Discrepancies

As of late there has been rumors and stories regarding our Federal agency, CAFAC. Some are factual stories. Some are fabricated rumors. Some are shared assumptions. So I did some pondering today; some thinking and writing. Was I myself getting unnecessarily worked up over some possible discrepancies and inconsistencies, that may or may not have happened?

The biggest concern for me lately has been age discrepancies. Not a big concern, but a concern nonetheless. It hasn't affected me like it has some of the other adoptive parents. For me, I don't care that Mikiyas is older than our originally requested age. I don't care that right now Mikiyas is almost 14 months but could possibly be older. I just want to bring him home. I want to hold him in my arms. I want to share the love in my heart with my child. The travel date cannot come sooner. If Mikiyas is actually older than what one piece of paper says, we'll deal with that. But I'm not going to use that discrepancy has a hindrance in continuing the work we do with CAFAC, or a possible future adoption with CAFAC. I am not going to say CAFAC lied. I'm not going to say there's too many inconsistencies in CAFAC.

For some people, it may seem that age discrepancy is a bigger issue. I don't fault them for that. Some parents will hire private investigators to iron this out. That's fine. There is definitely nothing wrong with that. We may too in the future if we feel a need. That depends on what information we receive when we pick up Mikiyas in Ethiopia. And we wouldn't be doing it simply to prove a point. We'd be doing it for informational purposes to benefit Mikiyas. Not for the sake of curiosity. IF he's older, maybe we'll have to hire them simply to gather some information so Mikiyas can go to school with children in the same age group. But again, that's a big IF. Mikiyas may not be older. No matter how many people look at his picture and say he's not a year old, I also know he may be exactly as stated. I know pictures can be deceiving. As well, Mikiyas isn't your average white child from down the block. Look at all the differences in skin color, heights, weight, facial features etc. as a result of ethnicities.

There's also possible discrepancies in wait times and health situations. These, especially the latter, are more serious concerns. A good rule to live by when dealing with stories is "There are three sides to every story: Yours, Mine and the Facts". Each interpretation is different. I don't think people are fabricating stories for the purpose of making things up when it comes to CAFAC. But, I think everyone, including those who aren't adopting but hear the stories, need to remember that rule. I know that the foster home holds children in the highest regard - all of Ethiopia does. The foster home loves the children. Nothing harmful is ever done on purpose. Things sometimes just happen. And that's life. Things happen in Canada too. It's sad but it's reality. But you find the good in everything and you pick up the pieces to move on.

From me, I don't want people to ever feel that CAFAC hasn't or can't meet our needs. I don't want people to think that there are inconsistencies. Every adoption is unique. Every family's need is difference. Every adoption has to be cared for as it is special. Every adoption has to be handled as if it is the only one. And perhaps that is why there sometimes seems to be inconsistencies. "This happened on mine, why not yours?" "Yours went faster, how come mine is going so slow?"

Lyle and I have appreciated everything that CAFAC has done for us. They have played such an important role in helping our family grow. We will forever hold them in high regard for that, no matter how confusing or inconsistent something may appear. We can never forget that they helped make this possible. It is because of CAFAC that we will have our child home very soon.

But, as I was reminded, it is not always how fast something gets done, but the quality. CAFAC can proudly say that in all the many years they have done adoptions, they've not had one disrupted adoption. In the last year alone, they have brought home more than 65 children. In the last six months, they have referred 60 children. CAFAC didn't start because they wanted to make a living. It started because there was a need. And the people that run CAFAC are adoptive parents too, who have walked in our shoes when the process was a lot harder.

It's always nice to have every fact, every time frame and every step laid out perfectly in front of you. But that's not reality. So as our adoptions proceed, we must remember that we're not doing the leg work, someone else is - no matter what country and what agency. And for that, we owe them a lot of gratitude. We owe them our patience. We owe them our understanding when things may get rough.