Confession Monday

Yup.  It seems that I'm a Confession Monday kind of girl.  Yes mom, I always have to be different.  [:p this is me sticking my tongue out at you.]  So, Confession Monday it is.

I confess that:

... after way too many hours with my head in the world of Tw*l*ght last weekend, I found myself going through withdrawal.  After being consumed for hours on end with their lives, it was hard to not think about the books.  They still appear when I'm dreaming, but at least they don't veer of story.  Even my dreams are replaying the books perfectly.  Ugh!

... I have found some new music that I am enjoying.  It's a little different than what I'm used to, but I'm really enjoying it.  Gr3g Scz3b3l and Just*n3 Allynn.  Music plays in my house from 7:00 am until about 6:00 pm.  I love it and needed something new.  

... I've also been enjoying Tw*l*ght soundtracks.  No, I'm not helping the withdrawal, I know.

... After spending last weekend reading that [do I dare type the word again?] series, I found it very hard to shift my mind to read N3lson M@nd3l@'s Conv3rs@tions with Mys3lf.  I've gone from reading pages way too fast to reading the same page over and over again for days.  I haven't made it past page one yet.  Not that it's not a good book.  I trust that it is.  I've heard great things.  I'm just not ready for the drastic transition of books quite yet.

... I've been enjoying moving furniture around and redecorating.  Not really spending money doing it so that's a total bonus.  I find I have to do this about once in a year.  I enjoy change.  I embrace change.

... I am confused as to what to do with photos.  I haven't developed any photos in over two years now.  Do I or don't I?  I always like photo albums.  Two years worth of developing is a lot of money followed by a lot of time putting in albums.  Hmm...

... I loved taking my dog for a walk this afternoon.  I was wonderful to do again.  Our dear Pugsly has a condition with her leg.  When it's below zero, her back legs locks up from the cold and she can't walk.  One day she went out for a very quick pee in the backyard.  She got stuck on the stairs coming back inside.  She was just wailing.  It's been a long winter of exercising her indoors in a small space. 

... I worry that my son is growing up way too fast.  I know.  It sounds cliche and most moms feel that their kids grow up way too fast.  But I'm actually concerned.  His bedroom looks like a teenager lives there.  Seriously, what are toys for?  He even tends to his plant daily.  His music taste is very adult-like.  He's into cologne, trendy clothes and even deodorant.  I seriously feel like I live with a teenager.  His compassion for others is beyond most adults - this I love! He is honestly wise beyond his years.  Does this mean he'll move out soon?  

... I find it crazy that in two and a half months my son will be dine grade 1.  Yup - we get three months of summer.  The joy of homeschool!!

... I've eaten a granola bar and a cinnamon bun today.  That's it.  It's almost dinner time and I only had one child, plus my own today.  Is this a sign of what my week will bring me?  [No mom, I don't do this everyday!!]

... I love doing laundry.  But I hate ironing.  I try not to buy items [when we actually buy clothes!] that need ironing.  I leave ironing to my aunt!  I just wish she could live here and do mine for me.  For now, we continue to wear the occasion wrinkled shirt. 

... I'm proud of Lyle and his job.  I just don't like his rotating schedule to include shifts where he doesn't get home until 6:30 pm.

... I received a phone call from a friend in BC today.  It was pure joy.  Thanks for calling!  Miss you!

... it really sucks having to wait so long for your child through adoption.  I feel that EVERY SINGLE DAY.  But the other day I actually felt guilty for my mom.  She's watched her brothers become grandpas over and over and over while she just waits.  

... I had to remind myself that if I wasn't prepared to accept the adoption rollercoaster and the lengthy journey that goes with it, that we could have taken the easier route and had biological children.  It's not just about getting any child from anywhere.  It's about getting the specific child[ren] meant for our family from a specific place.  It's about doing God's will, not the fastest or easiest route just for the sake of having children.

... my grumpy and emotional adoption days are pretty few and far between.  Yes I think about how slow it is or that the newest country update is a real pain in the @$$, but I find the things rarely actually upset me.  God is my strength.