Not Prepared

All the pictures are at least two years old, except this one.  It was taken last month.

Tomorrow we lose one of our family members.  We will say good-bye to Carmin.  For those that don't know, he is dying of lymphoma, diagnosed in November.  The vet did not expect him to go much more than a week, if that.  He's survived another two months.  During that time, he gained wait, increased his energy and returned the attitude we've come to love.  He also lived to see his 13th birthday!  But, as quickly as he lost weight the first time around, it's happened again.  In the course of a weekend, the weight he gained disappeared and took with it some more.  

Since his diagnosis, I told Carmin that he had to tell me when it was time to go.  He came to me yesterday and in his own way, he told me.  I cried and snuggled.  Tomorrow evening [Jan 13] at 5:00 pm the vet and the cremator will come to the house.  We chose to have him put to sleep at the house because it is where he will be the most comfortable.  [No, he will not be cremated at the house.]  He despises vets, car rides and most other people [really, he is an amazingly gentle and loving cat!] so taking him into all three during his last moments just doesn't seem fair.  This way too, I can be with him.  But yes, I'm horrified.  I've lost pets before, but never like this.  They died without me around or knowing what happened [farm life].  I will never be prepared for losing a pet so close.

 

He loved sleeping in Mikiyas' crib  before he came home.

I am already worrying a little about Sandi.  She's from the same litter as Carmin and has never been alone before.  Hopefully she'll grieve and grow stronger through it all.