Left ya hanging ...

Thanks for your patience in hearing more on where we're at in the next adoption. I've been getting emails asking questions ... and I've just been way too busy to have responded to anyone. The two main questions and answers are:

1. What agency are we using?
We spent time in prayer and re-researching the available choices we had for agencies. Basically, we started from scratch on the issue again. We have chosen to stay with Sunrise [our provincial agency] and CAFAC [our federal agency / Ethiopian facilitator].

Sunrise is a terrific provincial agency, and although our social worker has had to take a leave of absence, it was not a hard decision to make to stay with them. If we had chosen to change from CAFAC to KidsLink, we would have had to change from Sunrise as well as they are not signed with KidsLink yet.

Although there have been trust questions in the past with CAFAC due to rumours [some actual experiences, some not] and, dare I say, competition with another agency, we respect CAFAC highly. They did a phenomenal job hosting us in Ethiopia. And we know that no matter how many agencies are out there, there will always be something questionable at some point or another with everyone. More importantly, we were beautifully matched with Mikiyas. We will always be thankful to them for that.

Different paperwork is required for KidsLink, partially due to the fact that they are situated in Ontario. We know the paperwork involved with CAFAC, and can more easily prepare it having done it once before. We also know what is expected with CAFAC, and the order of steps taken. This was a major positive in choosing which agency we'd sign with.

KidsLink has quicker referral times and that did tempt us to change from CAFAC. However, we feel CAFAC is best for our family, and we were willing to wait the extra six or more months it could take to go through the process. However, recently there have been longer waits and delays with KidsLink as well so in the end, it may all even out.

2. What age range are we requesting?
With Mikiyas' adoption we requested a child, either gender, under 12 months. We received his referral approximately two weeks before his first birthday. When we picked him up in Ethiopia, he was already 18 months old.

Those first months of a child's life are valuable, and bonding can happen so much quicker and easier. The cuddles, the tiny cute clothes, the tiny little fingers and toes are adorable ... and we missed out on it all. I always thought I'd miss that; that'd I'd still long to go through those stages. But we didn't miss anything. I have no regrets. I have no longings. I have no I wishes.

The crazy thing in it all is we go through stages so quickly. We picked Mikiyas up at 18 months and he acted like a 10 month old. In six months time we have gone through 6 month to 3 year old toys. We have gone through 12 month to 2T clothes. We have gone from size 6 to size 8 shoes. We have used the expensive stroller a handful of times. We didn't use the playpen once. We have had to purchase items out of necessity one week and pass them on the next week. So we can say we've been through our own stages, and it can get expensive to live 1 1/2 years of a child's life in 6 months. But it's been the best 6 months of our lives.

So do we need to go through that infant stage? No. We've happily chosen to request a child under the age of twenty-four months. Who knows ... maybe we'll still end up with an infant, but it's no longer a longing. We realized we didn't need what we thought we needed.

We have also talked about adopting an older child, as there is definitely a LARGE need for that in Ethiopia. At this time, we have decided not to. It is important to us, because it will be important to Mikiyas, that he remain the eldest child. We have realized that he has been bullied in the past from older children, and after living possibly two to three years as an only child with us, it will be better for his transition to remain the eldest child. Besides, we have seen how much he loves those younger than him, wanting to assist in whatever way he can.

So we've put on the back burner additional children and older children. When Mikiyas and his sister-in-waiting are older, and can remain older siblings, and once we've finished paying for both adoption processes, we will bring adoption back to the front burner to look at expanding our family further.

On a side note ... we have been assigned a new social worker. She called last night to arrange our first homestudy appointment - for this Saturday. Here we go again on the interview / paper chase!