Adoption is a Choice too!

We've been questioned throughout our adoption process "Why?" and "What made you want to adopt?" Well, I will try my best to answer that, without sounding too defensive.

Each day I look at the pictures of Mikiyas and I smile. Sometimes tears fill my eyes. Sometimes I just grin ear to ear. I think of him every day. I think of the future. I see him in our home. I feel him in my arms. I dream of hearing his voice. I picture seeing him with Lyle. And each day my heart hurts, longing to have him home. Each day I miss him more and more. I'm missing another moment. I'm missing another day of his life.

Since his referral I've had an itch to move again. I've only been in this house for a little over a year. I think it's because it no longer feels like home. My heart isn't in it anymore. It's with Mikiyas.

Adoption is a choice. Yes, maybe we have had some pregnancy issues in the past. But don't forget, we did get the green light to have biological children. They do figure they know what's wrong. But there's still that risk I'll get horribly sick again and have another miscarriage. But then the question is, isn't that worth it for your child? Yes, I agree it can be.

Adoption was a dream, possibly more so for me than Lyle, but we decided to move forward with it together. It began many years ago. It was a seed God planted at an early age for me. It is a way to form a family; a way we have chosen.

If it was so important for us to have that a biological child - that blood link - do you not think we would have done fertility drugs or in-vitro? It's not like those options are not in the same financial league as adoption. A blood link isn't what makes a family. It is hearts being united that make a family. It is the connection. Just think of the number of people you have said "he was like a brother to me" or "they're like family". Yet they look nothing like you. They don't share your blood line. Even in-laws are family - a hard pill for some of you to swallow. One definition off the internet says a family is "a domestic group of people".

For those of you have not or will not be adopting, and for those who plan to adopt but question whether you can love a non-biological child as if it were "your own", YOU CAN!! To be honest, I had questioned it early on in the adoption process too. It was a soon-to-pass fear that I wouldn't love my adopted child like I would if he/she were biological. Here's reality for you skeptics: There is no difference in loving a biological child or loving an adopted child unless you make up a difference! That in itself is a choice.

My step-dad loves me unconditionally. That was, and continues to be, his choice. He could have treated me and my brother differently than his biological son - my step-brother. He could have been my worst nightmare. Instead he chose to love me and share a piece of his heart with me. Do I doubt his words ... never.

I used to explain what happens after a miscarriage. About feeling complete with your spouse until you begin experiencing a love you never knew existed when you become pregnant. Then, having it taken away to leave a hole in your heart. Having a love that was going nowhere. Well, adoption really can fill that hole. Now my love is bubbling over and I can only trust that God is sharing it with Mikiyas every day. I have allowed my love for my adopted child to naturally spill over the sides of the largest cup in the world. I choose to love rather than simply accept Mikiyas as a second best child.

As someone today wrote to me, adoption is so rewarding ... and addicting. Giving birth and adoption are miracles each in their own way. Now Lyle and I can't decide what we want to do about a possible baby number two. Again, we can choose to adopt or go the biological route. Can you guess where our hearts are leaning?

So instead of asking adoptive families WHY, become an advocate for such a wonderful miracle.