I received some very delightful news from a cousin of mine. And I say cousin, but she's not just my cousin. We are friends. She is a very wonderful person who holds a special spot in my life. So when I received her special news that she is pregnant again, I was thrilled. I even let out a little squeal. I kind of expected it would happen soon, but even then, it still is exciting.
But with it came some sadness. My sadness. And it didn't take to set in. I didn't shed a tear; I didn't mope about [surprisingly]; I just pondered.
Her parents will become grandparents FIVE times over in the time it has taken me to bring ONE child home. Hard to believe some times. Mind you, the grandparents have two daughters giving them these beautiful grandchildren, and I am just one, but even still. It was a statistic I didn't like realizing.
So now that the two year mark has come and gone since our DTE and we're working on the 25th month, I have a heart ache. The heart ache has finally set in. I'm out of paperwork to shuffle for the umpteenth time. I'm out of updates to magically get together in minimum time. I'm out of things to mail to agencies and appointments to attend.
This too shall pass....
But with it came some sadness. My sadness. And it didn't take to set in. I didn't shed a tear; I didn't mope about [surprisingly]; I just pondered.
Her parents will become grandparents FIVE times over in the time it has taken me to bring ONE child home. Hard to believe some times. Mind you, the grandparents have two daughters giving them these beautiful grandchildren, and I am just one, but even still. It was a statistic I didn't like realizing.
So now that the two year mark has come and gone since our DTE and we're working on the 25th month, I have a heart ache. The heart ache has finally set in. I'm out of paperwork to shuffle for the umpteenth time. I'm out of updates to magically get together in minimum time. I'm out of things to mail to agencies and appointments to attend.
This too shall pass....
5 comments:
This, too, shall pass.
This, too, will make you stronger.
This, too, will be worth the wait and the heartache it brings you now.
Think of the future and of all the joys you will share with your children for years and years to come.
This is just your path to that achieving lifetime of joy. :)
This too shall pass....but it sucks in the meantime. Eat chocolate, exercise, journal, and all those good things help.
I think it's perfectly healthy for you to feel this way. It's OK to be sad, and even a bit mad once in a while. This wait will make you feel even so much more grateful when your time does come.
I completely understand the sadness and like others have said, it is o.k.
We have friends who have adopted and given birth in the same time we have been waiting...some days are just hard, even when there is joy.
Oh, I know this feeling all too well. I often see co-workers become pregnant, go on mat. leave, come back, get pregnant AGAIN, and go on a second mat. leave - while I just sit and watch them all pass me by...
I must believe that our time will come...right?
L
Post a Comment