I had been going over in my mind, over and over, a blog post and how I felt about two trips to Ethiopia for this adoption ... something I had never dreamed of doing.
Lyle and I have been praying and hoping that only one person would need to attend the court hearing. That would be much more cost effective and a much less hardship on our employments. We discussed and ... surprise ... we figured Lyle would be the one to go to court, if we were allowed to have just one parent. Two reasons:
1. He's earned the holidays now at work, and can afford to take a week off to attend court. He would also still be able to take the three weeks off needed to return to Ethiopia to pick up our child[ren]. I have dayhome families and it's not so easy to find temporary replacements for each of them, especially without running the risk of returning and not having any clients at all.
2. If I go, Mikiyas has to come with me or be put in a dayhome for a week. Ugh to both! More importantly, being a mom, I will find it completely unbearable to meet our child[ren] and have to return home without her/them. I said to Lyle "Sorry, but you can suffer with that! I can't.".
But, since no referral has come yet, we decided it was not worth the stress and frustration to worry about it yet. So we didn't bother to check in with CAFAC on whether both or one parent could attend court. Besides, they said once they heard more they'd let us know. We've lost no sleep.
Today, we got the word from CAFAC, without even prodding them. Only one parent needs to attend court. YAY! This is very good news.
Now, what about the possibility of repeated court dates if birth family / police / orphanage directors / paperwork etc. doesn't show up at court??? That was a big concern I initially had. Well, this was addressed too. There will be two court processes:
- Part 1 of the court process will be attended as applicable by birth family, orphanage director, witnesses, police, MOWA, and any other persons or entities that can attest to the child being relinquished, abandoned, or orphaned.
- Part 2 of the court process will follow in approximately 6 weeks. The Adoptive Family will be required to attend this court date.
This means court will only happen once for the traveling parent. YAY. Another answer to prayer.
So although this court attendance brings about financial frustration and such, we are prepared and ready to deal with it. We're comfortable with the news now. We wish it didn't have to happen just because adoptions are expensive to begin with, but nonetheless, we move forward.
Someone had asked me how far in we were in financially for this adoption. I couldn't help but wonder ... are they asking because they think I should back out so not to incur the additional expense of this second trip to Ethiopia. Well, to answer the question for anyone else wondering, we are not even considering that and never have. I am sure some families that do have to consider this, and may have to even cancel their adoption because it is SO expensive. But Lyle and I have arrangements in place with our bank that we will not have to withdraw our adoption. It's called DEBT and if we have to go further in it to bring our family together, we're willing to do that.
So that's the update ... now where is that referral? It's been more than 22 months!
Lyle and I have been praying and hoping that only one person would need to attend the court hearing. That would be much more cost effective and a much less hardship on our employments. We discussed and ... surprise ... we figured Lyle would be the one to go to court, if we were allowed to have just one parent. Two reasons:
1. He's earned the holidays now at work, and can afford to take a week off to attend court. He would also still be able to take the three weeks off needed to return to Ethiopia to pick up our child[ren]. I have dayhome families and it's not so easy to find temporary replacements for each of them, especially without running the risk of returning and not having any clients at all.
2. If I go, Mikiyas has to come with me or be put in a dayhome for a week. Ugh to both! More importantly, being a mom, I will find it completely unbearable to meet our child[ren] and have to return home without her/them. I said to Lyle "Sorry, but you can suffer with that! I can't.".
But, since no referral has come yet, we decided it was not worth the stress and frustration to worry about it yet. So we didn't bother to check in with CAFAC on whether both or one parent could attend court. Besides, they said once they heard more they'd let us know. We've lost no sleep.
Today, we got the word from CAFAC, without even prodding them. Only one parent needs to attend court. YAY! This is very good news.
Now, what about the possibility of repeated court dates if birth family / police / orphanage directors / paperwork etc. doesn't show up at court??? That was a big concern I initially had. Well, this was addressed too. There will be two court processes:
- Part 1 of the court process will be attended as applicable by birth family, orphanage director, witnesses, police, MOWA, and any other persons or entities that can attest to the child being relinquished, abandoned, or orphaned.
- Part 2 of the court process will follow in approximately 6 weeks. The Adoptive Family will be required to attend this court date.
This means court will only happen once for the traveling parent. YAY. Another answer to prayer.
So although this court attendance brings about financial frustration and such, we are prepared and ready to deal with it. We're comfortable with the news now. We wish it didn't have to happen just because adoptions are expensive to begin with, but nonetheless, we move forward.
Someone had asked me how far in we were in financially for this adoption. I couldn't help but wonder ... are they asking because they think I should back out so not to incur the additional expense of this second trip to Ethiopia. Well, to answer the question for anyone else wondering, we are not even considering that and never have. I am sure some families that do have to consider this, and may have to even cancel their adoption because it is SO expensive. But Lyle and I have arrangements in place with our bank that we will not have to withdraw our adoption. It's called DEBT and if we have to go further in it to bring our family together, we're willing to do that.
So that's the update ... now where is that referral? It's been more than 22 months!
5 comments:
Although the past news of having to travel twice to Ethiopia was initially heart stopping because all of the additional time and arrangements which will be required, this news you are sharing today is great. Hopefully we will soon be travelling together to meet the addition(s) to the family. Glad to hear that there is a process in place and you know where you stand now.
You guys have such a great attitude on this whole thing. I love how you say it's called "debt"! lol. Oh yeah, and it is SOOO worth it.
Can't wait to hear of your referral. I really hope it is soon!
"it's called debt" yep just laughing over here too. 4 kids in and a big pile of debt. Would we have it any other way? I don't think so. Good issues on your blog, keep being strong, sk
Andrew's cousin was just telling me the same thing, as they are approaching the 2 year wait for their child in Ethiopia. Absolutely an extra hassle for you guys, but obviously worth it in the end.
Oh, we're so with you on this whole 2 trip thing. We have many of the same concerns and questions you have. And we too have had people suggest we should maybe back out before it costs us too much. I don't think so!!
The best thing to do is to keep praying. He will see us through.
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