Parenting with Pizazz

We went to the Parenting with Pizazz seminar on Friday [February 3]. It was interesting and of course we learned very valuable tips. Some of the stories that were shared about raising an adopted child can be very eye opening.

Raising an adopted child can be much different than raising a biological child. It’s not to say that we will go through everything they warn us about or that this and that is inevitably going to happen to us. It is to say that things can be very difficult though. We are going to have the obvious racial difference that cannot be denied each time you look in the mirror. We are also going to have the not so obvious issues that never cross most peoples’ minds, including ours.

The lecturer gave a couple prime examples: One boy they adopted at nine months old came from a foster home. I think it was about four years later that the family decided to move. The movers came to her and advised that there was something growing in the house. She of course went to look. In the boy’s closet under a shelf was food and mold. He was still hording food in case he ever became hungry or didn’t get fed enough. Who would have thought that a nine month old child would have been affected so much that even now, as an adult, he still struggles with it. I believe it was the same boy that said to the social worker during a home assessment for another adoption that referred to her as “the woman upstairs” when asked where his mother was.

Another example was dealing with eye contact. Not having enough eye contact in the orphanages [which actually is a problem with biological children when the tv is becoming so predominant in households] means very little eye contact when you bring your child home. You have to teach your child [ways to teach were provided but I won’t get into it here] how to have eye contact with you.

Some children have developmental problems in ways you wouldn’t imagine. In a lot of orphanages children are not given the opportunity to crawl. They go from sitting in a crib to walking. Crawling is what actually teaches a child hand eye coordination and develops the skills for things such as handwriting. Children at ages when they should be standing on their own and able to use their fingers are still rolling on the floor hardly able to hold themselves up and scooping their food with their hands.

It was emphasized though that most adopted families will not go through these types of struggles, or any struggles at all. We are being prepared for the worst as these difficulties can happen. They are things we need to be aware of and be willing to accept.

At the seminar a pediatrician also spoke. She is one of very few pediatricians who specializes in adoptees. We thought we would post information she had on her slide presentations:

	Statistics	Reality
Infections	?	28%	1/3 needed meds
Stool Parasites	9 – 24%	6%
Scabies / Lice	?	7%
Hepatitis	3 – 20%	4%	only Hep A
TB	6 – 29%	1%	1 child, no meds
HIV	0%	0%
Eyes	27%	15%
Rickets	?	8%
Hypothyroid	6%	4%	due to non-iodized salt
Lead	?	4%
Hearing	2%	2%
Other	?	10%

You can see that children being adopted from other countries are actually coming with less problems than the past statistical warnings. It is comforting to know this and thought many of you would feel at ease. The reality statistics come from the Pediatrician’s work in BC since December 2002 and are current to January 2006.

It has been suggested in the past that for every three months a child is institutionalized, there is one month of developmental delay. In actuality, she has found that after twelve to sixteen months of being institutionalized there was only two months of delay no matter what the age of the child was.

We changed the link to the right named Ethiopia. This new one has much more information and you can even listen to the radio on line. That's all for now ... until next time.