Lyle's Individual Interview:
It wasn't as scary as I anticipated even though I didn't let on that I was a bit nervous. We sat down, me with coffee, her with her pen and books. I proceeded to tell her my life story. In twenty-five seconds I was done. Actually, it was about two hours long. Our social worker made it very comfortable for me to talk. We flew through what could have been an extremely long night. She was surprised that I talked as much as I did. Perhaps it's a revelation to Sheri that she doesn't let me get a word in edgewise. In reality though, Sheri has a gift of being able to express things for me that I find difficult putting to words. That's probably why it turned into a couple hours. Sheri wasn't there to interpret my mutterings as she was babysitting our friends' little girl [she wasn't allowed to be there anyway]. In short though, the interview went very well. What can I say, I'm perfect. On Friday we'll be able to determine the level of insanity in my wife when she has her interview.
~ Lyle
Saturday Seminar:
We attended our first seminar "Building Skills for Transracial Parenting". It was very informative on many different levels. Some things do not necessarily apply; some things will be very valuable; and some things we both feel are over done. Most sessions were based upon racism. We do agree that it is something we are going to experience with our child. We can only imagine the horrible names and comments that will be heard. It is inevitable that our child will come home from school, even kindergarten, with a story that will break our hearts. The seminars will continue to raise our awareness of just how ugly the world can get.
We were taught different skills in approaching / dealing with racism. A very important thing to do is to make sure our child understands as best he/she can at a young age that it exists and that it's wrong. Yet at the same time [and in disagreement to some extent with what was shared at the seminar] we don't want our child looking for racism or expecting it. A Caucasian person may be having a bad day at work and provide poor service. That does not mean that it is an act of racism. Overdoing expectations can result in taking personal every comment or action. In reality, there is nothing done wrongly in this world that cannot be taken as racism if read into incorrectly. We need to find a balance ~ that happy medium. Exploring racism with our child and our friends and family yet not allowing our child to expect it to happen every time he/she steps out the door. Some kids at school are going to be bullies no matter color your skin is. We are blessed that times have changed ~ things have improved to some extent. We are also blessed to be living in a very multicultural country.
Following the seminar two exciting things happened for us.
Firstly, there was an adult adoptee from Vietnam that shared his experience of being a transracial adoptee. I recognized him right away. I met him eleven years prior through a mutual friend. It was an exciting reunion and hopefully the beginning of a renewed friendship. He and Lyle got along great. Some day in the near future we will be getting together with he and his wife for dinner.
Secondly, we went shopping. At the end of the seminar we bought four children's books that are fun ways of discussing transracial and adoption issues. They're very cute books that are easy to read and will hopefully be useful tools in the future. We were recommended to buy Robert Munsch books too. He is the parent of an adopted African American girl so his illustrations include all different ethnicities and families, including his own. The shopping continued though. We found a stroller that we love and in the future will look at purchasing. We bought the bedding for the crib and are very happy with that.
I know, I know ~ why the rush? Some things we just want to buy ourselves. We have ideas and images of things that we are looking for. As well, when you are continually shoving your nose in a book, buying something, even a pair of baby socks, can be an exciting adventure to remind you of what you are really doing. We don't get doctor's appointments, ultra sounds, lamas classes and a growing belly. We get paper work, forms, interviews, paper work, questions, text books, essays, paper work, seminars, classes, and an enormous amount of reading. Some times going to the store to "window shop" and occasionally buy an item or two refreshes your excitement. The process can be discouraging at times as the end has yet to be in sight. Shopping is all we have at times.
Well, that's a wrap. Take care and God bless. Another post will appear this weekend after my individual interview.
~ Sheri
It wasn't as scary as I anticipated even though I didn't let on that I was a bit nervous. We sat down, me with coffee, her with her pen and books. I proceeded to tell her my life story. In twenty-five seconds I was done. Actually, it was about two hours long. Our social worker made it very comfortable for me to talk. We flew through what could have been an extremely long night. She was surprised that I talked as much as I did. Perhaps it's a revelation to Sheri that she doesn't let me get a word in edgewise. In reality though, Sheri has a gift of being able to express things for me that I find difficult putting to words. That's probably why it turned into a couple hours. Sheri wasn't there to interpret my mutterings as she was babysitting our friends' little girl [she wasn't allowed to be there anyway]. In short though, the interview went very well. What can I say, I'm perfect. On Friday we'll be able to determine the level of insanity in my wife when she has her interview.
~ Lyle
Saturday Seminar:
We attended our first seminar "Building Skills for Transracial Parenting". It was very informative on many different levels. Some things do not necessarily apply; some things will be very valuable; and some things we both feel are over done. Most sessions were based upon racism. We do agree that it is something we are going to experience with our child. We can only imagine the horrible names and comments that will be heard. It is inevitable that our child will come home from school, even kindergarten, with a story that will break our hearts. The seminars will continue to raise our awareness of just how ugly the world can get.
We were taught different skills in approaching / dealing with racism. A very important thing to do is to make sure our child understands as best he/she can at a young age that it exists and that it's wrong. Yet at the same time [and in disagreement to some extent with what was shared at the seminar] we don't want our child looking for racism or expecting it. A Caucasian person may be having a bad day at work and provide poor service. That does not mean that it is an act of racism. Overdoing expectations can result in taking personal every comment or action. In reality, there is nothing done wrongly in this world that cannot be taken as racism if read into incorrectly. We need to find a balance ~ that happy medium. Exploring racism with our child and our friends and family yet not allowing our child to expect it to happen every time he/she steps out the door. Some kids at school are going to be bullies no matter color your skin is. We are blessed that times have changed ~ things have improved to some extent. We are also blessed to be living in a very multicultural country.
Following the seminar two exciting things happened for us.
Firstly, there was an adult adoptee from Vietnam that shared his experience of being a transracial adoptee. I recognized him right away. I met him eleven years prior through a mutual friend. It was an exciting reunion and hopefully the beginning of a renewed friendship. He and Lyle got along great. Some day in the near future we will be getting together with he and his wife for dinner.
Secondly, we went shopping. At the end of the seminar we bought four children's books that are fun ways of discussing transracial and adoption issues. They're very cute books that are easy to read and will hopefully be useful tools in the future. We were recommended to buy Robert Munsch books too. He is the parent of an adopted African American girl so his illustrations include all different ethnicities and families, including his own. The shopping continued though. We found a stroller that we love and in the future will look at purchasing. We bought the bedding for the crib and are very happy with that.
I know, I know ~ why the rush? Some things we just want to buy ourselves. We have ideas and images of things that we are looking for. As well, when you are continually shoving your nose in a book, buying something, even a pair of baby socks, can be an exciting adventure to remind you of what you are really doing. We don't get doctor's appointments, ultra sounds, lamas classes and a growing belly. We get paper work, forms, interviews, paper work, questions, text books, essays, paper work, seminars, classes, and an enormous amount of reading. Some times going to the store to "window shop" and occasionally buy an item or two refreshes your excitement. The process can be discouraging at times as the end has yet to be in sight. Shopping is all we have at times.
Well, that's a wrap. Take care and God bless. Another post will appear this weekend after my individual interview.
~ Sheri
3 comments:
I definitely agree with you about how buying something early on can help build up the anticipation and excitement for what is coming up. Heather is doing that now with packing up a few boxes to start getting ready for moving back to Calgary in June.
Speaking of Robert Munsch, he lives here in Guelph. I think Heather saw him at the store once.
Thanks for the updates, I love reading about your journey.
Thanks for the update on the blogger, I enjoyed reading what you posted. I think its great that you are enjoying your journey and that you are giving your readers an understanding of what you are missing as well as what you are doing.
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