, continually face shattered dreams? The lady started asking me questions about what I was reading. I had a choice to make: I could take the opportunity to share Christ with this lady in the midst of "disaster" or I could simply tell her the words I was reading knowing she wouldn't accept them if I couldn't accept them myself. To share a message with someone when you don't believe it or accept yourself is like evangelizing to the paint on the wall. I grasped the words I read and made the choice. I chose to accept the encouragement I read as words spoken right to me from God. I was able to share with her that it is through God's strength that I was going to see glory from the situation. That although it was difficult to again go through it, I knew that God was not leaving me. That His plan was so much greater. That it was not because I was a bad person. I was able to share that if one good thing came out of that miscarriage that would glorify God or help another person, than it would be worth every tear shed, every drop of blood lost and every needle poked into my arm [and there were many]. I made the choice to make it a good experience.
And I have been blessed. I have been blessed to know that I planted a seed on a wall of stone. I continue to share my story when God prompts me to and it blesses others in their times of need. Each time I know that He will continue to provide water to those seeds. I have chosen to grow. I have chosen to accept God's walk, although not always straight and easy, and in turn I am blessed. Now look at us ... we're on the road to adopting our child from Ethiopia and we are excited!!
And now we must pray that God's timing will continue to be perfect. That we will be patient. That countries adopting will not close. That our referral will be perfect for us. That our child will be strong and healthy and full of love and compassion. That we will have our family! A friend of mine recently wrote to me "Love does not hurt, the absence of it is what does". It is so true. I remember explaining to people that you get married and feel complete. You have the love of your life and you think there's nothing more. Then ... you get pregnant and you realize there really is more. So much more. You realize you weren't entirely complete. The love for a child, whether unborn or born, is phenomenal. Then you have it ripped away. The absence of that love is what hurts. And each time I was pregnant thereafter we hesitated. Do we attach? Do we love what is growing inside? Will it be ripped away again?
Sunday February 26 was to be our second last meeting with our social worker. That has been canceled and will not be rescheduled. Our next meeting is on March 11 and it is still scheduled to be our last meeting. She has a lot of faith in us and thinks we're just marvelous people. In reality, after reviewing what was left to go over with us, only one more meeting is required.
Last night we had our annual general meeting for the Strata in our townhouse complex. We advised the group that we were adopting and our plans for the garage sale. We had a great response and a lot of support from our neighbours. It will be a blessing bringing our child home to grow up in this area. Oh and I am now on the strata council.
Punjabi is going well. I am really enjoying learning another language. Once I know enough I will start using it at work. It will be a great feeling in the stores once I start picking up on what people are saying around me. I'll start to feel accomplishments. Right now the alphabet, numbers and a few phrases isn't getting me much.
Saturday we have our second day of the Transracial Parenting seminar. We have completed the Sunrise educational component [HALLELUJAH!]. I have finished my one essay and Lyle is finishing up his. We just have our joint essay to complete and half of our CAFAC educational component now. Once our CAFAC education is completed we actually receive a certificate. After the seven week parenting course we will be done learning everything required for the adoption at this stage.
We have now gathered all the materials required of us for our dossier. The only outstanding items that are still needed before it goes to Ethiopia are the homestudy report from our social worker and the provincial approval letter from our agency. Once those items are done / received the dossier package goes to CAFAC in Manitoba. They make sure everything is perfect and have documents stamped / approved in Ottawa. Ottawa returns those documents to CAFAC and off to Ethiopia the dossier is shipped. We are hoping and praying that this process will be completed by June 2006. We then wait and pray for our child referral. This can take as long as a year. The longest psychological pregnancy around! It'd be a blessing to receive our referral for Christmas. How ironic. Our two longest pregnancies and most dramatic miscarriages occurred at Christmas. Could God's timing perhaps heal so many wounds at once? We can only pray.
We need to remember to look at our life's experiences as good things, not always bad things. They can be very rough to go through. They can rip your heart in two and make you wonder if it's worth living. But, you can make them good. Those experiences can only be what you make of them. We are the final deciders of whether those experiences were / will be good or bad. Once we see the lessons God is giving us, we can take the lessons and apply them to our lives. How we apply them is up to each of us as individuals. It's usually when we least expect it that we realize "it is finished".
By no means am I perfectly optimistic - just ask Lyle, my mother or the girls I work with. Every time I go through something horrible though, like my miscarriages, I have to remind myself that God really does have something better on the other side. Look at us now ... dreams are in the midst of being fulfilled.
During my fourth miscarriage I experienced an odd situation bringing contentment to me in a way I had never expected. I was put on twenty-four hour watch so I had to stay at someone's house as there was not enough beds at the hospital and Lyle was working four jobs to pay the bills. The lady I stayed with was not a Christian. I was reading a Max Lucado book that was so encouraging about God's plan. I sat in the chair by the fire place staring at the Christmas tree. At the same time as understanding what I was reading and God's timing in it, I was truly angry at the world and God once again. Why should I not be? Why do all these unwanted pregnancies happen? Why do all these people raise kids they really don't want? Why should someone like me, desiring to have a family, continually face shattered dreams? The lady started asking me questions about what I was reading. I had a choice to make: I could take the opportunity to share Christ with this lady in the midst of "disaster" or I could simply tell her the words I was reading knowing she wouldn't accept them if I couldn't accept them myself. To share a message with someone when you don't believe it or accept yourself is like evangelizing to the paint on the wall. I grasped the words I read and made the choice. I chose to accept the encouragement I read as words spoken right to me from God. I was able to share with her that it is through God's strength that I was going to see glory from the situation. That although it was difficult to again go through it, I knew that God was not leaving me. That His plan was so much greater. That it was not because I was a bad person. I was able to share that if one good thing came out of that miscarriage that would glorify God or help another person, than it would be worth every tear shed, every drop of blood lost and every needle poked into my arm [and there were many]. I made the choice to make it a good experience.
And I have been blessed. I have been blessed to know that I planted a seed on a wall of stone. I continue to share my story when God prompts me to and it blesses others in their times of need. Each time I know that He will continue to provide water to those seeds. I have chosen to grow. I have chosen to accept God's walk, although not always straight and easy, and in turn I am blessed. Now look at us ... we're on the road to adopting our child from Ethiopia and we are excited!!
And now we must pray that God's timing will continue to be perfect. That we will be patient. That countries adopting will not close. That our referral will be perfect for us. That our child will be strong and healthy and full of love and compassion. That we will have our family! A friend of mine recently wrote to me "Love does not hurt, the absence of it is what does". It is so true. I remember explaining to people that you get married and feel complete. You have the love of your life and you think there's nothing more. Then ... you get pregnant and you realize there really is more. So much more. You realize you weren't entirely complete. The love for a child, whether unborn or born, is phenomenal. Then you have it ripped away. The absence of that love is what hurts. And each time I was pregnant thereafter we hesitated. Do we attach? Do we love what is growing inside? Will it be ripped away again?
We have chosen to love. We already have so much love growing for a child that we will not meet for about another year. So join us in our excitement. Join us in building a love for a child that may not even be conceived yet. Continue to pray and share our story! God bless each of you!
3 comments:
You're both stronger than you could imagine... blessings on you both and you know I'll keep praying for you and the process!
Greetings - I have very much enjoyed reading all of your updates. God is amazing in how he open doors when other doors are closed. You guys are growing and experiencing God's timing in many different avenues of your lives right now. Keep trusting in God even when it seems impossible.
Lorna & Leona
Hi Sheri,
I've been reading your blog and just imagining a child of Ethiopian origin in your home........
what a blessing this will be for this child, and for you & Lyle. You said something so profound in one recent entry: 'Can God heal all those hurts in one moment'...... something like that.
Yes He can, and He does. He did it for all the world in that moment of resurrection, when all the sins of past present and future people were taken away, which is so hard for many people to comprehend. Thanks for sharing your experiences and thoughts with everyone.
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