There were both good and bad moments today. [I am actually writing on the 26th!]. It was a good day for Lyle and a bad day for me. Lyle heard Papa a couple of times, and a hello. There was tender moments of play with the monkey, the phone and the tv. We have resorted to unplugging the tv and the phone. All good things, all stimulating.
The trip to the doctor was horrific. Mikiyas started crying as soon as we were through the door After Selemnah registered him, I took Mikiyas outside to try to get him to relax. Once we were called back, Selemnah took him to be weighed [13.5 kg] and have his temperature read [fever only by one degree]. Mikiyas was crying the whole time. Selemnah was very good at trying to help as he knew the process was taking its toll on the entire family. However, I think at times it made it worse by adding one more person to the problem. We were also trying to work on having Mikiyas bond with us and see that we were there to meet his needs, but the third person wasn't always helpful. Speaking with Selemnah after about it, he understood and said it's something that is common with all the families that come over. The kids are sometimes very attached to him, so it does make the bonding with the parents harder when Selemnah can meet their needs and speak their language too.
Mikiyas was crying and sweating profusely the entire time at the doctor's office. Sweat literally drips off him. The visit to the doctor was 35 Birr, and a terrifying experience. As much as the antibiotics was good to have while in Addis, I almost think it may have been better to wait until we returned to Canada. I'm nervous of what our first visit with our family doctor will be like now. Mikiyas began wailing as soon as the doctor unclipped the overalls. The stethoscope was cold, and with all the shrieking, I'd be surprised if the doctor hear anything at all.
Selemnah came in to the room to try to help. He took Mikiyas from me again and laid him on the bed. Mikiyas was screaming and reaching for me and I did nothing to take him back. I will always feel guilty for that. The doctor was on the phone but it is beyond me how he carried on the conversation. Looking back, I should have just taken Mikiyas off the bed and held him, especially since the bed was not needed. It was at this point I ended up in tears watching him. I got him back and just held and rocked him. The doctor then checked his ears. It took three of us to hold him still. Then the throat check. The stick was shoved so far in Mikiyas was gagging. It's an experience I will never forget. We did not even both discussing or looking at Mikiyas' stomach problems at this time.
In the end, we received three prescriptions costing only 97 Birr. What a difference from Canada! One was for fever and pain, if needed again; one was eye drops; and one was antibiotics for infection.
Mikiyas and I, both in tears, went right outside while Lyle attended the Pharmacist's desk. I then spoke to Selemnah about getting the stool sample done. This test would only cost 10 Birr, and you get the results within 15 minutes. It is all done in one building. I took Mikiyas to the bathroom but he only screamed. We decided to do the test from the Weygoss and have the sample driven there. Apparently the bring orange puddle is a healthy normal brown sample. We'll wait for anything further in Canada. I can't wait to get home to our doctor.
Mikiyas spent the rest of the day absolutely hating me. Really hating me. That was a very huge step back in any progress I made. I know he'll eventually forgive me for not taking him when he was reaching and screaming for me but, it will take time to regain that ground.
Mikiyas hates Amoxicillin. Two wasted doses on his clothes until we hid it in the yogurt.
Following a failed attempt at napping again, we went with the group to the market. I went into the few stores while Lyle stayed in the van with Mikiyas. He refused to go into any stores, and refused to be near me. He even refused the coffee shop where Lyle bought a lot of coffee for people back home. We weren't gone too long, returning to have dinner. Mikiyas played with Lyle and hated me.
I washed our clothes by hand instead of sending them out. H. came for a visit to discuss things and encourage me. Mikiyas actually went to sleep in my arms as I rocked him to sleep standing in the hall talking with H. He is actually now in the crib for the night. Miracles can happen. Lyle wanted to write in here tonight too, but he has fallen asleep too.
We love our little boy. We just want him healthy and strong now. We look forward to happier times. They'll soon come. We took no pictures today ...
The trip to the doctor was horrific. Mikiyas started crying as soon as we were through the door After Selemnah registered him, I took Mikiyas outside to try to get him to relax. Once we were called back, Selemnah took him to be weighed [13.5 kg] and have his temperature read [fever only by one degree]. Mikiyas was crying the whole time. Selemnah was very good at trying to help as he knew the process was taking its toll on the entire family. However, I think at times it made it worse by adding one more person to the problem. We were also trying to work on having Mikiyas bond with us and see that we were there to meet his needs, but the third person wasn't always helpful. Speaking with Selemnah after about it, he understood and said it's something that is common with all the families that come over. The kids are sometimes very attached to him, so it does make the bonding with the parents harder when Selemnah can meet their needs and speak their language too.
Mikiyas was crying and sweating profusely the entire time at the doctor's office. Sweat literally drips off him. The visit to the doctor was 35 Birr, and a terrifying experience. As much as the antibiotics was good to have while in Addis, I almost think it may have been better to wait until we returned to Canada. I'm nervous of what our first visit with our family doctor will be like now. Mikiyas began wailing as soon as the doctor unclipped the overalls. The stethoscope was cold, and with all the shrieking, I'd be surprised if the doctor hear anything at all.
Selemnah came in to the room to try to help. He took Mikiyas from me again and laid him on the bed. Mikiyas was screaming and reaching for me and I did nothing to take him back. I will always feel guilty for that. The doctor was on the phone but it is beyond me how he carried on the conversation. Looking back, I should have just taken Mikiyas off the bed and held him, especially since the bed was not needed. It was at this point I ended up in tears watching him. I got him back and just held and rocked him. The doctor then checked his ears. It took three of us to hold him still. Then the throat check. The stick was shoved so far in Mikiyas was gagging. It's an experience I will never forget. We did not even both discussing or looking at Mikiyas' stomach problems at this time.
In the end, we received three prescriptions costing only 97 Birr. What a difference from Canada! One was for fever and pain, if needed again; one was eye drops; and one was antibiotics for infection.
Mikiyas and I, both in tears, went right outside while Lyle attended the Pharmacist's desk. I then spoke to Selemnah about getting the stool sample done. This test would only cost 10 Birr, and you get the results within 15 minutes. It is all done in one building. I took Mikiyas to the bathroom but he only screamed. We decided to do the test from the Weygoss and have the sample driven there. Apparently the bring orange puddle is a healthy normal brown sample. We'll wait for anything further in Canada. I can't wait to get home to our doctor.
Mikiyas spent the rest of the day absolutely hating me. Really hating me. That was a very huge step back in any progress I made. I know he'll eventually forgive me for not taking him when he was reaching and screaming for me but, it will take time to regain that ground.
Mikiyas hates Amoxicillin. Two wasted doses on his clothes until we hid it in the yogurt.
Following a failed attempt at napping again, we went with the group to the market. I went into the few stores while Lyle stayed in the van with Mikiyas. He refused to go into any stores, and refused to be near me. He even refused the coffee shop where Lyle bought a lot of coffee for people back home. We weren't gone too long, returning to have dinner. Mikiyas played with Lyle and hated me.
I washed our clothes by hand instead of sending them out. H. came for a visit to discuss things and encourage me. Mikiyas actually went to sleep in my arms as I rocked him to sleep standing in the hall talking with H. He is actually now in the crib for the night. Miracles can happen. Lyle wanted to write in here tonight too, but he has fallen asleep too.
We love our little boy. We just want him healthy and strong now. We look forward to happier times. They'll soon come. We took no pictures today ...
5 comments:
My heart aches as I read this Sheri. I can't imagine the toll this all took. I am so glad that you are home and able to spend time with the three of you together. Thinking of you as always.
Louise
I am also glad that you are sharing the good and the not soo good. I can only imagine how hard this day must have been
Lisa
I love your brutal honesty. I'm praying for you, although I realize you are at home now and hopefully things are a bit better. This post definitely will teach all adoptive families the importance of attachment and bonding, which you have been trying to explain to people already.
Hang in there!
emily
I had to take my son to the hospital in Addis when I picked him up. It was terrible because he also had to get an IV and it took 3 trys to get it in to his ttiny little veins. It has been the hardest experience with him so far. ANything with needles involves serious bribbing and holding him down with 4 people helping. My son hated me too but it was actually worth it to see him get well. I think you both did great for being new parents, its a difficult situation for parents who have had there kids for the first 17 monthes too.
Jessica
I know this was a few weeks ago, but maybe it will make you feel better to know that this is actually a pretty typical doctor visit for a kid that age. Not all kids, but a lot of them end up screaming and furious and mothers crying from guilt. Doctors feel horrible about it too.
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